I don’t have a long dating history from before I met my husband. It’s not that I didn’t date, but I was one of those girls who went for relationships of the long-term variety. For the most part.

I spent over two years dating someone during my senior high years who was three years older than me. “Dating” seems like such a trivial word, considering that I had a promise ring. Do you remember those? Seventeen-year-old me wore it with pride. It now rattles around in the bottom of my jewelry box.

The next serious relationship I had was with a guy who was five years older than me. Five years older than me.  I come from a small town and, well, it seemed that the older guys were always the ones who my friends and I dated. They were so “mature.” I put that in quotes because in hindsight it is nothing but hilarious.

Read the rest of this entry

I read an article over at Yahoo! Shine titled, “How did you know you loved him/her?” The author talks about the kind of love that she shares with her significant other; the kind of love where they love you for who you are and not for who you were or who you could be.

I stopped to think about when I first knew I loved my husband. I’ve mentioned many times over that the time span between our first date and getting engaged was one month. Yes, you read that right.

I obviously love him far differently now, after nearly ten years of marriage, than I loved him in the beginning. The love we have now still has those moments of butterflies but the bulk of it is that comfort and security that comes from a long history together. We’ve worked hard to get to where we are today and have that cozy kind of love.

Read the rest of this entry

A college friend of mine called over the weekend and it was great to get caught up on each others’ lives and families. She brought her husband and three kids out here last summer and while six kids under the age of six in one house was, shall we say, chaotic, our families had a great time together.

I hung up the phone and relayed bits and pieces of the conversation to my husband. In the midst of my (compelling, I’m sure) recap I remembered a tidbit about my friend and her husband that had always struck me as interesting. Not interesting in a bad way, but interesting in a “I don’t know how they did it” way.

Read the rest of this entry

I have mentioned more than a few times that my husband and I do not fight very often. By “not very often” I mean, “I can’t remember the last time we truly fought.” We disagree, debate and discuss but it so rarely turns into a Really Big Deal. Part of it is due to the fact that we are inherently compatible, part of it is due to the fact that he is a quiet, calming force in stark contrast to my high-energy nature, and part of it is due to the fact that I am a smidgen on the conniving side.

That’s right. I plot and I ploy and I scheme. It’s all for the greater good. For the most part. Let me explain.

My husband (never reads these posts which means I can confess this, and) is great and wonderful and truly a far better parent than I will ever be. I have just learned that timing is everything when it comes to bringing up certain topics.

Read the rest of this entry

The length of time (or lack thereof) that people date before getting married seems to be a hot topic this week. I read a post over at Heidikins that talked about it and then read a post on Yahoo! Shine titled, “Is One Month Into Dating Too Soon To Get Hitched?”

I have mentioned our personal story before but am too (lazy, and) busy to read through the past year (WHAT?) of my posts here to link to them.

Long story short: We had our first date on November 30th. We got engaged December 30th (Same year). We got married less than five months later, on May 20th.

Read the rest of this entry

I ran across an article over at Yahoo! Shine titled, “What’s the WORST relationship advice you’ve ever received and who did it come from?” Before I even read the article a few pieces of advice came to mind that were given to me repeatedly when I was single but did not hold true for me.

The first piece of advice that popped into my head was, “Date for at least a year before you get married.” I’ve mentioned it a few times over here, but we started dating in November, got engaged a month later and then got married the next May. We’re in our tenth year, so I think we proved that one wrong.

Read the rest of this entry

I read an article over on Shine titled, “How do you say, “I love you?” The premise of the article is about finding ways to express love to your significant other beyond merely stating those three little words.

Many moons ago I posted about figuring out what your spouses “Love Language” is. There is a thirty-second quiz you can take to determine if you feel loved by receiving gifts, hearing kind words, etc.

Read the rest of this entry

My husband and I have three small children and while they are wonderful and amazing in all of their mind-blowing awesomeness, they can put a little damper of the romance. It’s kind of hard to be all sexy and seductive when you are wiping bums and yelling at the kids to STOP FIGHTING ALREADY.

My husband and I have been huge proponents of regular Date Nights in order to (keep our sanity, and) have time to reconnect. Sometimes having a night out is not in the cards (or the budget), but there are other ways to keep your relationship from drowning in the current of Life With Kids.

This article from CNN lists a number of ideas, and we practice many of them into our daily lives.

• Implement early bedtimes. I know some people who have young children that stay up until nine or ten every night. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Our kids are in bed at eight. No ifs ands or buts. Then it’s our time.
• Share the load. Those who know me know that my husband more than shares the load. But when the kids are in bed, we work together to deal with laundry, make school lunches, get organized for the next day. There may or may not be butt pinching involved.
• 
  Read the rest of this entry

I can’t believe that I’ve been writing about marriage here for eight months or so (Because I’m such an expert. Ha!) and have never addressed the topic of soul mates.

There is often talk of people meeting “The One.” They believe that there is only one person on the entire planet Earth who is meant for them and when they find THAT ONE, then everything is all sunshine and roses. Or something like that.

Do I personally believe in soul mates? Not at all.

Read the rest of this entry

I know that my column is supposed to be about marriage and relationships. I try to think of life lessons that my husband and I have learned and share them here. We are in no way experts but have been married for nine years now, with the aim to make it to forever.

When I sat down to write my post for today I pondered what had happened with us this week that I could write about and one word came to mind:

PMS

Read the rest of this entry