Years ago, when The Bachelor first aired, my husband and I were huge fans. The whole premise was a little bit crazy and a little bit awesome and we were hooked. As the years have passed we fell out of watching The Bachelor because we matured and could not bear to subject ourselves to such trivial matters.

Ha!

The truth of the matter is that we had three kids in a four-year span. Throw in work and other commitments and T.V. took a backseat to this thing called life. In the past few weeks we have found ourselves with nothing on the DVR and have been sucked in to The Bachelor like the stereotypical moths to the flame.

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I came across an article over at Yahoo! Shine titled, “5 Secrets For A Happy Marriage” and I agreed with every single point listed. There is no “magic formula” to making a marriage work; it takes commitment and a bit of common sense.

1. Respect. Absolutely. While I may make jokes about things my husband does, they are always with his knowledge and are something that we both laugh at. I refuse to treat him disrespectfully, either online or offline.

2. Courtesy. My husband and I, in almost ten years of marriage, have never called each other names in a disagreement (Or, ever). We might say something like, “What you did hurt my feelings,” but would never say, “You’re a stupid jerk.” Statement number two is neither courteous, nor conducive to a resolution.

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I read an article over at the NY Times parenting blog Motherhood which was titled, “Fixing an Unbroken Marriage.” This quote struck me: “Do you fear the snakes in your own marriage? Are you clearer about your job as a parent than your job as a spouse?”

My husband and I try to make a point of having a regular Date Night. “Try” is the operative word here. My twenty-year-old brother lives with us (It’s awesome. Really.) and part of the “room and board” deal includes him babysitting for us on a regular basis. Dude done got himself a girlfriend who went off to University, which means that he’s been traveling a lot to see her.

This means that Date Nights have been few and far between.

We’ve finally realized that a Plan B is in order and have rounded up a few great babysitters. I’m returning to an office job full-time in January and we’ve been invited to attend the Christmas party. Tonight. We’re going to get all gussied up, have a fancy night out, and have a half an hour each way in the vehicle to just talk.

We need the time as just the two of us in order to have a better marriage. Always and forever.

How about you? Do you need to fix your (unbroken) marriage?

MSN.com posted an article that was originally in Oprah’s “O” magazine, written by Rita Wilson (wife of one Tom Hanks, in case you were not aware). In the article she talks about a time when they were riding in the car the her parents and the question, “Would you marry the same person again?” came up. One of her parents threw out a “Not me!”

It’s a good article that got me thinking. We’re coming up on our ten year anniversary and the question “If you knew at 25 what you know today about your spouse, would you still marry the same person?” made me think I should address it.

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Nataly forwarded me this article from the Washington Street Journal titled, “For Better or Worse, Fewer Couples Tie the Knot.” The gist of the article is that fewer people are getting married because they either are afraid that they will soon receive a pink slip or they simply cannot afford the whole cermony/reception side of things.

The article states that the average cost of a wedding these days is $16,000. That’s the average. I don’t doubt that it’s true. My husband’s uncle got married in California over fifteen years ago and her family spent $25,000 on the wedding. I’m not even kidding.

When my college roommate got engaged, her parents gave her a choice. She could have a big wedding with all of the trimmings, or she could have a tine wedding limited to family members only and have a huge down payment on a house. She opted for the smaller wedding but called me the week before crying because she wished I could have been there. Had I not been a starving student at the time, I would have booked a ticket and crashed her wedding.

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The length of time (or lack thereof) that people date before getting married seems to be a hot topic this week. I read a post over at Heidikins that talked about it and then read a post on Yahoo! Shine titled, “Is One Month Into Dating Too Soon To Get Hitched?”

I have mentioned our personal story before but am too (lazy, and) busy to read through the past year (WHAT?) of my posts here to link to them.

Long story short: We had our first date on November 30th. We got engaged December 30th (Same year). We got married less than five months later, on May 20th.

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After reading through the comments on my last post, I don’t think that another “commitment-related” post is in order. I feel like it is time for me to set the record straight on this here column of mine.

I am not a marriage expert in any way, shape or form. Obviously. When the idea to write this column was presented to me, it was because I had “one of the happiest marriages on the Internet.” That made me laugh but in reality, it is kind of true. I love my husband and he loves me. We are inherently compatible. We don’t fight very often, we build each other up instead of tearing each other down, we have fun and we laugh. A lot.

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Sometimes marriage isn’t easy.

Sometimes you mention that you “feel bloated” and your husband confirms that, indeed, you look bloated.

Sometimes you get tired of seeing him place his dirty dishes on top of the dishwasher (instead of inside the dishwasher).

Sometimes he gets tired of the amount of clothes that you pile on that chair in your room (instead of either hanging them up or putting them in the laundry basket).

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Movies and romance novels will have you believe that Love Conquers All. If you meet your “Soul Mate” you will hear birds singing and rainbows will appear in the sky. You will hold hands and walk off into the sunset, destined to live happily ever after.

The reality is never quite the fairy tale that it is made out to be, regardless of how compatible you are.

A quote that was said to me back when I was a teenager has stuck with me ever since. I don’t think that the truth of it will ever fade:

Love is not just a feeling; it is a commitment.

I was sent the link to an article titled, “Love Not Enough To Make Marriage Work.”

Factors that affect marriage include age, children, finances and a host of other items. That feeling of love is simply not enough to make a marriage last. Or so the case seems to be.

I don’t know if I have mentioned it on this site before, but the first time that I had sex with my husband was…on our wedding night. Call me naive or old-school or archaic or whatnot, but we both share a faith that encourages you to wait until you are married in order to engage in “relations.”

Thanks to a quick run to the drugstore by a good friend of mine on the morning of my wedding to procure, um, a certain substance, our wedding night was pretty fantastic. As have been every marital encounter since then.

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