My husband and I share a bed — and a bedroom, obviously — but I’ve heard stories of couples who have their own rooms. Their own rooms! All to themselves! I suppose my husband and I do have our own rooms, in a sense. I have a craft room and he has his spousal avoidance center workshop, but when it comes time to go to sleep, we go to the same room and the same bed.
Viewing category ‘sex’
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
I don’t talk about sex, much, in this column, other than to say that my husband and I have it. Regularly. We have three kids, I have been pregnant four times (I miscarried my first baby), so I think it’s pretty safe to assume that all of the babies came to be because of us having sex.
(I’m pretty sure that my children will choose to believe that my husband and I have only had sex four times, despite the innuendos that their Dad likes to throw out to make me laugh and them cringe.)
I’m a huge proponent of having sex with your spouse as often as you can make it work. We average about 4-5 times a week, now that our kids are school-aged and no longer waking up in the night. We make “alone time” a priority because 1. We enjoy it, and 2. Our physical connection supports our emotional connection and makes us feel closer. I am hardly an expert, though, which is why I’m going to point you toward some research and statistics.
A reader sent me the link to this article: Jazz up your sex life - go on vacation
Specifically, 69 percent of men and 72 percent of women between 18 and 49 say sex on vacation is better than sex at home.
It makes sense to me. When you’re on vacation, you’re away from the usual routine of bills and laundry and chores work and all the things you do in a day to keep your life running. When you’re on vacation, your biggest worries are whether you’ve put on enough sunscreen and what you should pick to eat from the buffet.
In line with my last post about having a “healthy” sex life, I learned about the Lifetime show called 7 days of sex. I’ve written about previous ’seven days of sex’ and ‘30 days of sex’ challenges, but this is a new spin on it. This is a T.V. show that is chronicling real-life couples who are having sex for one week straight with the hope of saving their marriage.
30 days is a little bit over the top many and also for us (except for when we were wanting to be pregnant), but for those who are feeling disconnected and struggling, seven days straight is totally doable. (Heh.)
Would you, could you, take the ’seven days of sex’ challenge?
I don’t know what constitutes a “healthy” sex life, exactly, but I have to guess that it constitutes actually having sex. As I mentioned last week, my husband attended a conference in Atlanta. One of the sessions he attended was about marriage and there were some statistics that shocked him a little bit. There are people our age (mid-thirties) who are married and don’t have sex. Ever.
When I first started hearing about 50 Shades of Grey, my interest was piqued. People were reading it, and talking about how hot it was. I thought it might be a book (or series) to check out once I made it to the end of April, for “research purposes”, of course. (I’m an accountant by day; there is no free time in tax season for reading.)
As the weeks wore on, however, all I heard was how horrible the writing was. People who hopped on the bandwagon quickly jumped off of it, and then everyone’s been linking to the 50 Shades of Suck tumblr blog. There is also the issue of how the “heroine” is (abused, and) portrayed.
You have probably seen that “first kiss” video online but if you haven’t, here you go.
While my husband and I didn’t have “special time” until we were married, kissing happened long before that date. I have no idea how you could not kiss, but that video reminded me of a couple who had made the same “no kissing” vow, but would nuzzle and kiss cheeks and make me wonder WHAT THE DIFFERENCE WAS. I’d prefer if they’d just given a quick kiss rather than subjecting me to all of their pent-up frustrations.
So says Dr. Oz and his wife in this interview that they did with Shape magazine.
“My prescription for sex…” Dr. Oz begins, “…is to have it as often as possible!” finishes Lisa, laughing. The Ozes strongly believe in keeping the home fires burning brightly. In fact, says Lisa, “that’s a perfect metaphor. It’s much harder to reignite a flame once it’s dead. You have to make intimacy a regular part of your life.” So how often does the doctor recommend a couple get busy? “Two to three times a week,” he says. (Lisa says six, but who’s counting?) Besides the pleasure factor, says Dr. Oz, “sex helps you live longer. It’s been scientifically proven that twice a week equals three more years of life.”