Last week I stopped writing.

Not completely, of course. I have clients, I have contractual work to deliver. I continued writing where I had to. I continued writing about the things that matter less to me; stuff that has nothing to do with how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking.

For almost eight years I’ve maintained a personal blog, and it’s been my refuge to work out my talky impulses when it comes to sorting through things. That blog has seen me through the majority of my kids’ lives (and trials and tribulations therein), several romantic relationships (and lack thereof), remarriage, relocation, everything. Everything. Before that, I journaled. For most of my life. Writing about my life has been central to my existence for a long time.

And last week I looked at the “New Post” screen and just couldn’t do it.
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There’s a school of thought that says that information is best conveyed in a numbered list of items. (I’ve also read/heard that those lists should always contain an odd number of items, but that may be a bit more controversial.) As a lifelong rambler who never writes a sentence when a half-dozen paragraphs will do, the list thing isn’t something I do too often. (I should probably try doing it more.) I do find it a fabulous way to garner lots of little informational tidbits in a short amount of time, though.

Translation: I am not succinct, but I appreciate it when others are. Heh.

Anyway, in the spirit of the whole new-year-self-improvement kind of thing, I figured that as January is winding down, now, I’d direct you to a few master list-makers who’ve piqued my interest lately. If you’re looking for the best bang-for-your-buck mileage out of some blogging advice, check out these lists from people smarter—and more succinct—than I:
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I feel like I’ve written about this before… possibly because I’ve, y’know, written about this before. In fact, a quick poke through the archives here revealed that years ago, after appearing on The Today Show, I felt quite invaded to suddenly have so many people interested in how much money I make. I tend to be a private person, and I was raised to believe you don’t just go around asking people about their finances. Now, I absolutely believe in freelancers forming a helpful community where like-minded folks can learn from and help each other, and in that context, I think talking about money is logical and a good idea. But just general sort of “what do you make?” kinds of things? I find that tacky.

(This comes as a huge shock to you, I know.)

Anyone who has ever formed any sort of working relationship with me knows that I have no problem discussing business in a business or mentoring context. But now I’m wondering if “honesty” and “transparency”—qualities I think are necessary for success in this line of work—should extend to one’s financials.
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I love my accountant. You know this about me, because I say it all the time. I’m saying it again. Because I love him that much.

When I am not busy proclaiming my undying (yet completely businesslike and platonic, I assure you) love for my accountant, I’m probably saying this: Worth every penny. Because he is.

Everyone who freelances has a Starting Out period where every penny is precious. How long that time lasts varies, of course, and I went through it, too, so I totally get that there’s this start-up time when you’re not even making enough money to cover your expenses, not really, and hiring an accountant seems Completely Out Of The Question. That’s fine. What I do say, though, is that as soon as you can afford it, hire an accountant.

When can you afford it? That’s up to you. I would say that if you’ve reached the point of incorporating—or maybe even just thinking about it—it’s time. And yet, there’s always someone who will argue with me that they’re perfectly capable of handling their taxes and other paperwork themselves. My standard answer is that I’m sure they are, but I think they should hire an accountant anyway.
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We were on the road for two weeks over the holidays; two weeks of working on my laptop on a couch or at someone else’s table rather than my desk, two weeks of trying to work less so I could spend precious time with family and friends normally so far away, two weeks of dealing with various family crises and cramped quarters and long (oh my goodness, so long) treks in the car.

I’m glad we went, but I was elated to arrive back home. Two weeks is a long time for me to be off my regular routine. I missed my bed and my house and even my desk, I found.

Of course, after arriving home at practically midnight on Sunday, Monday was a day to unpack, ask the children if they ever planned to get out of their pajamas (their answer: “No, of course not!”), and try to get the house set to rights again. Today—Tuesday—the kids were back to school and I was ready to get back into my normal routine. Today would be an incredibly productive day!
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This week is the one in which everyone I know who isn’t a freelancer is lolling around, eating pie with their families. Of course, everyone I know who is a freelancer is also eating pie, but generally while balancing a laptop and trying to tie up all of the year’s loose ends.

