Viewing category ‘commitment’

Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

5 ways to your man’s heart

Categories: commitment, marriage

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I am a firm believer in learning the love language of your spouse, and for him to learn yours. My husband and I have similar — and different — love languages. Knowing our differences has helped us communicate better and show each other love in the way we’re wired to receive it. That said, there are things that I do to show my husband love which has nothing to do with his love language.

1. Cook him a good dinner. I am a good cook, and am a food blogger. I love to cook and to bake and my husband loves to try new recipes and eat anything in the sweets department (chocolate is his favorite).


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Marriage is hard

Categories: commitment, marriage

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Matthew just brought these to me at work. Best! Husband! EVER!Anyone who knows me in real life, or who reads me here or on my personal site knows that I WON THE LOTTERY when it comes to husbands. He cooks (when he’s home before I am), he cleans (far more than I would ever think to), he deals with all of the kids’ extra-curricular activities (Jazz, and swimming, and soccer, oh my!) and, man. I’m forever grateful for all that he does on top of working his full-time job while I’m at my full-time job in a city twenty minutes away from our small town.


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Taking Gwyneth’s marriage advice

Categories: commitment, marriage

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She is so easily mockable, Miss Gwyneth, what with her GOOP advice. It’s hard to take parenting advice from someone who has a nanny/cook/personal trainer.

Especially when she says things like this:

“I have little kids in school. I want to maintain my marriage and my family, so I have to be here when he comes home.”


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Long-lasting marriages are a miracle

Categories: commitment, marriage

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Something I wore. My wedding dress. It's been nearly 12 years since I wore it, and I love it. It's been dry cleaned and put in a sealed box, but I'd like an excuse to bust it out. I've often thought that getting all of the girls to wear their weddiI often marvel at the fact that my husband is, well, my husband. I don’t get hit with that feeling as often as I did when we were first married, which was at least once a day. He is my HUSBAND. I am his WIFE. We are MARRIED. IS THIS REAL?

My friend Linda summed up what my husband and I have been discussing lately. We went from child-free, with promising careers and all of the free time we wanted to do whatever we wanted, to having three kids in less than four years and riding the waves of career changes, to where we are today. Three school-aged kids, my husband in a job he did not go to college for, and me dabbling in a creative side that I didn’t even know existed when we got married.


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Is your marriage ‘Good Enough’?

Categories: commitment, divorce, marriage

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A post I read yesterday at The Motherlode — ‘Is the ‘Good Enough’ Marriage Good For The Children‘ — grabbed my interest and also made me shake my head a little bit. The author refers to an article in The Atlantic where the author talks about how she may never find a husband.

She broke up with an “exceptional person, intelligent, good-looking, loyal, kind. My friends, many of whom were married or in marriage-track relationships, were bewildered. I was bewildered. To account for my behavior, all I had were two intangible yet undeniable convictions: something was missing; I wasn’t ready to settle down.”


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Why did you get married?

Categories: commitment, marriage

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It seems as though my last post struck a nerve with a few people, and it had nothing to do with why I appreciated the article I linked to. I am a huge proponent of marriage. I’m not saying that YOU need to be married, if you don’t want to be. I’m just saying that I love being married and I put the effort forth (as does my husband) to keep it fun and enjoyable and awesome. I am better for it, he is better for it, our kids are better for it. We have a very happy family unit.

Hence, why I write this column. To encourage and support and provide resources to support marriage and committed relationships.


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Marriage isn’t for everybody

Categories: commitment, marriage

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Our fearless leader Nataly sent me the link to a Huffington Post article titled “On Second Thought, Don’t Get Married.” Being someone who believes wholeheartedly in marriage, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I started reading. The first two paragraphs had me wondering where the article was heading.

More than 2 million couples will get married in the United States this year alone. Several hundred thousand of these couples should reconsider, postpone their weddings or not get married.

Shocking new statistics released recently by the U.S. Census Bureau suggest that Americans may no longer need marriage. For the first time ever, fewer than half of the households in the United States are married couples. In the past decade, the number of unmarried couples increased 25 percent as more people chose to cohabitate. A Pew Research Center study last year put it more succinctly, finding an increasing number of Americans now believes marriage is “becoming obsolete.”


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Ten Reasons For Being Monogamous

Categories: commitment, marriage

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One of the toughest things about writing a marriage/relationship column is that there isn’t a lot of articles out there to support the idea of a committed relationship. If you want to find articles on cheating or divorce, there is a large supply of material. Yes, the divorce rate my hover at 50% but where are the stories about the other 50%? It’s probably the usual story of “happy” not making good content. Everyone wants DRAMA.


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Making marriage easier

Categories: commitment, marriage

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Please note that I do not profess to be a marriage expert in any way, shape or form. I have, however, been married for ten years and have been reading marriage articles (that I can find) for the almost two years (!) since starting to write this column. Marriage is hard work (I like to state the obvious) but it doesn’t have to be something that you endure. It should be something that you enjoy. You know, aside from the whole living with a boy thing.

Here are some things that come to mind when I think about how to make make marriage easier (Not easy, easier).

1. Make the commitment

A friend’s Mom once said to me, “Love is not merely a feeling. It’s a commitment.” My husband and I vowed “’til death us do part” which means that divorce is simply not an option. We are committed to make it to the end. We can either get there begrudgingly, or have fun along our journey. We choose the latter because the former sounds a little bit awful.

2. Pick your battles.

I know - we hear this all the time. I’m not talking about battles over who gets more time with their friends or who gets to buy the next “toy”. I’m talking about the little things. I’ve been part of conversations where women are griping about toothpaste lids and how the toilet paper is hung and about how the dishwasher is loaded. While these are surely life-pressing issues (/sarcasm) are they really worth getting into a fight about? A spouse who perpetually puts car keys where you can’t find them, however, is a whole ‘nother story. I kid! Maybe.

3. Put your spouse first.

Women’s lib, women rule, blah, blah, blah. This point goes both ways. If you love someone, you want to make them happy and so you do little (and big) things that make them smile and brighten their day. I’ve found that in all of my relationships (marriage, kids, friends, etc.) that the more I pour out, the happier I am and the more that comes back to me. Everybody’s happy.

4. Make the best of it

Before I was married I had a number of different roommates and while the situation always started out great, we eventually moved on for a number of different reasons. But your spouse is not simply a roommate; they are a life partner. You’ve made the commitment to make it to the end - why not have fun doing so? Be playful (water fight, anyone?), be flirty (I won’t share the dirty details) and just enjoy each other.

Do you guys have any tips that have worked for you to make your marriage easier?

Time for a marriage check-up

Categories: commitment, love, marriage

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I came across an Oprah.com article that was republished on on MSN.com titled, “Five-Point Marriage Check-Up“. I’m always looking for marriage topics for myself and to share here, and the title grabbed my attention. The five points she shared are ones that I’ve talked about and I thought it might be a good topic for today.

1. Stay Engaged Emotionally

This makes sense, of course. You got married for a reason; because you love each other and because you wanted to spend your life with this person. The busy-ness of life can get in the way far too easily - you need to make sure that you stay connected emotionally. (Date night!)


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