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Committed: The Ties that Bond

with Angella Dykstra

I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.

Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.

Date nights have a lot of value

Categories: Uncategorized, communication, dating, marriage


I’m a huge proponent of date nights (as you all know) because it is far too easy to get caught up in your daily lives that are full of work and routine and activities and kids and stuff. A reader of mine sent me the link to The National Marriage Project and their report called The Date Night Opportunity.

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Do you get along with your in-laws?

Categories: Uncategorized, holidays, marriage


It’s Thanksgiving up in Canada and that means there will be a big family dinner. Siblings and cousins and (DUN DUN DUN) in-laws. (My side of the family lives far away, so they rarely come for holidays.)

We get along well with my in-laws. We don’t see them much during our every day lives but when we get together for major holidays we have great visits. I love that my husband and his siblings get along so well and that us spouses do, too. The (eight) cousins from our three families are all close in age and have a whole lot of fun together.

There is dinner and dessert and playing and a whole lot of awesome.

(There have been glitches, yes, but nothing insurmountable.)

How about you? Do you get along with your in-laws?

Let’s talk about PMS

Categories: Uncategorized


The California Milk Processor Board (they of the “Got Milk” campaign) have come out with a new campaign. There is research that points to calcium reducing the effects of PMS and so the Board ran with it.

They even created a tongue-in-cheek website:

Yes. Yes, they did.

You know what? Good for them.

I have seen a lot of uproar over this. “That is so wrong!” “How dare they?!?” “*eyeroll*”

Ladies. Let’s be honest here. PMS is a reality for a lot of us. Do I get a little bit peeved when my husband pins my emotional breakdown on the calendar in order to explain it? Yes. Because he NAILED IT. (Pun intended.) I also have the “pleasure” of enduring (prescription painkiller fighting) cramps to boot. I know PMS.

Hormones are a crazy beast. They mess with us when we have our cycle, they mess with us after we give birth, they mess with us ALL OF THE DAMN TIME.

It is completely PC to mock and ridicule men. How many sitcoms have you watched where the Dad is portrayed as a bumbling idiot? Commercials do the same. For the most part, men are show to be idiots, incapable of parenting or renovating or cooking or, heck, changing the toilet paper. It may or may not be applicable to the man in your life but regardless, we can crack jokes and make snide comments and everybody laughs.

I laughed at the above ad campaign for one reason: It’s funny because it’s true.

It may not be true for you (like the majority of men jokes aren’t true for me - my husband cleans/cooks/everything more than a lot of men) but there is a day or two every twenty-eight to thirty-five days (I’ve never been regular)(TMI) where my usual “people pleaser” personality morphs into something more akin to “Don’t make me cut you.”

It is completely out of my control and quite hilarious (the next week). If I can’t laugh at it I’d totally cry and, well, I usually do a lot of crying while in the throes of PMS.

Are you offended by the ad? Or did you laugh at it? (Maybe don’t answer this if you’re PMS-ing)(Just saying.)

Are there different “levels” of affairs?

Categories: Uncategorized, divorce, marriage


Emma Waverman wrote a post asking, “Would you stick around after an affair?” I’ve asked the question here before, and I think it’s a good one to think about. I know some people who have stuck together after an affair and worked through it, and I know yet others who have walked away and I can’t say that I blame them. Having kids makes it a little more complicated, at least for me, but I’m hoping I never have to make that decision.

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Is being married any different than common-law?

Categories: Uncategorized


While I may be a writer and photographer by night, by day I am an accountant of the Chartered variety. I recently switched from the educational side of accounting to working in an office with a bunch of other suckers who have chosen accounting as their profession. I am getting back up to speed with the technicalities behind the advice that we give. It has been as titillating as you might imagine.

One topic that I was asked to research and write a report on was the different legal aspects of being in a common-law relationship and a marriage relationship. I had always assumed that once you reached that point where you were legally declared to be “common-law” you were in the identical position as as those who had gone through the ceremony and legal hoops to be married. This is not the case.

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