with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
Before I ever had a husband lined up (Sounds like he’s under fire or something), I knew that I would take the name of my future spouse. It is not that I disliked my maiden name (Moran) (Which jokers would say, “As in MORON?” The joke was not funny the first time…nor the thousandth time I heard it). My main reason for wanting to share my husband’s last name is part of our desire to be “One”. Same family, same name.
I have some friends who kept their maiden name for professional or other reasons. It works for them, except when people are referring to their family as a whole. It becomes a bit of a hyphenated mouthful and we end up just referring to them by their first names. The kids generally take the Dad’s last name and the Mom is the one with a different name.
I have one girlfriend who came through a nasty divorce with her and her five-year-old daughter intact. I asked her if the bitterness towards her ex would cause her to revert to her maiden name but she said she would keep her ex-husband’s name. She wanted to have the same last name as her daughter. She said it made her daughter feel more secure and connected to her, and was easier when dealing with registration for school and other activities.
I honestly do not think that there is a “right” or a “wrong” choice on this issue. We all share the same name in my family, but others do what works for them. It is not a moral issue as far as I can see. It is simply a matter of personal choice.
The reason I brought this up is that I read an interesting article this week (Found via Kirtsy) that discusses the topic of the husband taking the wife’s name. It is not a common occurrence (35 out of 28,000 marriages), but it does occur. The men who choose to change their names come up against all sorts of obstacles and costs that women don’t generally encounter.
Would your husband have taken your name? I know mine would not have, mainly because nobody likes to be called a Moron on a regular basis. Trust me.
What about the name topic in general? Did you/would you change your name? Or do you prefer to stick with the name you were born with?
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