with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
When kids are little, they are (mostly) innocent, but even the most angelic child can decide to lie. In the case of my kids, it’s usually because they are scared that they will get in trouble if they admit to something. They will don their “lying face” — my kids will never win at poker — and omit/stretch/lie about the truth.
Lying is something that is simply not acceptable in our house. Our faith aside, lying breaks trust. We spend a lot of time together as a family and I want to trust these people who I spend all of my time with, because life is so much better when we can trust each other
Here’s how we teach our kids not to lie:
1. Explain how their lying makes you feel. For me, it hurts my feelings that my kids choose to lie to my face. I communicate this, and ask them how they would feel in the same situation. This helps them to understand that their lies affect others, and not just themselves.
2. Lying brings more consequences than speaking the truth. Will I be disappointed if they did or said something they should not have done? Sure. But I’m much more disappointed about lying and there will be tougher consequences. Like NO DESSERT. (I’m heartless, I know.)
3. Explain that you want their safety above everything else. I want my kids to know that I am their first line of defense about anything. I’d rather them call me when in a bad situation than to lie about it.
(As we near the teenage years, we will communicate to them that they may find themselves at parties, etc., and may make a bad choice and drink too much while underage. While that’s nothing we want for them, we want them to call us to get them, instead of getting a knock on the door from a police officer with their condolences. Telling the truth will keep them alive, and then we can have a good chat about making wise choices.)
Tell them that you love them. You love them and you want the best life for them. You’ve also been charged in teaching them in the way that they should go, and lying doesn’t help. It only hurts.
Get down to their level. Let them know that you understand why they may think that lying is the easier choice. Tell stories of when you lied and how that turned out. They’ll see you as a human — and not a Dictator — and will understand that you really are doing this for their own good.
How do you teach your kids not to lie?
Subscribe to blog via RSS