We’re in the midst of Thanksgiving weekend and Christmas is mere weeks (weeks!) away. There is also Hannukah and other holidays that my family does not participate in, but which we respect your family’s right to. With all of these holidays crammed into such a short amount of time (weeks!), it means that you’re going to be spending at least one dinner with extended family. You might even be trekking for many miles with cranky children, only to have horrible sleeps on spring-loaded hide-a-bed mattresses, and then trying to smile nicely when your husband’s mother asks you if you’re taking a break from working out, because your face seems a bit ‘puffy.’

Never fear! I have five tips to help you survive the holidays with your in-laws, be they the woman who birthed your husband, or creepy/drunk Uncle Ted.

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The holiday season is fast approaching (I’m sorry for the reminder) and with it comes the big family dinners for Thanksgiving and Christmas. My side of the family is spread across the country, but my husband’s parents and siblings (and their kids) all either live here, or are a few hours away. We aim to get us all together for Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and usually hit two out of the three each year.

We used to converge on my in-laws house for the dinners, but then they moved away for a few years and I discovered that I love to host dinner parties. Love, love, love it. I spend a good three days preparing, between planning the meal, getting the food, and prepping as much as I can in advance of the dinner. I’ve got it down to a (crazy, hectic) science in that once everything is done and we all sit down to eat, I am done. I enjoy my meal with everyone else and then my husband and the rest of the family cleans up the mess and I relax with a glass of wine.

Who hosts the family dinners in your family?

A friend and I were chatting over lunch about wanting/needing a weekend away with our respective husbands. She commented that it had been far too long since they went away together — it’s been almost a year. They have a great support system and a lot of family nearby, which means that they can leave their kids in good hands and enjoy time away together.

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I am not Jewish, but have made some great Jewish friends through this community I’ve found on the Internet. I’ve learned a lot about their customs, their holidays, and the reasons behind them. I’ve also learned that Passover and Easter have landed on the same weekend this year, which has made things tricky for friends who are of the Chrismukkah variety.

We are not Jewish, but are Christian (my husband is on staff at our church as the Director of Children and Families), and so this is a Very Big Weekend. There is a Friday night service (too late for kids, so my husband will attend), a Sunday sunrise service (maybe one day) and then the regular Sunday morning service.

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I saw the photo of a poster about the “Totally Overhyped New Year’s Party” shared on Facebook a number of times this week and it made me smirk. A lot of people (not friends of mine)(and probably just people in the movies) subscribe to that particular idea of a great! New Year’s Eve. It’s possible that people who aren’t in the movies think that is an amazing-sounding night, but they’re probably 21, with no kids in tow.

As for us? We make a bunch of appetizers, rent a good movie or two, and are in bed by ten, maybe eleven. Just like every other night (bedtime hour, not the appetizers and movie stuff). The last time I stayed up until midnight for the countdown to the new year was when the year changed from 1999 to 2000 and everyone thought the world d shut down. (Yes, I am old.) That was a few years before I even had kids, but I have never been a night owl. Going to sleep after midnight ruins me.

My kids are too young to stay up until midnight right now, so we watch the East cost feed and declare 9:00 the new midnight.

What do you do for New Year’s Eve?

As I wrote about last week, my husband and I exchange gifts on Christmas Eve after the kids are nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar-plums dance in their heads. (I couldn’t help it.)(Also: What are sugar-plums?)

In our early years of marriage, my husband and I would set a budget, so that we knew what we should aim for to be even and fair and all that nonsense. Yes, nonsense.

Christmas is about (Jesus, and) giving gifts that you know will make the receiver happy. We no longer have budgets and it is kind of freeing. I buy what I think will make my husband smile and he does the same. He often out-does me with the awesomeness of the gifts, but he’d tell you the same.

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We celebrate Christmas in our house, which means that there are advent calendars and Christmas concerts and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and baking and turkey dinner and a whole lot of wonder.

Some friends of ours have turkey dinner and open presents on Christmas Eve - it stems from their European heritage - and others open everything on Christmas Day. We give the kids one present on Christmas Eve, based on my husband’s and my parallel experiences growing up. The present is always (ALWAYS) new pajamas and I hope that tradition carries on to infinity. Wearing cozy new jammies while crawling into bed to wait for Christmas morning is a huge part of the Christmas magic for me.

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The holidays are upon us! (DUH.) With the holidays comes a whole lot of presents, whether you are giving or receiving. There are wish lists and Santa letters and hints from your spouse, oh my! Oh, and those stockings to fill.

I got stuck in the big city a month ago due to a collapsing overpass (yes, really) and spent my evening there starting our Christmas shopping. Two weeks ago, my husband spent a day in the big city crossing the rest of the items of of our shopping list. Nieces and nephews? Done! In-laws of all sorts? Done! Presents for ME? Done! Last weekend, I broke my eldest son out of school so that we could have some one-on-one time, and that included spending some time in the big city shopping for Christmas presents for his Dad.

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My husband and I established a tradition when our first child was here for his first Christmas. We went to evening service, we tucked him into bed, and then my husband and I sat on the couch to exchange presents. Wine was poured, Christmas music was playing, and we got to have a date night in. We’ve done this every year since. There is the comfort of routine and the quiet of the evening before Christmas morning hits. It is one of my most favorite nights of the year, if not THE most favorite night of the year.

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I read a great post by a friend of mine about how they work the holidays, with she being Jewish and her husband coming from a Protestant background. Their different faith traditions make it so that they don’t have to decide where to spend Christmas morning. It also means that they get to expose their kids to two different sets of beliefs, and to help them to understand why they celebrate what they celebrate.

My husband and I share the same faith (Christianity)(Of the the “Jesus loves you and so do I” variety, not the “I want to judge you” variety). Having the same faith as my husband is important to me because I love that we can discuss our common faith and debate it and figure out how to forge our path. He’s also on staff at our church as the Director of Children and Families and it would be a little odd if I didn’t share the same faith.

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