You know, I always sort of get a chuckle out of articles that purport to tell you things you should or should not do as a [fill in the blank here]. Nine out of ten times, those pieces can be extrapolated outwards to apply to human relations in general, particularly when you’re talking about how to interact with others (as opposed to how to design your web page or what to wear). And the saddest part is that our society desperately needs these sort of how-to pieces, because people in general are often either self-absorbed or just plain clueless.

Nevertheless, every now and then I see one of these articles that spells it out in a noteworthy way, so today we’re going to turn our attention elsewhere.

Everyone, meet Kristen King, a savvy freelance writer. I already knew I loved her, but then I read her piece on 7 Heinous Freelance Writing Practices You Should Stop Immediately. In case that title isn’t clear enough for you, you should go read her post and—if you engage in any of the practices mentioned—knock it off.

All of her points are good ones, but the ones that really stuck out to me were numbers 6 and 7:

6. # Bugging your writing pals for work when things are slow and never (a) saying thank you or (b) reciprocating.

[...]

7. When someone does give you a referral, do a bad job or otherwise embarrass them and make them regret helping you.

This is not rocket science, people. Yet the sheer number of people who fail to understand these two points is simply staggering. I don’t know what it’s like in other countries, of course, but I’d say the American reputation for rudeness is fairly well-earned. Violation of either of the tenets above is just that: rudeness.

It turns out that fellow writer Lori Widmer also had a few words to say on this topic, detailing a few cases where colleagues have made her regret their association. Her piece is a must-read addendum to King’s even if only for what is perhaps the greatest line I’ve read lately:

As Kristen’s post points out, you have to conduct yourself like a professional and not like a trained animal who occasionally bites its handlers.

I am not only enjoying that particular visual perhaps more than I should admit, but that’s the crux of the issue, right there. You have to conduct yourself like a professional. And really, that’s not so very different than conducting yourself like a decent human being.

The kid on the playground who shoves the other kids off the swings, barges in line at the slide, and commandeers the kickball finds himself all alone on the see-saw. There’s a natural cause and effect (one hopes) where, eventually, one either realizes that you have to play nicely to have anyone with whom to play, or you have to resign yourself to playing alone.

Unfortunately, in the modern corporate world, this reinforcing cause and effect relationship ends up badly skewed because oftentimes we still reward people who are basically bullies and jerks. Sure, everyone hates them, but wow they do nice work and they’ve been with the company for years and the boss loves them! And so sometimes, those people continue to thrive despite having the social skills of an angry hedgehog. It’s sad but true.

In freelancing, however, we are afforded no such immunity. We don’t have job security (usually), our positions necessitate a fair amount of successful schmoozing (often), and no matter how good we are, we’re replaceable with any of the other freelancers out there—perhaps ones who know how to behave. And while you can often get by in the cubicle world by standing on other people (I’m not saying this is a good thing, just that it’s accepted practice), it is the kiss of death to do so as a freelancer.

Personally, I can’t distance myself quickly enough from a colleague when I feel they’ve conducted business in an unbecoming manner. Whether they’ve burned me directly or just been so unprofessional that word is getting around, it’s a matter of my own career preservation for me to move them off my mental list of cohorts. And it’s a fact of both freelancing and life that you are judged by the company you keep.

That all sounds really negative, I know. The flip side is that it makes a lot of the day-to-day stuff really easy—I just try to stick to the golden rule. I treat clients and colleagues the way I’d like to be treated, and assume that most of the time they’ll do the same for me. Most of the time, they do.

Is that really so hard?