Viewing category ‘marriage’

Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

Why You Should Get Away Without Your Kids

Categories: children, marriage

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I’m married to this guy that I like a whole lot, and he likes me too. We made three amazing kids together and we love to spend time together, just the five of us. We love to ski — we put all five of us in lessons two years ago — and spend our winters carving through fresh powder.

Last summer, our dream came true and we found ourselves owning a cabin at the hill we ski at. A few weeks ago, my brother offered to stay at our house with our kids so that my husband and I could spend two days and one night at our cabin, sans kids. It was just the two of us, without any little people needing anything.

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Explaining Divorce To Your Kids

Categories: divorce, marriage

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My husband and I aren’t divorced — and never plan to divorce — but as my kids are getting older, they’ve become more aware that not all marriages stay intact. My parents have both been married multiple times, and some of their friends have parents who now live in two houses.

There have been questions about why people get divorced and I don’t have much of an answer, because I don’t know the story. What I do tell them is that there are times when people decide that breaking up is better for them than staying together. This leads to them asking if their Dad and I will get a divorce, to which we reply with an emphatic no. We’re committed to forever, and continually work on our marriage to keep it vibrant and alive. We share the same faith, the same values, the same sense of humor, and the same fierce love of our kids and our family of five.

This is where I’d love to hear from those of you who have gone through a divorce. What do you tell your kids when they ask? And what do you feel is the best response that I can give my kids when they ask, so that they can be sensitive with their friends whose parents are divorcing?

Staying Connected With Your Spouse When Life Gets Busy

Categories: date night, marriage

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My life is busy — it’s always busy, hence the tagline on my personal site that Life Can Get Pretty Crazy Around Here. I have three kids and five jobs and many friends and too many obligations. I go through life propelling forward with my arms doing windmills, and that’s on a good day. These past few months saw me having extra work, which I needed to do in order to bank for the quiet (work) period from January through April.

I’ve pulled many long days and dropped many balls and have had to say no to many things that I would have loved to say yes too. There really are only so many hours in a day and I like to spend some of them with my family. I like to spend some of them sleeping, as well.
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Happy Marriage = Happy Kids

Categories: communication, family, marriage

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My parents divorced when I was three, and the memory of my Dad driving away is one of the earliest memories that I have. My parents have been divorced (and married) a few times each, for different reasons, and I pass no judgment on them for their choices. That said, as a child, I wished that we could all be together as a family and hated that my Dad lived in a town three hours away from ours. He got us for holidays and summer break and random weekends, but it wasn’t the same as having him a few minutes away.

When I was single and wondering who I would marry, I prayed that I would find a man who was in it for forever. I met that man, and we’re still together over thirteen years later. While we state that divorce isn’t an option, that doesn’t mean that we plan to suffer together until we die. Our kids make faces when we hug or kiss, but we know they love it. They also know that they’ll have the two of us, together, for the rest of their lives.

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Dealing With Money Issues

Categories: finances, marriage

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I am a frugal person. I really, truly am. I only buy what I need, when I need it. When I shop for clothes, it’s out of necessity. (But when I shop for clothes for my kids, all bets are off. YOU get a new wardrobe! YOU get a new wardrobe! YOU get a new wardrobe.)(In my defense, my kids seem to be taking Miracle Grow supplements behind my back.)

My husband is also frugal, but to the ninth degree. He comes from a Dutch background, and the Dutch are notorious for being cheap (Dutch date, anyone?).

This can cause some stress between us because he gets pinchy about finances and I’m baffled because it’s not like I’m racking up credit card debt or anything. There are some things I could be better about and there are some things that he could be more relaxed about, but we’ve managed to meet in the middle.

He’s also handed the banking reins back to me since I’ve returned to being self-employed, which has helped a lot. I’m an accountant, so numbers don’t faze me. Numbers aren’t his favorite, which only added to his stress. We’re in a much better place than we were a year ago.

How do you deal with money stress in your house?

5 ways to your man’s heart

Categories: commitment, marriage

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I am a firm believer in learning the love language of your spouse, and for him to learn yours. My husband and I have similar — and different — love languages. Knowing our differences has helped us communicate better and show each other love in the way we’re wired to receive it. That said, there are things that I do to show my husband love which has nothing to do with his love language.

1. Cook him a good dinner. I am a good cook, and am a food blogger. I love to cook and to bake and my husband loves to try new recipes and eat anything in the sweets department (chocolate is his favorite).

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BREAKING NEWS: Men are competent human beings

Categories: marriage

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I will often peruse other sites with relationship columns to see what people are talking about and it’s usually disheartening. If I were a single women reading all of those posts, I would deduce that all men are uncaring, incapable of cleaning anything, and can’t assist in helping to raise their own flesh and blood. I would then give up any dreams of meeting a good man and adopt five cats from the nearest animal shelter.

I get that headlines are what make people click through to read an article, but when I read titles about how a Dad cleaning the minivan is so HOT because it never happens, and how a Dad does the laundry it is a MIRACLE, and how when a Dad cooks a meal is is praise-worthy, I wonder what year we’re living in. It’s 2013, but you’d think it was 1953 based on the stuff being written.

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Five ways to woo your wife

Categories: marriage

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This is based on what woos me, of course, but I’m sure that some of you ladies will agree on at least a few of them.

1. Tell her she’s beautiful. See also: smart, sexy, hot, attractive, etc. You probably think it multiple times a day. Use your words and tell her.

2. Encourage her in every way. If she wants to pick up a new hobby or start a new venture, she needs you as her biggest cheerleader.
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How does your spouse inspire you?

Categories: marriage

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Last September, my husband and I enrolled our three kids in piano lessons. Neither of us could play the piano — though my husband is gifted in that he can sit down and tinker and it sounds pretty — but he’d taken one year of lessons back when he was five and that was it.

Once the kids were signed up, he said that he’s like to take lessons as well. They aren’t cheap, but he wanted to learn how to read and play music in addition to his random playing, and so he started taking weekly lessons as well. I told myself that I would learn from helping the kids practice, but without the weekly commitment to be at a lesson, I let my husband manage practice time.

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13 ways to stay married for 13 years

Categories: anniversary, marriage

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My husband and I celebrated thirteen years of marriage yesterday. We’re no experts, but here are a few things that have helped us get to here.

1. Always kiss goodbye.

2. Say I love you when you kiss goodbye, and also say it randomly.

3. Laugh together, often and much.

4. Talk about what is bugging you, before it festers and boils into something more than it needs to be.

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