Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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When I was eleven years old, my body decided to respond to my female hormones and presented me with the gift of a monthly cycle. I still remember the first time I got my period; I called my Mom to come up to the bathroom, she took one look at the ‘evidence’ and asked, “Is that from YOU?”
Such a bonding moment, that.
She then took me out for lunch and talked to me about how boys were going to want to get into my pants (*cringe*) and how all that boys think about was sex (*ew*) and that if I didn’t want to get pregnant, I better keep said pants on (*MOM!*).
I had a bit of an idea what sex was - thanks to a friend showing me with a Barbie and Ken couple - but everything was still pretty vague at that point. And also, awkward. Talking about sex with your parents is horrifying, regardless of your age.
Now *I* am the Mom, and my oldest child, a son, is almost ten. (I still can’t believe that. DOUBLE DIGITS.) He’s only started having girl friends in the past year, and the bulk of his time is spent playing video games with his (male) buddies. He’s nowhere near being ready to date or anything, but I keep reading horrible statistics about how young kids are when they start having sex and it scares me a little.
Yes, we live in a close-knit community, and yes, we live so far out of town that my kids can’t sneak out to meet up with their friends (Yay!), but I know that we’re going to have to have “the talk” soon. My husband and I are affectionate with each other, the kids know that there is no stork that drops babies off, and that they entered the world via my private parts. I think that the technical details are pretty vague for them, still, so we’ll have to have a little scientific discussion. I just don’t it to be too soon … or too late.
How about you? When did you have “the talk” with your kids? If you haven’t had it yet, when do you think is a good time for it?
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Better you than the playground. To clarify, I’m only referring to what kids say on the playground.
Heather | July 26th, 2012 at 11:00 am
I’ve tried to have the talk as my newly double-digits girl has started to develop but it seems to be a continual process as about 1 minute in each time I see her brain wander (evidenced by far off look and smile). Now this is what happens anytime something she doesn’t want to talk about/deal with is going on. And the fact that she has autism exacerbates the issue.
But I remember my mother never really had “the talk” we had multiple smaller talks. And things could be repeated, requestioned over and over again. But I’ve started now so we have some reference perhaps when she actually asks more questions later. I wouldn’t want her to think she had one shot at learning all there is to learn.
Mich | July 26th, 2012 at 1:02 pm
My kids are 10 (son) and 7 (daughter) and they’ve both known for years. I guess I had “the talk” with my son when he was about 7 YO, and my daughter was just along for the ride. They know how babies are made, and about menstruation. I highly recommend Meg Hickling’s book on Body Science (not sure on protocol for posting a link, but you can easily find it at Chapters). It’s what i used to open up the talk, and my son still keeps it on his bookshelf in his bedroom. Also, when my daughter was in Kindergarten, our school’s PAC hosted an educator to come in one evening and have “the talk” with kids about the basics of biology and the differences, and how boys and girls are different, and how babies are made. It was for K-Grades 3 and it was packed with kids and their parents! I think every kid is different, so when they start asking questions, maybe that’s when to open up the discussion. My son is mature for his age and WAS asking those types of questions so I figured best to start it out right, and hear it from me.
Angela | July 26th, 2012 at 6:44 pm