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Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

Does your husband do housework?

Categories: marriage


My husband is on staff at our church, and his job is to run the children’s and families department. Part of that commitment sees him standing on the platform every Sunday, performing an object lesson for the kids (and adults) who sit in front of him.

This past Sunday, he talked about how there are so many responsibilities when you have a family. There are babies, who are all-consuming, there is cooking and baking, there is vacuuming and laundry. And then there are the dirty jobs (he said this, while snapping on rubber gloves and waving a toilet brush). Nobody likes to do the dirty jobs.

(The object of the lesson was to talk about how a church family is like your own family; we all have jobs to do, and we work together.)

After he snapped on the gloves and started talking about the dirty jobs, a (male) friend leaned back and said, ‘Yeah, but does he actually do any cleaning?’

Me: ‘He’s far better at house cleaning than I am.’

Him: ‘Oh.’

Me: ‘In fact, he washed all of the floors and cleaned all three bathrooms yesterday.’

Him: ‘OH.’

This is not to knock our friend - he works twelve hours a day, six days a week. House cleaning is not one of his main responsibilities, nor should it be, as they have a different dynamic in their house, work-wise, than we do.

I just found it humorous — yet again — that it is assumed that men are incapable of doing housework. My husband is not only capable, he does far more of it than I do because he’s a bit of a clean freak. While we’re breaking stereotypes here, I might as well add that my husband took over our regular weekly baking (cookies, muffins, granola bars) when I went back to work in an office three years ago and still does it even though I’ve returned to being self-employed and spend my days at home.

How does it work in your house? Does your husband do housework?

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3 comments so far...

  • Sounds very similar to our house. When I was pregnant with Preston (and working four jobs), Noah took over the bulk of the housework. Dishes, laundry, floors, the bathroom (we only have one)(I long for three!). He still does all those things. He’s never done the cooking, but he does bake a mean batch of double chocolate cookies. I’ve always liked cooking and therefore have always done it.

    Housework used to be a huge area of conflict with us. It is not, anymore, and I’m grateful for that.

    Mrs. Wilson  |  August 29th, 2012 at 11:04 am

  • Also, he’s a clean freak and can’t relax unless his space is clean. I can relax just fine with toys and laundry and things everywhere.

    Mrs. Wilson  |  August 29th, 2012 at 11:07 am

  • My husband does toilets and we share the cooking responsibilities (either cooking separate or together). He also does dishes and cleans the kitchen. I wish he wanted to clean floors though!
    He is far better at removing clutter and straightening up than I am and I am better at making sure things are clean. It works for us.

    Kay  |  September 2nd, 2012 at 11:46 am