Our church is holding a marriage “course” over four consecutive Wednesdays that is about making sure that you make time to connect with your spouse. I went begrudgingly (I find it ironic that we’re so BUSY, yet they expect us to come for two hours per session), but it was a good evening. We watched some video clips, answered questionnaires, then compared the answers. Not surprisingly (to us), our responses were almost identical.
with Angella Dykstra
I'm a mom of three, a professional accountant, and an amateur photographer and writer. I am not a marriage expert. But my husband and I take "Til death do us part" seriously, and here I'll be sharing how we keep our marriage strong while we both do that insane work-life juggle.
Check out my Work It, Mom! profile and my blog, Dutch Blitz.
Yesterday morning my husband and I got our kids fed, dressed, and ready for school. They walked down to the road to catch the school bus and we loaded our ski gear into the truck and we headed to the local hill, just the two of us. We left the lake fog behind and spent the day under blue skies, basking in the sun. Getting our gear on was a breeze because we didn’t have to help three smaller people get their gear on (Or hear cries that ‘It doesn’t FEEL RIGHT) and getting our gear back off was just as easy.
It’s my birthday this coming Sunday (I’m turning thirty-something), and I make a pretty big deal about it. Tonight is a potluck girls’ night in at my house, which is always a lot of fun. Good food, great friends, and a lot of laughter. The kids have started working on cards and pictures for me and my eldest has offered to make me breakfast in bed on Sunday morning. My husband and I are going out for a nice dinner on Sunday night, without our kids, which is a great way to celebrate my birthday, and also a much-needed date night. We haven’t had one since long before Christmas, and we both can’t wait.
How do you celebrate your birthday?
My husband and I both have a case of the Januarys, coupled with fighting a cold (him) and battling PMS (me). We’re open about it and while it would be easy to just grumble and groan, we’ve made a plan to get us out of our funk.
I don’t talk about sex, much, in this column, other than to say that my husband and I have it. Regularly. We have three kids, I have been pregnant four times (I miscarried my first baby), so I think it’s pretty safe to assume that all of the babies came to be because of us having sex.
(I’m pretty sure that my children will choose to believe that my husband and I have only had sex four times, despite the innuendos that their Dad likes to throw out to make me laugh and them cringe.)
The last time that my husband went away together without our kids was three years ago, to celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary. We went to Las Vegas — a first for both of us — and proceeded to gamble … for all of five minutes. It was an inexpensive retreat, we walked (and walked, and walked) and looked at the hotels and ate some great food and watched our first Cirque du Soleil show (O) and just enjoyed having some time, just the two of us.
My husband teases me (mercilessly) about my love of technology and gadgets. I switched to the Mac side long before he did and got a iPhone a full two years before he ditched his Razr. He often gets my hand-me-downs (my older MacBook Pro, for one) and isn’t one to chase after the newest version of things.
I got him the iPhone 5 for Christmas (his 3 was somehow STILL ALIVE)(barely) and we were gifted a Go Pro camera, courtesy of the folks at Best Buy, because they read my personal blog. He’s setting up that crazy camera as I type this and enjoying every second of it.
My husband and I are wired completely differently. I love to read and to write, he prefers picture books and cannot spell to save his life. He prefers the wilderness (hunting, fishing, etc.) and I love to spend a few days in a big city. I am the eternal optimist, and he is the eternal pessimist (or “realist”, according to him). He excels at team sports and I am a runner. You get the idea.
I don’t know about you guys, but my December went by in a bit of a blur. There was my kids’ school Christmas production, my husband’s work Christmas party, two different parties hosted by friends, and numerous other ‘extra’ activities connected to Christmas. Then there was Christmas Day, where we hosted a big feast. I love planning (and cooking) the big meal and I buzz around for days beforehand and the day of, and then when it’s over, I crash.
(Related: I spent the entire next day on the couch reading a book.)
We’re exactly one week away from Christmas (Don’t shoot the messenger!) and tensions seem to be running high not just for my husband and I, but for many of our friends. It’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but it seems to be turning into one big headache instead. Here are a few tips to stay connected with your other half during the holidays.