Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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Over the course of our (almost) thirteen years of marriage, my husband and I have traded the “top spot” of primary breadwinner. Until last April, I had the “coveted” spot of bringing in the higher pay check and then our roles reversed. Since then, he has been working two jobs and I’ve been working half-time hours. I’d like to find more work so that he can ease off of the labor job he’s doing, but so far we’ve been out of luck.
We’re fine, we just like to have a cushion and not have to count every single penny. Having savings are important to us and we don’t want to use them until absolutely necessary. We like to be able to surprise our kids with something fun, or go out for dinner just the two of us, or treat a friend to coffee.
The biggest adjustment has been me and my ego. While my husband and I have switched the “top spot” over the years, I’ve held it more often than he has and feel like it’s my responsibility because I’m the one with initials behind my name.
How does it work in your relationship? Who is the primary bread winner in your house?
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I find it interesting that you feel a sense of responsibility to holding the ‘top spot’, given that our culture doesn’t promote that idea. I like it!
My husband and I have similar union jobs. I’m a little higher on the pay grid, but not by much. Now, I’m on mat leave so it’s a whole new game. I have not adjusted! I’m used to paying for stuff with ‘my’ money and am still doing so. However, that money is going to run out! We have a system in place (joint account) and agree on what is paid for with that account, but I’m hesitant about anything in the grey area. I need not be. My husband has never disagreed about what I thought should be a shared expense. I guess I feel uneasy about spending joint money without discussing it.
Heather | February 12th, 2013 at 8:45 pm