Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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As I wrote about last week, my husband and I exchange gifts on Christmas Eve after the kids are nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar-plums dance in their heads. (I couldn’t help it.)(Also: What are sugar-plums?)
In our early years of marriage, my husband and I would set a budget, so that we knew what we should aim for to be even and fair and all that nonsense. Yes, nonsense.
Christmas is about (Jesus, and) giving gifts that you know will make the receiver happy. We no longer have budgets and it is kind of freeing. I buy what I think will make my husband smile and he does the same. He often out-does me with the awesomeness of the gifts, but he’d tell you the same.
This year, he bought me a new wallet. My old one was ten years old, and while it’s good-quality leather, it was showing wear. I also wanted a wallet that would hold my iPhone for those excursions where I didn’t need to haul the Mom-purse.
He also bought me a kettle bell, a related workout DVD, and an exercise ball. Because I had specifically asked for them. Yes, really.
And then, when I thought we were all done with the gifts, he got up and walked to the tree to fish out one last present for me. He gave me this:
He told me that he bought it because they are like my blue eyes. Upon looking closer, I think the three large stones/bands represent our kids and the crossing threads represent him and I. He agreed. He bought me a family ring and didn’t even know it until after the fact. It’s what we refer to as “a God thing.”
Aside from my engagement ring/wedding band and a gold cross on a necklace, it’s the first piece of “real” jewelry that he’s bought me. I have a costume jewelry addiction that he caters to, but this is new territory. I can’t stop looking at it. It’s so PRETTY and SHINY and FULL OF MEANING. It’s like when I had my engagement ring on my finger 12 years ago. I’m all schmoopy, yet again.
What did you get for Christmas?
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It’s beautiful! And, you know, I like the idea of not setting a budget. We honestly were going to go that route this year, but we ended up doing a couple of seriously pricey non-gifts that were sort of presents to each other — taking the fam on a cruise and getting our closet customized — so we ended up going really easy on the gifts. Plus, his birthday is 20 days before Christmas and mine is 30 after, so, you know, this time of year gets expensive. But I love hearing about how not adhering to a gift budget for each other resulted in such a lovely surprise! Maybe next year …
Kristen | December 27th, 2011 at 11:28 am
Wow that is beautiful and awesome.
I tried setting a budget and he would hear nothing of it.
A couple of weeks ago I got an iPhone and I’ve been so happy because that thing takes better pictures than my old camera, so I’ve been taking lots and lots. On Christmas I woke up to a Canon Rebel T3.
Danica | December 27th, 2011 at 12:38 pm
My husband STUNNED me with a new iPod this year! Yes, it is technically for work (I’m a board-certified music therapist and always carry a lot of tunes with me to use in a pinch with clients) but the fact that he thought of it by himself and managed to purchase/hide it without me finding out just stunned me. Thank goodness for wonderful hubbies like ours, eh?
Emily @ Make It Happen Mama | December 28th, 2011 at 12:07 am
My S-I-L made sugar plums for the first time! They’re REAL!
The ones she made looked like mini rum-balls but were made of dates (or something like that) and sugar and flavouring, so really, they’re….sugared…plums as far as I can tell!
Victoria | December 28th, 2011 at 6:48 pm