Having three children myself, I can testify that having them around kicks the busy-ness of life to a whole other level. In addition to activities and commitments that my husband and I have, we have three little beings who need to be shuttled to school, swimming, dance class, etc.

Many articles and studies seem to point towards children being detrimental to your marriage. I can see how it could be the case; having uninterrupted conversations with my husband generally have to wait until the kids are all in bed or we’re out on a Date Night.

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This past weekend my husband and I packed our three kids into our minivan and embarked on a road trip to the Oregon coast. In the course of four days and three nights we traveled over 1,300 miles throughout Washington and Oregon states. Based on the fact that I am sitting here typing this, you know that we made it home alive.

We wondered how well our kids would do on the trip and were quite surprised (and thankful) at how well the whole thing went. We broke the driving into small chunks of time (two hours on average) and would stop to get out and stretch our legs, have a bathroom break, grab a meal, etc. While in the van we had books, snacks and the almighty DVD player.

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I come from a family background that (could probably get me a guest spot on Oprah, and) is a little bit complicated. My Dad has been married four (!) times and had children with the first three of his wives. I have eight (!) siblings, only one of whom shares the same mother with me. That sister is two years younger than I am.

The first (older) set of my Dad’s kids grew up across the country but we’ve had our chances to connect over the years. The youngest set of siblings I am especially close to as I moved in with my Dad when the first of their babies was but a toddler and my Step Mom was pregnant with the second one.

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My husband and I have three small children and while they are wonderful and amazing in all of their mind-blowing awesomeness, they can put a little damper of the romance. It’s kind of hard to be all sexy and seductive when you are wiping bums and yelling at the kids to STOP FIGHTING ALREADY.

My husband and I have been huge proponents of regular Date Nights in order to (keep our sanity, and) have time to reconnect. Sometimes having a night out is not in the cards (or the budget), but there are other ways to keep your relationship from drowning in the current of Life With Kids.

This article from CNN lists a number of ideas, and we practice many of them into our daily lives.

• Implement early bedtimes. I know some people who have young children that stay up until nine or ten every night. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Our kids are in bed at eight. No ifs ands or buts. Then it’s our time.
• Share the load. Those who know me know that my husband more than shares the load. But when the kids are in bed, we work together to deal with laundry, make school lunches, get organized for the next day. There may or may not be butt pinching involved.
• 
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I read an article on CNN titled Jon and Kate plus hate? Ways to deal with common relationship stress (It’s a great article; I suggest you go read it). I thought that the points shared were worth discussing here. Marriage is hard enough as it is, but there are certain things that trigger stress and can make things even harder on the both of you.

1. A growing family

No kidding! Bringing home your very first newborn is a very stressful time. Are they eating enough? Are they eating too much? Are they sleeping enough? Are they sleeping too much? You’re likely getting your sleep in one to two hour increments (If you’re lucky) and we all know that sleep deprivation can wreak havoc on your emotions.

Each stage of childhood brings its own stresses and when you keep adding kids to the mix, the stress level can rise. Keeping your marriage relationship strong through communicating and spending time together just the two of you is vital.

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I read an article this morning by Lisa Belkin (from the Motherlode blog in the New York Times) about fighting in front of the kids.

I have to say that I agree with her that it is a good thing for your children to see you fight. Not the kind of fighting where voices are raised and horrible things are said, but the kind of fight where you discuss the situation reasonably like two adults should.

I have written before about how my husband and I fight; we fight FAIR. There is no name calling, no insults flung, no screaming matches. I think that my kids will better equipped to handle disagreements in their own relationships as they grow up because they have seen it modeled to them.

They also see that marriage is not perfect, that conflicts arise, but they also see that when you love someone (whether spouse or friend) there is a way to work things out.

How about you? Do you fight in front of your kids?

This little corner of the Internet is reserved for topics about marriage/long-term committed relationships. I usually write about an issue/marriage-related situation that happened with us that week, or go looking for articles that inspire me to write on a current topic.

This past week has left me floundering.

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I was a bit stumped last week for topics to write about over here and threw it out to my Twitter peeps (Which sounds so cool, but I assure you that I am not). I asked for suggestions about post topics and was inundated with suggestions. The one that stuck out as the forerunner was the following reply:

Surviving the first few weeks of parenthood without killing each other and staying connected. Because HELLO CHALLENGE.

Oh, man. It may be a little over six years since we first brought home a newborn baby but the feelings from that incredibly life-altering stage came rushing back when I read that response to my question.

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While perusing the Internet this week I came across this article at ParentDish that stated that more vasectomies occur during March Madness (Original source: The Chicago Tribune.)

I found this post entertaining because, 1. My husband has had a vasectomy, 2. He is a huge fan of March Madness, and 3. He happened to have his procedure done in March (2007).

Wait a second…

The topic of having a vasectomy is one that causes a lot of discussion in our large circle of friends. It seems as though “back in the day” doctors would just tie the tubes of the mother after childbirth if the family knew they were done procreating. Nowadays, there are still a few men that feel that they will somehow be less “manly” if they have a vasectomy.

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This past weekend was a rough one in our house. Friday night (or technically, Saturday morning) consisted of a date between me, the porcelain throne, and my husband who was rubbing my back. I had the distinct pleasure (if you can call it that) of experiencing food poisoning. Awesome.

Saturday night, our eldest child complained that his right eye was itchy. Come Sunday morning, both eyes were itchy, red, and oozing green slime. After a wait in the doctor’s office that took well over an hour, he was diagnosed with pink-eye. Nothing that a little antibiotic ointment won’t cure. We just need to find a way to actually get it into his eye.

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