with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
Infidelity is a hot topic when it comes to relationships. It seems that everywhere you turn, there are news stories about celebrities, politicians, regular community folks…confessing to (or getting busted for) getting intimate with people other than the one they are married to.
My husband and I vowed to be married until death do us part. Part of that commitment involves only being intimate with each other. Being “intimate” with someone is just that. INTIMATE. Being naked around someone leaves you vulnerable - physically, emotionally, spiritually. It involves a great deal of trust. I cannot imagine the heartache that happens when that trust is broken.
That is not entirely true. I do know a little about the aftermath of adultery.
My parents divorced when I was three because there were other people waiting in the wings. They had let their relationship die a slow death and it had gotten to the point where it was more desirable for them to start anew (And then repeat the cycle with their new spouses years later).
I am a firm believer that cheating on a spouse is not due to some crazy whim of nature. It starts in the heart. As you drift further and further from your spouse others begin to look more appealing. If those other people are ready and willing, what’s to stop you?
We are also pretty removed from situations that may cause eyes to wander. We are both self-employed and work from home. It is totally fine (And in fact, encouraged!) if he flirts with the secretary (Me). I will occasionally go on work trips or do some contract work in a local office here, but my coworkers are in the same filed as I am. Accounting. ‘nuf said.
Before I was married I vowed that if my spouse were to cheat, I would be out the door in a heartbeat. To suffer the kind of pain to know that my beloved had been with another woman would be too much to bear. Adultery is the one “out” that the Bible gives for divorce (Leaving the toilet seat up isn’t mentioned anywhere. I’ve read it from front to back), so I would use my “Free pass” and flee the situation.
However. We now share three children.
I know a few amazing women who have endured the gut wrenching betrayal of a wayward spouse. Their spouses were truly repentant afterward and the women decided to stay and work it out. They came out of the ordeal stronger than ever with their family intact.
Their stories are inspiring to me. It would be so much easier to be angry, to walk away, to throw away all of the good. I don’t know if I would be strong enough to stay in that kind of situation.
What about you? What would you do if your spouse cheated?
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