Cornered Office
with Mir Kamin
I'm a freelance writer and mother of two working from home, which theoretically means I can set my own schedule so as to best accommodate my family. In reality, "flexible hours" often equals "working too much." Yes, I'm my own boss; no, that doesn't mean life is easy. It's hard to leave the office when you live there. But I love what I do and feel very lucky. And not just because I get paid to work in my pajamas.
To learn more about Mir, check out her profile on Work It, Mom! or visit her blog at http://www.wouldashoulda.com/
I am a consummate multitasker. I’m not saying I’m particularly good at it, you understand, but it is part of my nature to be going in three directions at once.
One of the things I struggle with, as a mom, is really stopping what I’m doing and giving the kids my undivided attention when they want it. It’s not that I don’t think they deserve it or that I’m trying not to listen to them, it’s just that I forget to stop typing or reading, sometimes. And I really don’t want to be that kind of mom. So I’m (forever) working on that.
One of the things I did last year—and was, amazingly enough, pretty good about holding to—was designating a time when I Would Not Work on school afternoons. The kids got off the bus around 3:15, and I gave myself a small buffer by telling them to put their stuff away and grab a snack; but at 3:30, I would push back from the computer and focus on the children. It worked pretty well. (Yes, there were lots of late evenings, and during project crunch times there were even times when I worked while they ate dinner in front of the TV, but I had that designated time for them every afternoon.)
With school about to resume (the kids head back on Monday), I’ve recently realized my carefully-arranged routine may be about to hit a large bump in the road. I actually feel sort of stupid about it. But here it is: Although bus service is offered for my children, I’ve heard some… not-so-great stories about the bus service here. And all buses arrive at school well ahead of the start of the (already early) school day, to allow children on the subsidized meal program to have breakfast.
School isn’t too far from here. But it means stopping work earlier, disrupting my flow (such as it is), getting up and out and walking away from whatever I’m doing, etc.
As a mom, my gut feeling is that I should drive the kids to and from school.
As a busy freelancer who’s struggling to catch up after a hectic summer, I’d really like them to just take the damn bus.
Oh well. More ammunition for my next “You know, I do everything for you kids!” outburst, I suppose.
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Can you maybe alternate, bus some days and you drive them other days? Then they’re not exposed to the bad bus service all the time, yet you get 2 or 3 days a week that aren’t interrupted by the driving time. Just a thought I had.
Delton | August 9th, 2007 at 9:46 am
Some more possibly options:
Are there neighbours you can car-pool with?
How far is the school? Can they safely walk with friends or an older child? (All three of my kids have, at one time or another, been paid to walk smaller children to and from school.)
MaryP | August 9th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Er. “Possible” options. Because we writers, we proof-read everything. Carefully.
MaryP | August 9th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Delton: The “badness” of the bus service has to do with bullies and other rough kids on the bus. While I suspect my oldest would bounce back from a bad experience, my youngest probably wouldn’t. Not sure I’m willing to scar them for life for my convenience.
MaryP: Being new to the neighborhood/school I’m not sure about carpooling yet, but perhaps.
Mir | August 9th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
The bus is a source of anxiety to our household too as I work 2 afternoons from home I am in a similar situation.
Could you give the bus a chance for say the first few months of the school year and pull them out of it in the event things go wrong.
We had a bully situation on our bus as well (my older daughter being the brunt of it). It took a little while but we got it resolved after a lot of persistance with the school.
As much as I hate the bus, my kids actually love it for some reason and when I offered to “loop” them on my way to the office they wanted no part of it.
Good luck
TrishK | August 9th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
I worry about what kids pick up on the bus. It’s pretty much 45 minutes each way of unsupervised time with a few punks sprinkled in there. Yikes. I’m all for the carpool idea.
Susan at Working Moms Against Guilt
http://www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com
Susan | August 9th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
I drive my kids to and from school too. It’s added time with the kids in which I am not reading or on the computer :). That said, I hate the interruption to my afternoon work to go get them– it’s about a half hour to 45 minute interruption.
I am sorry to hear about the buses there– I have sometimes thought of putting my kids on the bus (and maybe I should), but we seem to be in a routine now, so I will probably continue to drive them.
jcreer | August 9th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Like Jen, I drive my four kids to and from school - not to mention the never-ending list of after school activities - which can take up to 3 hours out of my day.
Our district went through a “re-organization,” which blew our desire for our kids to attend neighborhood schools all to hell.
We have 3 elementary, 1 pre-middle school (don’t ask!) middle school and high school stagger their start times and a lot of MY time is spent waiting in a very loooooong line of cars.
Buying a seat on the bus would mean an extra $300, per kid.
So, I sit and try to use the time to catch up on my reading and make a few phone calls, etc…
Thankfully, #2 will be in the middle school with #1 - waaaay across town - and eligible for free busing, this year.
No, they’re not thrilled about it and neither am I, but - having done “the drive” for 7 years - I’m willing to give the bus a try.
Either way, we’re back to 4 schools the following year and THEN my schedule’s totally screwed!
Good luck, Mir.
Liz | August 10th, 2007 at 11:50 am
Interruptions aside, I drive my son to and from school. He’s going into first grade this year and last year it seemed he was most talkative about his day in those first 15 minutes while we were riding home. I consider it an investment in keeping up with what’s really going on in his school life.
Laura | August 10th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Perhaps you could find some other concerned parents and agitate to get the school district to fix the bullying problems on the busses. Addressing the root of the problem would benefit all the kids and their parents.
SoftwareMom | August 10th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
It’s a dilemma. PunditGirl doesn’t get bus service to her school, but since I’m also a freelancer, I have a hard time separating the work day and the rest of the day without being preoccupied. And school here doesn’t start until after Labor Day! Help!
PunditMom
djbam | August 13th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
The good part about driving them yourself is that you get that quality time with them each and every day and you have no choice about it!
Some of the best conversations I had with my mom as a kid were while we were driving to or from school.
Jessica | August 13th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
[...] to everyone who chimed in with their suggestions on my school transportation dilemma. After much soul-searching (or talking to other parents in the district, whatever), I decided that [...]
Work It, Mom! | A Community for Professional Moms | August 14th, 2007 at 7:53 am