Boo hoo, I know. Poor me and my pie-balancing act. Heh.

The week between Christmas and New Year’s is traditionally one in which people reflect and make resolutions to be better, stronger, thinner, and smarter in the new year. For me, being in business for myself means that this is when I reflect on all of the things I probably should’ve gotten done earlier in the year. Ahem.

I also think of my accountant, and start rooting around in my purse for receipts. (I am nothing if not supremely organized.)

So, yes, there is also planning for the year ahead, but first I have to finish up this year.
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There’s no shortage of advice out there on how to deal with That Commenter. You know the one—he or she starts out with a few back-handed compliments in response to a post or two, and then the day comes when they’ve simply had enough. In a sentence or six they outline why you are the wrongest of the very wrong, your children will grow up to hate you, your spouse probably rues the day you married, and how you will die alone because everything you touch is tainted. (This is different than constructive disagreement, by the way. Not everyone who disagrees with you is mean and inappropriate. This post is just about the folks who really overstep bounds, get personal, and attack.)

This is part of living a semi-public life (which any writer who ever talks about anything personal is doing, intentionally or not). There are people out there that view any willingness to share personal stories as any or all of the following:
A) Your entire life laid transparent, a complete story with no missing pieces,
B) Permission to judge you,
C) An invitation to relive personal baggage, related to you or not,
D) An opportunity to unload vitriol.

Lots of people have great ideas on how to deal with this when it happens.
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I feel like I’ve been writing about how stressed out I am for at least a month, now. The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas—and all of the family time therein, or worrying about missing that family time—always seems so crammed full of obligations that I’m often left with precious little time to just enjoy, which I think is kind of a shame.

And as much time as I spend trying to figure out how to take time off, get away from my desk for an entire day (imagine!), the deeper issue is that day-to-day balance so that life feels like something to be experienced rather than an endless slog. (Okay, that’s a bit of hyperbole, but still.)

It’s not about figuring out a vacation, necessarily, but about making every work day more doable, more manageable. I mean, vacations are nice and all, but until I hit the lottery (which is difficult, I’m told, if you never actually buy a ticket), I still have to work for a living… so I’d rather figure out how to make most of my time more enjoyable than simply endure for long stretches between the nicer bits.
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In the midst of the “most wonderful time of the year,” when we should all be trimming trees or menorahs (hey, I know people don’t trim menorahs) (nor do I believe everyone is Judeo-Christian) (just go with me here, okay?), another community uproar has broken out over freelance writers and payment.

Specifically, there’s been a lot of discussion generated by the announcement of REDBOOK’s new “Motherboard,” a panel of bloggers who will be writing for them free of charge.

There’s been so much chatter about this already, I’m not going to subject you to my own long-winded commentary on this. Plenty of people have already covered a lot of what I would say, probably with less flailing around than I would likely do. But if you haven’t been following along—or would like to make sure you see several different takes on it—let’s take a look.
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‘Tis the season for my otherwise relatively peaceful slumber to be interrupted in one of three ways:
1) I can’t sleep. I toss and turn, thinking about all of the things I need to be doing.
2) I don’t go to sleep when I should, because I have too much work to do.
or
3) I fall asleep, and dream that I’m working. I wake up tired and grumpy.

The most wonderful time of the year? Uh, maybe for someone else. For me, pretty much the entire window from Thanksgiving to New Year’s is when I wish I did anything other than freelance. It’s a busy time for me, anyway, but the lack of vacation when my cube-farm friends are kicking back for a week or two is hard. And when my kids are off school and I feel like I’m chained to my desk, that’s hard, too.

I know. Wah wah wah.

I chose this life, and 95% of the time, I love it. Nevertheless, Burnout often feels imminent during the month of December, for me. So how do I get through? It’s all in the little things.
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