Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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I remember decorating our family’s Christmas tree with my sister while the Wizard of Oz played on the television. My Mom didn’t seem to mind us taking the reins and we had so much fun doing it after my step father strung the lights. Pulling each ornament out of the box like a long lost friend and carefully placing it on the tree, throwing tinsel on the branches, spraying fake snow on the ends of the branches. (It was the eighties. Don’t judge.)
When I was single, I had a little tabletop tree that I would decorate and place on a counter in my apartment, and when I got married, my husband and I inherited a (really nice) artificial tree from his parents when they downsized to a smaller one. I decided on a theme that fit my house (country)(even though I hate country music) and proceeded to buy/make what I wanted to decorate the tree with. Every year when it’s time to decorate, I turn on the Christmas music, open up the boxes, and get lost in the fun of Christmasifying our home.
If it were up to me, I would decorate sometime in mid-November. I love the lights, I love the ambiance, I love how happy the holiday is. My husband, however, has one rule: No decorating until after the Festival of Lights, which is the last Friday in November. Every year, Saturday morning after Light Up sees my husband hauling all of the boxes out of the attic in the garage and me (and now, our kids) decorating the tree(s). (We now have a second tree for downstairs, which is where the kids hang all of their decorations; the tree upstairs is my tree.)
As I mentioned in my last post, I was in New York this past week, and in getting ready for my trip we didn’t have time to do the tree before I left. I arrived in NYC on the Monday and that night I called my husband to get him to set up a Skype chat for the kids and I. The Skype phone rang, I heard their voices, and then the video started with the kids sitting at the kitchen table exclaiming Hi, Mom!
I said ‘hi’ and then blinked. A few times. The entire area behind them was full of sparkling white lights.
Did you guys put up the Christmas tree without me?!?
Yes! Isn’t it pretty?
I started to cry. I didn’t just tear up, I full out cried. Then they started to cry and my husband was saying off screen that they did it for me, and I tried to compose myself (to no avail). I told them that I was tired from a long day of travel and that they didn’t need to cry and then we said goodbye and hung up.
And then I did the UGLY CRY. Decorating the Christmas tree is MY THING. How could they decorate it WITHOUT ME? I was a pretty sad and tragic lady.
Thirty minutes later, I received an email from my husband with the attached photo and message:
Blank canvas, all ready for your touch. 
We are all terribly sorry…
All was right in my world again and everyone we’ve told the story has found it as shocking (that it happened) and hilarious (now that it’s been remedied) as we have.
Who decorates the tree in your house?
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I help husband put lights on the tree. Then I open up all the boxes of ornaments and let the kids go to town. I love hearing them squeal as they find their favorite ornaments. I don’t mind that they do it all, but I would like to be in the room to enjoy it, haha.
Jen | December 7th, 2012 at 3:15 pm
your story made me tear up a little bit. I would do the ugly cry as well. And I love that he un-did it all.
rachel joy | December 7th, 2012 at 3:40 pm
I would have cried too! I love decorating the tree!
Sizzle | December 7th, 2012 at 10:07 pm
I like my tree. The end result, not so much the process. My husband puts the lights on. This year I was babysitting in late November so I thought it would be a fun activity gore the 7 year old and I was right. It’s a little unbalanced but I don’t mind. I have a tonne of ornaments. It’s almost unbelievable. Some are teacher gifts, some are from my childhood and a few are from my grandma’s collection.
Heather | December 8th, 2012 at 12:43 am
That was sweet of them but I would have reacted the exact same way. It was even sweeter that Matthew took it all back down so you could do it together.
Cc | December 8th, 2012 at 1:33 am
We use an artificial tree thanks to many cases of asthma in our family (sigh). It’s pre-lit and awesome. Husband puts it together, then I put on the garland because I’m terribly picky about how it needs to be “just so”. Then, I sit on my butt and maybe take a few pictures while the kids put on all the ornaments. I refrain from commenting. But I do reserve the right to readjust ever-so-slightly as necessary, after they are gone to bed!
So far this year, no re-adjustments have been necessary. I’m not really picky about the tree.
Angela | December 10th, 2012 at 12:55 pm
We have an artificial tree (7 or 9 feet high) which me/my husband set up…then I “floof” the branches and put the lights on (LOTS of lights). After that, I open the totes and put the hooks on the ornaments (all the cheapy, plastic, non-shatter ones…my kids are still little) and hand them over to the yard apes. The tree is only decorated as high as they can reach and completely to their asthetic. And I love it. I never spread the ornaments out or decorate the top half of the tree. I figure that someday they will be all grown up and much less excited to help me…or maybe they will just do the whole thing for me which would make me very happy too.
That being said, I don’t think I would like it if they set it up without me either, though.
Saskymama | December 11th, 2012 at 2:29 pm