Committed: The Ties that Bond
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
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I love awards shows — I have ever since I was a kid — and the two of my three kids who (look like me, and) are wired like me love them too. The three of us sat on the couch with a huge bowl of popcorn and watched the Oscars this past Sunday night. I won’t get into the fact how I think they had the worst host ever or how it seemed to drag on and on and on with irrelevant content (See: All the Dreamgirls stuff), but there were some good moments. Most of them on Twitter, but that’s for another post.
There seems to be some uproar over Ben Affleck’s statement when thanking his wife Jennifer Garner.
I want to thank my wife who I don’t normally usually associate with Iran. I want to thank you for working on our marriage for 10 Christmases.
I don’t understand why people are dogging him for the comment. Marriage is work, but it is the best kind of work. You work toward better communication, you work toward staying connected, you work toward making it to forever.
Relationships in general take work. If you want to stay connected with your friends, you make plans to spend time with them. If you want to be involved with extended family, you plan dinners and such. If you want to be a relevant voice in your kids’ life, you work at building little moments with them.
Marriage is no different. Well, it’s a bit different in that this relationship is the one that is the largest one that you’ll ever be in. It’s because of your spouse that you have those children and you need to be a united front when they launch an attack (of pushing the boundaries). They are the first person that you see in the morning and the last person you see at night and the person with whom you bounce your little bits of every day against.
The every day can wear on everyone and the easy road can be to walk the road solo. Choosing to put the work into putting your marriage first can sometimes feel like, well, work, but the benefits are worth the work. Having someone whom you love and trust and who can raise their shield next to yours when dealing with preteen hormones is more than worth the work behind it. Plus, there are all of those moments of innuendos and inside jokes and camaraderie.
Do you find marriage to be hard work? Do you think that it’s worth it?
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yes, it takes work. yes, it’s worth it!
I loved his comments to her, and thought of them when I saw the title of your article.
rachel joy | February 26th, 2013 at 4:39 pm
I have been married for 43+ years. I honestly do not think of marriage as work.
I am married to my best friend. I treat him like the most valuable thing in my life and he treats me the same way.
If that is difficult to do, then I guess it could be called “work”
We are retired now, but “back in the day” we both worked outside the home and raised two boys. The last 9 years of our working lives, we ran a business together. I did the accounting and administration and customer service, he handled sales, operations and personnel management. It was hard, but we always kept in our minds that it was “us against the world.”
If your spouse is not your best friend, and is not the most valuable thing in your life - maybe you married the wrong person.
(I don’t mean “you” personally, but in the general sense.)
Nancy | February 26th, 2013 at 4:40 pm