Mother’s Day can be a hard day for many women, for many different reasons. It’s an awkward one for me, because I’ve been estranged from my own mother for three years now. She is an alcoholic, though that’s not why we don’t talk anymore. Three years ago, in our weekly phone chat, she tore into me for three hours while I tried to talk through what she was lobbing at me. It all boils down to the fact that she’s not happy with her own life, because she was angry at me for being happily married and about my “perfect fucking children.”

I forgave her immediately, because forgiveness means that you are free from the anger and the hatred. It’s not about the offender; it’s about you. I have reached out a few times via phone and Facebook, but she’s yet to respond. It’s okay, really. Because I’ve forgiven her and let it go, I will go weeks without even thinking about her. That may sound heartless, but it’s exactly the opposite. She made it clear that she hates me for being happy, and I made peace with the fact that she simply doesn’t love me.

Well, maybe she does love me, but her actions make no sense to me. I have three children of my own and I would do anything — ANYTHING — for them. They are beautiful and they are intelligent and they are loving and they are amazing and they are my heart. I would never (ever ever) yell hatred at them or wish them anything but good things.

My experience with my Mom has made me a better Mother, I think. I want my kids to know how much they are loved, beyond a shadow of a doubt. I tell them that I love them, multiple times a day. I hug them as much as they’ll let me. I tell them that they can do anything that they put their minds to. I schlep them to dance and to youth group and to running races. I do my best to be the best Mom that they could ever have. Not a perfect Mom, no, but the best Mom for them.

Mother’s Day for me was about me a little bit — who doesn’t like the homemade crafts? — but it was also about them. We spent the afternoon enjoying the sunshine in our backyard and then we had an enjoyable (and hilarious) dinner out. I can’t believe that I have these three beautiful beings who I get to be a Mom to.

How was your Mother’s Day? Is it a hard day for you?

It’s Easter weekend, which I’m sure you’re all well aware of, and in addition to celebrating chocolate bunnies and Easter egg hunts, our family celebrates the traditional Easter holiday with Good Friday and Easter Sunday services. We also hold Easter dinner on the Sunday night, as many of our friends do, and the topic of what’s for dinner always comes up.

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My husband and I have been dreaming about getting away together, just the two of us. The last time we managed to do so was three years ago, when we went to Las Vegas for three nights. We’d love to go to Hawaii, as we’ve never been, and we have enough Alaska Airlines miles to get there for free.

Alas, the three children we’re raising aren’t old enough to be left alone and at this point in time there is nobody who can come and watch them for us for a week. I set that Hawaii dream on fire last night in a rare instance of facing reality (that’s usually my husband’s specialty.)

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It’s my birthday this coming Sunday (I’m turning thirty-something), and I make a pretty big deal about it. Tonight is a potluck girls’ night in at my house, which is always a lot of fun. Good food, great friends, and a lot of laughter. The kids have started working on cards and pictures for me and my eldest has offered to make me breakfast in bed on Sunday morning. My husband and I are going out for a nice dinner on Sunday night, without our kids, which is a great way to celebrate my birthday, and also a much-needed date night. We haven’t had one since long before Christmas, and we both can’t wait.

How do you celebrate your birthday?

The last time that my husband went away together without our kids was three years ago, to celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary. We went to Las Vegas — a first for both of us — and proceeded to gamble … for all of five minutes. It was an inexpensive retreat, we walked (and walked, and walked) and looked at the hotels and ate some great food and watched our first Cirque du Soleil show (O) and just enjoyed having some time, just the two of us.

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I don’t know about you guys, but my December went by in a bit of a blur. There was my kids’ school Christmas production, my husband’s work Christmas party, two different parties hosted by friends, and numerous other ‘extra’ activities connected to Christmas. Then there was Christmas Day, where we hosted a big feast. I love planning (and cooking) the big meal and I buzz around for days beforehand and the day of, and then when it’s over, I crash.

(Related: I spent the entire next day on the couch reading a book.)

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My husband and I arrived home from work yesterday — he at a renovating job, me at the local food bank — and sat down to see what we had on our respective agendas. Friday afternoon/evening is a birthday party/dinner for our nephew, Saturday afternoon/evening is preparing for and then attending a family Christmas event at the church my husband works at. Sunday morning is church (where he runs the children’s program), and Sunday afternoon he plans to go shopping for gifts for his staff members and volunteers.

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Buying Christmas gifts for my husband is never an easy task. He’s a handy guy who likes to renovate our house/build furniture, but in order to get him a tool he needs, he has to send me a link/tell his Dad to help me find it. The same goes for hunting gear - he knows what he wants/needs and I haven’t a CLUE. I did manage to come up with a few ideas that I think he’ll like/appreciate, and would love to hear some ideas from you guys. We’ve only got two weeks to get it together, folks.

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I remember decorating our family’s Christmas tree with my sister while the Wizard of Oz played on the television. My Mom didn’t seem to mind us taking the reins and we had so much fun doing it after my step father strung the lights. Pulling each ornament out of the box like a long lost friend and carefully placing it on the tree, throwing tinsel on the branches, spraying fake snow on the ends of the branches. (It was the eighties. Don’t judge.)

When I was single, I had a little tabletop tree that I would decorate and place on a counter in my apartment, and when I got married, my husband and I inherited a (really nice) artificial tree from his parents when they downsized to a smaller one. I decided on a theme that fit my house (country)(even though I hate country music) and proceeded to buy/make what I wanted to decorate the tree with. Every year when it’s time to decorate, I turn on the Christmas music, open up the boxes, and get lost in the fun of Christmasifying our home.

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Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, we’re heading full steam ahead to Christmas and other holidays. My kids have handed in their lists, and my husband and I have set a budget for their gifts and will soon get the ones we plan to give. As for gifts for each other, we’re doing things a little bit different this year.

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