This past weekend my husband and I got to discussing how happy we are at this stage in our lives. We’re leading hectic lives, yes, but we managed to make it through the baby years (mostly) unscathed. We have three neat little kids whom we actually like to spend copious amounts of time with. Don’t get me wrong - bedtime is still a magical time of day, but we don’t start looking forward to it at noon like we used to.

We started talking about the fun stuff that we have coming down the pipe as a family, and individually. Vacations, projects, new hobbies explored. We’re learning to make more time for things we enjoy, as opposed to working all the live long day, and we’re pretty content because of it.

The conversation turned to where we thought we’d be ten years from now. Our kids will be thirteen, fifteen and seventeen (YIKES). We don’t see ourselves living anywhere else but where we are right now - we’ve been here for nine years already and love it all - our home, our friends, our community. My husband’s in a bit of a flux with his career and isn’t sure where he’ll be. I’d like to be doing less (or no) accounting work and more writing/photography work. I think we’ll just be fuller versions of who we are now, but with an impending empty nest (GULP).

How about you? Where do you see yourself in ten years?

This past weekend the sun (FINALLY) shone and I took a good hour or so to sit on the deck and read magazines whilst refusing to feel even a titch guilty about it. While I was flipping through the magazines I came across an interview with David Code, who has written “To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First“. And then yesterday morning on Facebook I saw that our very own Lylah had linked to an article she had written about the same book and author titled, “Are you using kids to escape your marriage?”

Read the rest of this entry

(I usually try to use the term “spouse” in my titles to make any male readers I have feel included but based on the comments, I’m pretty sure that men do not read this column.)

(If there are dudes who read, feel free to set me straight.)

My husband likes to shop. He is no way a metrosexual (Not that anything is wrong with that) but he hates when his clothes are worn and/or outdated and likes to remedy the situation.

He also loves to help me shop. A (large) part of it is likely the chance to watch me strip in the change room. Aside from the free show, he also has valuable input. He has no problem telling me if something is just not working and he also has no problem telling me if (he thinks) I look HOT. He’s pretty much the most perfect shopping partner ever.

As if his shopping prowess with me was not enough, he has extended his awesomeness to our three children. With me back in full-time employment and him working part-time around school hours, he’s been the One In The Know when it comes to the kids’ clothing needs.

In addition to “The Basics”, he set out this past week in search of an Easter dress for our dear daughter. He emailed me a photo of said dress (I silently squeed), then proceeded to buy it, as well as some other necessities (Her shirts were all starting to look like tube tops).

I know that my husband is a rarity in our circle of married friends, but maybe it’s just because we live in a small town where many couples fall into more “traditional” roles.

How does it work in your relationship? Does your husband like to shop? Or is it something akin to being lashed with a wet noodle?

I read a post over at Parent Dish titled “Romance Advice for New Parents - Make Date Night a Priority“. It is no secret that I am a huge proponent of a regular date night, so of course this article caught my eye.

This article was aimed at parents of newborn babies. Anyone who has had one of those (amazingly miraculous yet ridiculously exhausting) creatures knows all too well how their entrance into your world throws said world off of its axis. Everything you thought you “knew” about how you would parent is thrown out the window. So do all of your ideals about keeping your “couple time” intact. At least, that’s how it was for my husband and I.

Read the rest of this entry

I read a post over at The Motherlode titled, “Can Parenting Be Truly Equal?” Yes, I know that this is a marriage column and not a parenting column, but my husband and I happen to have three (ridiculously awesome) children. That aside, the column doesn’t actually discuss parenting - it discusses how the division of household chores and tasks tend to fall unequally along the gender lines.

She quotes a number of her commenters who come from a family where both spouses work, but the wife is the one who bears the bulk of the household chores. This post caught my attention because I returned to full-time employment in an office this week. The difference is that my husband is working part-time hours around the kids’ school schedules and is on Daddy Daycare duty the rest of the time.

Read the rest of this entry

This past weekend I Twittered a conversation between my three-year-old daughter and I that went something (or exactly) like this:

Emily: “Look at my special trick!” *Unsnaps button of her jeans, with flair*

Me: “I do that special trick for Daddy all the time.”

Leah thought I was kidding and a few others wondered the same. The truth of the matter is that my husband and I speak in innuendos to each other all day long, much of which is sparked by things our kids say.

Read the rest of this entry

Having three children myself, I can testify that having them around kicks the busy-ness of life to a whole other level. In addition to activities and commitments that my husband and I have, we have three little beings who need to be shuttled to school, swimming, dance class, etc.

Many articles and studies seem to point towards children being detrimental to your marriage. I can see how it could be the case; having uninterrupted conversations with my husband generally have to wait until the kids are all in bed or we’re out on a Date Night.

Read the rest of this entry

This past weekend my husband and I packed our three kids into our minivan and embarked on a road trip to the Oregon coast. In the course of four days and three nights we traveled over 1,300 miles throughout Washington and Oregon states. Based on the fact that I am sitting here typing this, you know that we made it home alive.

We wondered how well our kids would do on the trip and were quite surprised (and thankful) at how well the whole thing went. We broke the driving into small chunks of time (two hours on average) and would stop to get out and stretch our legs, have a bathroom break, grab a meal, etc. While in the van we had books, snacks and the almighty DVD player.

Read the rest of this entry

I come from a family background that (could probably get me a guest spot on Oprah, and) is a little bit complicated. My Dad has been married four (!) times and had children with the first three of his wives. I have eight (!) siblings, only one of whom shares the same mother with me. That sister is two years younger than I am.

The first (older) set of my Dad’s kids grew up across the country but we’ve had our chances to connect over the years. The youngest set of siblings I am especially close to as I moved in with my Dad when the first of their babies was but a toddler and my Step Mom was pregnant with the second one.

Read the rest of this entry

My husband and I have three small children and while they are wonderful and amazing in all of their mind-blowing awesomeness, they can put a little damper of the romance. It’s kind of hard to be all sexy and seductive when you are wiping bums and yelling at the kids to STOP FIGHTING ALREADY.

My husband and I have been huge proponents of regular Date Nights in order to (keep our sanity, and) have time to reconnect. Sometimes having a night out is not in the cards (or the budget), but there are other ways to keep your relationship from drowning in the current of Life With Kids.

This article from CNN lists a number of ideas, and we practice many of them into our daily lives.

• Implement early bedtimes. I know some people who have young children that stay up until nine or ten every night. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Our kids are in bed at eight. No ifs ands or buts. Then it’s our time.
• Share the load. Those who know me know that my husband more than shares the load. But when the kids are in bed, we work together to deal with laundry, make school lunches, get organized for the next day. There may or may not be butt pinching involved.
• 
  Read the rest of this entry