I’ve always gotten along well with people of the male variety. Men are less complicated than women (usually). You throw in a hockey obsession and it’s always been easy to be friends with the male variety.

After we got married, my husband and I moved to a small town that is a four-hour drive from the guy friends I (we) had. Friends that I had known in college and in my big city life faded into the background, except for the occasional FB status update. If we lived in the same town, I’m sure there would be get-togethers or the occasional coffee to catch up with each other. Male friends (who are not ex-boyfriends) that got grandfathered into our relationship are a non-issue, as my husband considers them friends as well.

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My oldest child is in fourth grade, and this has been the year where he branched out from his usual posse of BOYS to have a posse that includes boys and … GIRLS. He’s asked a number of times if that was ‘weird’ or ‘okay’ and I assured him that having girl friends doesn’t mean that they are your girlfriends. I told him that I had/have a lot of guy friends and that Dad had/has a lot of girl friends.

Granted, most of my current guy friends are husbands of my girl friends, and it’s not like we go out to movies or hang out without our respective spouses all together. My husband works with a bunch of women and while they are friends and get along famously, it’s not like they call each other to just chat or go out for dinner or anything. While some people may have friends like that, we just think that steps too close to a line that could get you into trouble.

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It’s my birthday today (Yay!) and I am all about celebrating my birthday. (My age, not so much.) There are plans for a nice dinner out tonight with my husband and two of our best friends. Tomorrow night will see a dozen or so of my best girls descending upon my house with wine and appetizers, for a great night of wine tasting and talking and gut-busting laughter.

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I was chatting with an acquaintance who works at a local store and we got to talking about the holidays and what we’ve been up to. She mentioned that she’d gone out to dinner with friends the night before and had stayed out way to late talking and was tired. Then she joked that she felt a bit weird because she was the only single girl at a table with three couples. I assured her that if they were good friends, nobody else probably even noticed.

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Or so this Globe and Mail article says: Wives who are ‘just one of the guys’ may contribute to erectile dysfunction: study

The study they refer to has even coined a term to describe it — ‘partner betweenness’.

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There seems to be a bit of a backlash against women who say that their spouse is their Best Friend.

It’s not healthy.

You need to have a best friend who is not your husband.

Calling your spouse your best friend means that you can’t make friends of your own.

I call B.S.

This is not because I do not have great girlfriends, no. I have a small group of friends who I refer to as my “besties.” They are smart and they are funny and they are open and they are honest and we speak freely and we share our struggles and they are all that a woman could ask for in a friend, amen.

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You’re sitting there reading these words I have typed, so I think that it’s safe to assume that you joy reading blogs, whether they be the ones here at Work It! Mom or elsewhere. I am sitting here typing this post and have been doing so in this space for two years now (and at my personal site for over five years), so it’s pretty obvious that I like blogging.

My husband is not a reader of blogs, unless he’s searching for some hunting/fishing tips and stumbles across them via Google. He only reads my site if I make him (which I do). He didn’t really “get” why I liked it at first and while it’s still a bit of a mystery to him, he supports me in doing what I love.

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I’m back working in an office that I’ve floated in and out of for the past nine years. The senior staff are pretty much the same group as what existed back when I first started. As such, we have a history and there are a few that I consider to be more than mere colleagues; they are friends.

One of these friends seemed a little quiet and “off” last week, so I asked if everything was OK. He told me that he’d talk to me in a bit. A few hours later he emailed me to say that I could come talk to him if I wanted to.

The details are no mine to share, but his marriage has fallen apart. It is done, done, done.

Hearing of any marriage ending makes me sad, but when it happens to someone I actually know my heart aches on their behalf. I want to do something but it has been my experience that there really is nothing I can do but listen. I have not walked the same path, so I have no advice to share and cannot commiserate about the heartache they are experiencing.

What I can do is just be there. To listen, to nod in sympathy, to just let them know that I am here whenever they need me.

I still feel so helpless, though. Any advice from those who have lived through it would be much appreciated.

This will probably come as no surprise to anyone who knows me even a little bit: I am a social being. I took one of those quizzes once and it told me that I was an introverted extrovert. That sums me up pretty perfectly. I do need my down time and feel the most balanced if I have quiet time to read and to write and to just recharge.

On the other hand, if I am at a social gathering  I become entirely energized and lose all track of time while I sit and chat with with friends of mine. I look forward to these times of connecting, so much so that I go on regular girls’ night and usually take a few solo trips a year to spend time with these people whom I hold close to my heart.

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When I returned from my trip to California I was refreshed, renewed, rejuvenated. Between work-related trips and fun-filled get-aways (such as the California one) I get the heck out of dodge a whole lot more than many Moms seem to do. And also, a whole lot more than my husband ever does.

My hubby, in all of his wonderfulness, takes care of our three kids on the many weekends that I go away with nary a complaint. OK, fine. He teases me a bit. My response upon returning from California was that he needed to book a trip. Correction. He was ORDERED to take a trip.

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