Cornered Office
with Mir Kamin
I'm a freelance writer and mother of two working from home, which theoretically means I can set my own schedule so as to best accommodate my family. In reality, "flexible hours" often equals "working too much." Yes, I'm my own boss; no, that doesn't mean life is easy. It's hard to leave the office when you live there. But I love what I do and feel very lucky. And not just because I get paid to work in my pajamas.
To learn more about Mir, check out her profile on Work It, Mom! or visit her blog at http://www.wouldashoulda.com/
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I feel like I’m having the same conversation over and over again, lately. Everywhere I go, I’m being asked the same question.
During the Today Show interview, Janet asked if “anybody could do this.” During BlogHer Business, several people asked bout what happens when bloggers are in competition with each other. And in a conversation with someone yesterday—wherein I was giving my standard explanation of how I came to be a freelancer and how I write on this very topic—I was asked, “Oh, but don’t you want to keep your methods a secret, so that other people can’t take your clients?”
Maybe I’m naive, but I don’t understand this attitude that everyone else who does what I do is somehow standing between me and success.
First of all, so far it seems like there’s plenty of work to go around. I can’t possibly do it all myself; I’ve got plenty on my plate as it is. Only a complete narcissist would believe that others in her field are somehow obstructing her ability to land work.
Second, where others seem to see competition in fellow freelancers, I see (for the most part) an amazing extended network. Not only are some of my dearest friends freelancers—and they are, of course, the ones I turn to for ideas, commiseration, or just to talk shop as needed—remember that whole full plate thing…? Sometimes I’ve been too busy to take on another offered gig, and I’ve referred it over to a friend of mine. Sometimes a friend of mine has been too busy and has referred gig over to me. Networking amongst peers is just as important as networking amongst potential clients.
And finally, I guess I just believe a little competition is a healthy thing. Writers I admire make me want to be a better writer. Savvy freelancers with admirable business acumen inspire me to conduct my own career in better ways. I can’t be the only one who feels this way. I mean… can I? I have (I think) just enough confidence in my own abilities to both believe I can stand up to the competition and to recognize that I can still improve. Having a field of colleagues in which to practice is a gift, to me.
Okay, that sounded really sappy and lame. But I meant it. Which probably means I’m sappy and lame. But I’m sappy and lame and glad not to be an island. Geez, how boring life would be if I was the only one who does what I do. (Not to mention that then if I got hit by a bus or something, it would cause a rift in the space-time continuum….)
So what say you: Am I oversimplifying, or is “competition paranoia” an unnecessary mindset?
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I’ve seen it, and I don’t get it. Aren’t mentors an important part of business?
On a mailing list, a writer bragged about his acumen in getting jobs and when people asked for details he told them to do their research and clammed up. Look, I’ve done a lot of reading and research, but when someone says “Oh, I know how to do that!” I’m going to ask them how. Because it’s much easier to learn from a conversation, even in email, than it is from a book. (At least, it is for me.) It doesn’t mean I haven’t done my research already. It means I want to hear from a “real-live” example. What’s wrong with that?
I’m grateful that you share your info, Mir, because without your answers to some of my questions, I might not be where I am, finding freelance gigs and getting closer to my goals.
I would much rather work in a collaborative spirit than to see everyone as competition. And I’m so glad that you do, too. Really.
I’m hoping that along the way I’ll find some friends with whom I can share work, like you do. I want that, but I just haven’t found it yet.
becky | April 8th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Right on, Mir!
Denise | April 8th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
[...] Can’t we all be colleagues? - Cornered Office - Work It, Mom! Maybe I’m naive, but I don’t understand this attitude that everyone else who does what I do is somehow standing between me and success. (tags: blogging writing freelance community networking mir) [...]
links for 2008-04-09 | Flamingo House Happenings | April 8th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
In teaching, we call it collegiality. It doesn’t mean friendship, it means sharing and collaborating. Reaching out can be a lifesaver — and it sounds like it is for many freelancers, too.
Daisy | April 8th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I’m a CPA and I so appreciate talking with other local CPAs that are doing what I’m doing. I have a group I meet with once a week for lunch and we help each other out tremendously. I definitely agree that even in my line of work there are way more than enough clients to go around and networking with my peers is a great way to share ideas and not feel so alone as a sole-practioner. It is all in the mindset. Abundance vs. scarcity.
Melinda | April 8th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Perhaps some of what you described comes from others’ lack of confidence and insecurities….. I totally agree that we need our colleagues and coworkers, and healthy competition is good, especially since it helps us push ourselves. And you’re totally NOT sappy and lame!
BlapherMJ | April 9th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Well don’t I feel stupid.
I always assumed when I asked someone and they claimed up it was because they assumed I wasn’t a qualified/good enough writer.
Now I know it’s because they would consider me competition!
(At least, that’s what I will be telling myself from now on.)
Miss Britt | April 9th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Agree 100%. More if I could but you know mathematically impossible. There’s plenty of oppty, different people have different strengths and I firmly believe the more you extend yourself to help others, the better off you will be.
It’s all about karma.
Susan Getgood | April 14th, 2008 at 3:48 pm