

Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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My husband and I lead very (VERY) busy lives between work and three kids and activities. The last few weeks have been even busier, due to the conference I attended, my son hurting his collarbone (It’s not broken, but we spent an entire day in the ER just to find that out), and a few other ‘extra’ things going on. I’ve been manically trying to catch up, to the point where I’ve had moments where it’s hard to breathe. Then, last Thursday night, my husband and I sat down after the kids were in bed and, well. I won’t go into details, but he pointed out a few things that I could ‘improve on.’ And then I hit him with a frying pan.
No, I didn’t hit him. But I knew that trying to talk right then, with the way the conversation was going only a few minutes in, would not end well. So, I told him to think about what he had said to me, and I went to bed. I know that “they” say not to go to bed angry, but it was better walk away before it all blew up, and try again in the morning.
The first thing he did in the morning was apologize, because he saw how his words and how he used them were not even what he was trying to communicate. We both smarted a bit for the day, and then that night and were able to talk calmly about what had happened the night before. No yelling, no name-calling, just retreating until the mood was more conducive to having a civil conversation.
Do you ever go to bed angry?
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My new motto is “Let’s just stop!” If we see that we disagree, sometimes it’s better just to quit. Especially if it is about a situation that does not need to be resolved immediately.
So do we go to bed “angry”? I try not to. But not because everything is fixed, because we avoid anger. We do go to bed with discord and work it out later.
Heather | November 1st, 2012 at 1:31 am