MSN.com posted an article that was originally in Oprah’s “O” magazine, written by Rita Wilson (wife of one Tom Hanks, in case you were not aware). In the article she talks about a time when they were riding in the car the her parents and the question, “Would you marry the same person again?” came up. One of her parents threw out a “Not me!”

It’s a good article that got me thinking. We’re coming up on our ten year anniversary and the question “If you knew at 25 what you know today about your spouse, would you still marry the same person?” made me think I should address it.

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Nataly forwarded me this article from the Washington Street Journal titled, “For Better or Worse, Fewer Couples Tie the Knot.” The gist of the article is that fewer people are getting married because they either are afraid that they will soon receive a pink slip or they simply cannot afford the whole cermony/reception side of things.

The article states that the average cost of a wedding these days is $16,000. That’s the average. I don’t doubt that it’s true. My husband’s uncle got married in California over fifteen years ago and her family spent $25,000 on the wedding. I’m not even kidding.

When my college roommate got engaged, her parents gave her a choice. She could have a big wedding with all of the trimmings, or she could have a tine wedding limited to family members only and have a huge down payment on a house. She opted for the smaller wedding but called me the week before crying because she wished I could have been there. Had I not been a starving student at the time, I would have booked a ticket and crashed her wedding.

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The length of time (or lack thereof) that people date before getting married seems to be a hot topic this week. I read a post over at Heidikins that talked about it and then read a post on Yahoo! Shine titled, “Is One Month Into Dating Too Soon To Get Hitched?”

I have mentioned our personal story before but am too (lazy, and) busy to read through the past year (WHAT?) of my posts here to link to them.

Long story short: We had our first date on November 30th. We got engaged December 30th (Same year). We got married less than five months later, on May 20th.

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After reading through the comments on my last post, I don’t think that another “commitment-related” post is in order. I feel like it is time for me to set the record straight on this here column of mine.

I am not a marriage expert in any way, shape or form. Obviously. When the idea to write this column was presented to me, it was because I had “one of the happiest marriages on the Internet.” That made me laugh but in reality, it is kind of true. I love my husband and he loves me. We are inherently compatible. We don’t fight very often, we build each other up instead of tearing each other down, we have fun and we laugh. A lot.

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Sometimes marriage isn’t easy.

Sometimes you mention that you “feel bloated” and your husband confirms that, indeed, you look bloated.

Sometimes you get tired of seeing him place his dirty dishes on top of the dishwasher (instead of inside the dishwasher).

Sometimes he gets tired of the amount of clothes that you pile on that chair in your room (instead of either hanging them up or putting them in the laundry basket).

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Movies and romance novels will have you believe that Love Conquers All. If you meet your “Soul Mate” you will hear birds singing and rainbows will appear in the sky. You will hold hands and walk off into the sunset, destined to live happily ever after.

The reality is never quite the fairy tale that it is made out to be, regardless of how compatible you are.

A quote that was said to me back when I was a teenager has stuck with me ever since. I don’t think that the truth of it will ever fade:

Love is not just a feeling; it is a commitment.

I was sent the link to an article titled, “Love Not Enough To Make Marriage Work.”

Factors that affect marriage include age, children, finances and a host of other items. That feeling of love is simply not enough to make a marriage last. Or so the case seems to be.

I don’t know if I have mentioned it on this site before, but the first time that I had sex with my husband was…on our wedding night. Call me naive or old-school or archaic or whatnot, but we both share a faith that encourages you to wait until you are married in order to engage in “relations.”

Thanks to a quick run to the drugstore by a good friend of mine on the morning of my wedding to procure, um, a certain substance, our wedding night was pretty fantastic. As have been every marital encounter since then.

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I distinctly remember the first year of marriage in which I would often glance at my husband and be stopped in my tracks.

I am married. I have a husband. I am a WIFE.

Whoa.

Over the years those (near daily) moments became fewer and further between. The more common moments of revelation seem to be when I am driving my kids around. I will look in the rear-view mirror and see these three insanely unique human beings and be smacked in the face with their sheer awesomeness.

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A few weeks ago I emailed a friend to thank her for a professional opportunity she had set me up with. In the midst of our email exchange, she told me that she and her husband had recently separated. I did not know exactly what to say, so I said what came naturally.

I’m sorry.

She wrote back to thank me for saying the perfect thing. So many people had asked her, “What went wrong?” or “What happens now?” All I could think to say was that I was sorry, and she appreciated it.

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Yesterday afternoon I stumbled across this article (from MSN.com) that stated Chris Brown had pled guilty to assault. I don’t generally watch a lot of television or submerse myself in gossip magazines, but this whole situation has been very prominent in the news ever since the incident happened.

The thing is, I have never experienced abuse. My parents have flaws, yes, but they never once laid a hand on me or subjected me to mental terror. I married a man who in nine years of marriage has never (NEVER) said anything derogatory, condescending, or hurtful to me. He is my biggest supporter, my source of encouragement, my number one fan.

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