There are a number of things that are supposed to be the way to make your wife swoon. Flowers, chocolates, cleaning the house, cooking dinner (or taking her out for dinner), writing her notes, telling her nice things, and many others. Those are all fine and good, and they all make me feel loved (especially the nice words), but the one thing that is bound to make most women swoon is this:
Viewing category ‘love’
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
Once upon a time (seven years ago), my husband and I attended a marriage course once a week for six weeks. One of the weeks covered love languages and it was a great learning experience. People are wired with different “love languages”, which affects how they feel loved and how they show love. If your love language is, say, “gifts”, receiving presents makes you feel loved and you will tend to show love to others by giving them presents.
My husband and I share a bed — and a bedroom, obviously — but I’ve heard stories of couples who have their own rooms. Their own rooms! All to themselves! I suppose my husband and I do have our own rooms, in a sense. I have a craft room and he has his spousal avoidance center workshop, but when it comes time to go to sleep, we go to the same room and the same bed.
Our church is holding a marriage “course” over four consecutive Wednesdays that is about making sure that you make time to connect with your spouse. I went begrudgingly (I find it ironic that we’re so BUSY, yet they expect us to come for two hours per session), but it was a good evening. We watched some video clips, answered questionnaires, then compared the answers. Not surprisingly (to us), our responses were almost identical.
Yesterday morning my husband and I got our kids fed, dressed, and ready for school. They walked down to the road to catch the school bus and we loaded our ski gear into the truck and we headed to the local hill, just the two of us. We left the lake fog behind and spent the day under blue skies, basking in the sun. Getting our gear on was a breeze because we didn’t have to help three smaller people get their gear on (Or hear cries that ‘It doesn’t FEEL RIGHT) and getting our gear back off was just as easy.
My husband and I both have a case of the Januarys, coupled with fighting a cold (him) and battling PMS (me). We’re open about it and while it would be easy to just grumble and groan, we’ve made a plan to get us out of our funk.
We’re exactly one week away from Christmas (Don’t shoot the messenger!) and tensions seem to be running high not just for my husband and I, but for many of our friends. It’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but it seems to be turning into one big headache instead. Here are a few tips to stay connected with your other half during the holidays.
This past Sunday I watched my husband, in character as a street cleaner in Jerusalem, talking about Passover in a monologue/skit that he dreamed up and performed. He gets up in front of over 400 people every Sunday to do an object lesson (Sometimes it’s Coca-Cola and Mentos, sometimes there’s fire involved, you get the idea)(He surprises everyone every week). I feel like he surprises me the most every week, because he never tells me what tricks he has up his sleeve ahead of me watching with everyone else. I’ve been married to him for almost twelve years and the young punk I married would not be standing up there, so comfortable in his skin and his role and doing the crazy things he does.
As we all know, Valentine’s Day (or Love Day, for the old school Simpsons fans) is next week. The merchandise has been out since the day after Christmas and it’s all you hear about on t.v. or online. Gift guides and date ideas and giveaways, oh my!
I’ve mentioned before that my husband and I don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day. It started out because we didn’t want to buy into the commercialism, and we went on regular date nights as it was. There has been the occasional Valentine’s Day where we’ve surprised the other with something, but we usually have the “We’re not buying presents, RIGHT?” conversation and we both stick to it. Usually.
My husband and I always knew that we wanted to have kids, even before we were married. We were married on May 20, 2000, and spent the next year working and saving so that we could move away from the Big City and buy a house in a small community in farm country.
I started pestering him about trying for our first baby about six months after we moved and after giving me reasons why we should wait, about six months later he agreed that we should start trying. A miscarriage happened, first, but we gave birth to our first boy at the end of December, 2002.