I feel the need to preface this by saying that I take my work very seriously. Once of the drawbacks of working independently is that there is no chain of command or upper-level management I can point to when things don’t get done. If the work doesn’t get done, I’m to blame. And then I look bad. (No one likes looking bad, but for the independent professional it can be the kiss of death. Do you think a client comes back to you when you missed deadline? Three guesses, and the first two don’t count.)

So make no mistake; what I’m about to tell you is not about shirking responsibility, or trying to bamboozle my clients. Nevertheless, I have a confession.

I’m a total poser.

With long-time clients a relationship is forged and eventually you’re asking about each others’ kids when you check in. Those people know I’m both a mom and a freelancer, and I already have a track record with them. Mentioning something parenting-related isn’t going to send those folks into a panic, thinking that perhaps I’m not up for the task at hand. With one of those clients, I may start off a call by responding to “How’s it going?” with “Well, my daughter is on the couch puking into a bucket and my son is asleep on the floor. After I finish this assignment for you I’m going to go put my head into the oven. How are you?”

(I’ve said before and I’ll say it again: I’m not so much for the brain-to-mouth filter around people with whom I feel comfortable.)

But with new clients, or clients whom I suspect are not interested in forming even the most rudimentary pleasantries-based relationship, I find myself going into Poser Mode.

When I miss a call because I’m out shuttling the kids around or shopping for groceries (because the kids are happy to let me work when they get home from school, but will complain about going to the supermarket as if I’ve dipped them in burning oil), I apologize for having been “tied up in a meeting.”

When they want to schedule something when the kids will be getting off the bus, I “check my calendar” and regretfully inform them that I already have a call then.

When we’re discussing general availability I find myself referring to when I’ll be “here in the office” even though, hello, my office is currently a desk in the family room.

I’m not sure why I feel this overwhelming need to paint myself as a one-dimensional worker-bot in some of my professional dealings, but I think there’s a small voice in the back of my head that insists that if I don’t, I won’t be taken seriously. It’s probably a vestige from my corporate days. When I find myself doing this sort of posing it irritates me, but it’s like having Tourette’s! I don’t mean to; the little cover lies just pop out!

Then again, I’m sure there’s a middle ground between pretending I don’t have children (or a life outside my work) and giving every detail of the latest throat culture. That’s a balancing act I obviously have yet to master.