Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
|
Yes, I talk about how my husband and I plan to stay married “’til death do us part”, and no, we are not having any problems (in fact, this year has been our best yet). I just read this article at The Stir about Camille Grammer considering changing back to her maiden name after her sixteen-year marriage to Kelsey ended bad way (he cheated, is dragging her through the courts for sole custody of their kids, he’s seems to be an expert in douchebaggery, etc.)
I had a good friend go through a nasty divorce once (he had a drug problem, cheated on her, etc.) and I asked her if she planned on keeping his last name, or if she’d go back to her maiden name. She had no affinity for her maiden name (not my story to tell), and she said that it would just be easier to keep his name, as that was her daughter’s last name. She had custody most of the time, so dealing with schools, doctors, etc. was less complicated if they had the same last name. It just made more sense.
It would be a hard decision, I think, especially if the divorce was nasty. It would be hard to be associated with the person who is causing you so much grief.
How about you? Would you (did you) change your last name after divorce?
Subscribe to blog via RSS
See, this is why I don’t want to change my name. I mean, I hope I never get divorced, but if I did, I certainly wouldn’t want to still be known by my ex-husband’s last name. The thing that’s weird to me is my husband’s first wife still uses an e-mail address that has her first + his last name even though she’s re-married and took her new husband’s last name. She still uses AOL so maybe that explains it?
Tamara | January 13th, 2012 at 12:26 am
I, like you, don’t plan to get divorced but if it ever came to that (I’m not even married yet!! 50 days!) I think it’d depend on the situation. Probably if we had kids together I’d just keep his name.
My fiance’s sister got divorced and changed her name back to her maiden name despite having 4 kids with her ex because the situation was so bad.
K | January 13th, 2012 at 9:25 am
I contemplated this when Noah and I were separated and decided that I would keep my last name. I legally changed Kaylie’s last name to Wilson after we were married, and the other two have his last name too, obviously. Plus, I had to spell out and/or pronounce my maiden name ALL THE TIME and it was quite annoying. And plus, it’s kind of fun being one of a BAZILLION Jennifer Wilsons.
Mrs. Wilson | January 15th, 2012 at 11:01 pm
I would change it back. I liked my maiden name better anyway, my married name would be hard to pronounce in my home country, and by the law there, I’d have to change it back anyway. If we got divorced and had kids by then, it would suck, but it would be ok in the end, I’m sure. Well, fingers crossed we’ll never have to find out!
Dani | January 16th, 2012 at 1:36 am
I didn’t feel it was necessary to take his name when we got married; I didn’t feel it was necessary to have the same last name as my kids after we had kids - and I’m perfectly happy having kept my name. I have never had ANY difficulty whatsoever for having a different last name from my kids (who are now 6 and 9 YO). However, HAD I changed it when we got married, I’d likely keep his last name if we were to ever divorce. My feeling is - it’s just a name….!
Angela | January 16th, 2012 at 1:38 pm