Viewing category ‘sex’

Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

Do you sleep in separate bedrooms?

Categories: love, marriage, sex

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My husband and I share a bed — and a bedroom, obviously — but I’ve heard stories of couples who have their own rooms. Their own rooms! All to themselves! I suppose my husband and I do have our own rooms, in a sense. I have a craft room and he has his spousal avoidance center workshop, but when it comes time to go to sleep, we go to the same room and the same bed.


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15 ways to stay married

Categories: communication, marriage, sex

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A friend sent me a link to this Huffington Post article titled “15 Ways To Stay Married For 15 years” because she thought I might want to use it for this column. She was right. The author has some really practical tips for those who want a marriage that lasts.


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I Miss My Husband

Categories: love, marriage, sex

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I miss my husband.

He isn’t out of town, nor am I. But I miss him.

April is a month that pulls us apart. I’m working six (long) days a week, because I’m an accountant and it’s “tax season.” (I’m Canadian, so “tax season” lasts until April 30th. Usually. As April 30th is on a weekend, the deadline is extended until May 2nd. SHOOT ME NOW.) He’s the Director of Children & Families at our church and it’s the wind down to summer and there are events happening ALL OF THE TIME.


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Do you like surprises?

Categories: children, fitness, holidays, sex, wedding

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As I mentioned in my last post, my husband has planned an “early Christmas present” for me, happening this weekend. Well, not the whole weekend as the kids have activities on Saturday and we have church on Sunday (my husband is on staff). I do know that I’ve been excused from a work course on Monday morning but am not sure if that involves an overnight trip somewhere? Maybe? But it would be a quick trip, what with our Sunday and Monday committments.

I really have no idea.


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Why is talking about sex so taboo?

Categories: marriage, sex

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I am a married woman. I have been married for ten years (and four months!) and happen to like my husband. Not only do I like him, I love him. I also lust him and if you’ve paid attention to the photos I’ve posted here, it should be pretty clear as to why that is. He’s tall (6′2″), dark (skinned; dude turns a deep shade of brown in the summer) and handsome (muscular build and baby blues).

I don’t talk a lot about sex online or about our sex lives in general (other than that it happens many times a week). I don’t think that the intimate (Heh) details need to be shared online, nor do I need to read the details of anyone else’s sex lives. I mean, people do it, and I’m glad you’re happy but I don’t need to know the ins and outs, you know? (Hee.)

Here’s where I wonder why making innuendos about having sex with your husband are so shocking. I don’t talk about it a lot here, because the label causes many pre-conceived notions that make me cringe because I hate to be associated with labels that don’t apply to me.


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How NOT to spice up your relationship

Categories: marriage, sex

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I read an article over at Yahoo! Shine about how NOT to spice up your relationship that had me laugh out loud a number of times. A few of my favorite points:

Shower intercourse. Good luck finding — and maintaining — a position in the shower without getting a cramp, wiping out, or knocking the soap dispenser off the wall. As for finding a position that’s actually satisfying, for both of you? No chance. We say, enjoy some manual or oral sex in the shower and then move to the bed (or other sturdy object) for actual intercourse.

Licking your partner from head to toe. That’s a lot of acreage to cover with a tongue, and by the time you’re done you’ll feel like you just walked through the desert with no water. And your partner will start to feel chilly as all that saliva starts to evaporate. It’s even worse if your breath isn’t totally, perfectly fresh!

I usually ask you guys for feedback, but you really need to read the article for comedic effect. But if you have a tip to add about how to NOT spice up your relationship, fire away.

The REAL secret to a happy marriage

Categories: love, marriage, sex

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I wrote the other day that the secret to a happy marriage was…helping out around the house. While I do think that it is a huge part of the equation (Happy wife = happy life), I don’t think that the number one secret to a happy marriage is housework. It would be kind of sad if that were the case, don’t you think?

I think that there is something else that beats out everything else as the biggest key to a happy marriage: Have sex. Lots of it.

Oh, please. We’re married, people. We’re supposed to have sex.

Why am I talking about this today, despite having referenced things like “The sexperiment: Seven days of sex” in the past?

It’s because my husband and I haven’t had sex this week and I’ve noticed a difference in our relationship. The dry spell is not without reason (I’m “unclean”)(TMI, but true)(Pray for him; I get a tad “moody”) and so we haven’t had “sexy time” for a few days. This happens every month (obviously) and every month I notice that things aren’t quite right for the better part of a week. It’s not that we fight, it’s more like we don’t connect as easily when we’re communicating. We’re also not as affectionate as we usually are and just discussing every day things seems to take extra effort.

On the flip side, the rest of the month everything seems to be a smoother ride (Heh). We communicate better, we connect emotionally, we’re affectionate. It is good.

(Side note: When we were trying to get pregnant with each of our three kids and having sex EVERY DAY we were ridiculously affectionate and connected and schmoopy.)

So that’s where I’m at - I fully advocate having as much sex as you can in order to keep your marriage in balance. The newborn years are tough, I know, and at that stage in our life we were lucky to have sex once or twice a week. That’s assuming a small being didn’t wake up needing my boobs more that my husband did.

Now that our youngest is almost four (WHAT THE HECK?) we aim for every day but with our busy lives we end up making it happen about five days a week. Yes, really.

How about you? If you aren’t to shy to share…how often do you have sex?

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