Cornered Office
with Mir Kamin
I'm a freelance writer and mother of two working from home, which theoretically means I can set my own schedule so as to best accommodate my family. In reality, "flexible hours" often equals "working too much." Yes, I'm my own boss; no, that doesn't mean life is easy. It's hard to leave the office when you live there. But I love what I do and feel very lucky. And not just because I get paid to work in my pajamas.
To learn more about Mir, check out her profile on Work It, Mom! or visit her blog at http://www.wouldashoulda.com/
Outed in my town, again with the money myth
Categories: Head hitting brick wall, My boss is an idiot
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All publicity is good publicity. All publicity is good publicity. All publicity is good publicity. If I keep saying it, maybe eventually I’ll believe it. Right? All publicity is good publicity….
A few weeks ago, I did a small segment with a local radio station, and was pleased with the results. I felt the piece represented me well, and it brought me some extra traffic, and no one I knew in real life heard the interview. Heh. (That may not seem like a perk, but to me it totally was.)
Shortly after the radio thing, I was then contacted by our local NBC affiliate to ask if I’d mind being interviewed for the news. This happened on a day when I had a sick kid at home and a million things going on, and I really wanted to say no… but I knew it was an opportunity, so I said yes.
Is this story starting to sound familiar?
Remember how I said I learned my lesson on the Today Show? Well, I was told this piece for the news would be about saving money. And it was—sort of. Here it is.
Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m still grateful for the exposure, obviously. But the thrust of the piece was definitely “The economy is tanking and these women are making money off of your misfortune,” which certainly wouldn’t have been my choice. I was smart enough (this time!) to refuse to address the earnings question, but then it was used in the interview footage as a sort of supporting evidence that I must be making those famed imaginary buckets of money, and when I saw the interview, my heart sank.
My one redeeming hope was that no one local would’ve seen the clip.
Yesterday I was picking my kids up from school early for an appointment, and the school secretary greeted me and then crowed, “I saw you on the news! About your website!”
I froze. Then I smiled and said something about how Yeah, it was pretty exciting to have the news come cover little ol’ me, even if they did make it out like I’m running an empire over here, hahaha! There was chuckling and agreement and then I grabbed my children and left. On our way out, my daughter told me that the art and music teachers had been talking about having seen me on the news, too.
The kids’ school is pretty economically diverse, but we live in an area which is (overall) fairly poverty-ridden. To be “outed” in the school community this way—with, again, the insinuation that I’m wealthy—is not only annoying because it’s inaccurate, but I worry that it may have repercussions for my kids.
Also, I had to spend a little bit of time with my head on my desk, wondering why people seem to think it’s anyone’s damn business how much money a person makes. I… look, I simply don’t have that curiosity. About anyone. Why is it so pervasive?
And how do I continue to navigate activities over at the school without feeling like the staff is all talking about me?
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Wow. I understand what you mean. But you know there are those that know, most of the things reported in the news are not always accurate, they are exaggerated to be interesting.
And why feel guilty about finding smart ways to make money even in the tough economy. Feel proud. Also, maybe you can give back to the community by doing a seminar like, smart money tips in a tough economy? Is that something that could work for you?
Vera Babayeva | November 13th, 2008 at 10:33 am
Vera: I give a lot of time/money to the school, so I’m assuming it’s clear that I’m not holed up in my house on a pile of money, telling everyone to go away.
I guess the other thing that bothers me about this is that I started Want Not two and a half years ago—well in advance of the economic meltdown. Just because it’s suddenly fashionable/necessary for everyone to save some money doesn’t mean I’m capitalizing on people’s misfortune or that I’m only successful at this now. It’s just… so slanted. I know that’s how media tends to be (”How can we make this most sensational?”), but it still really irks me.
Mir | November 13th, 2008 at 10:38 am
My first thought was just that - you give a lot of your time to the school. Anyone who reads for even a short time knows that. And it’s obvious that you volunteer because you want to, not for any personal gain. Keep doing what you’ve always done. People who know you will support you, and people who don’t know you will be curious for a short time and then move on to something else. Remember that this, too, shall pass.
Sharon | November 13th, 2008 at 11:15 am
My Mother always said to only worry about the opinions of people who matter to you.
Not easy advice, and something I’ve personally struggled with for a long time, but if someone wants to think that you’re hoarding buckets of money…are they really someone whose opinion should matter to you? After all, donating your time is MUCH more challenging than writing a check.
exile on mom street | November 13th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Oh, and also, finding me great deals does NOT make me feel like you’re profiting off of my economic woes.
It makes me feel like you’re providing me with an excellent service and saving me time and money. Just so you know…
exile on mom street | November 13th, 2008 at 11:27 am
Sharon: I think you’re right.
Natasha: You are pretty.
Mir | November 13th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Maybe this is a branding issue. When I came across WantNot I thought “wow — someone ELSE is going to all this trouble to find deals so I dont’ have to!” ….maybe you could work that angle more for your own publicity’s sake?
I was appalled by how shallow that segment was, BTW. You offer a service, and yes, you make a living, but the interesting part of your story is NOT how much $ you make, it’s what you do! (pleez, can our local TV stations get past 1997 and the gee-whillikers internet entrepreneur story yet? please???)
Melissa D | November 13th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
I saw that segment and thought they put such an inaccurate spin on what you do. Money is a funny thing. My husband is active duty military so anyone can go online and see what someone his rank having been in for 14 years is bringing home. Surprisingly, even for an officer serving for such a long time, it’s not that much money. So, our income is already out there for anyone to see.
I don’t think it’s anyone’s business but it’s out there for the world to see. Your situation is so different. It really is nobody’s business and I hope that anyone that saw the news clip can see the spin they put on the piece.
If someone says anything to you about how they saw you on the news, I’d say, “Yeah, it was fun but I’m disappointed with the final product. It was very misleading!”
divrchk | November 13th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Melissa: THANK YOU. It’s nice to know it’s not just me, thinking that.
Divrchk: Yeah, my husband is a state employee and so anyone can look up his salary. I don’t know why this feel different and more invasive. Possibly because the first time it was implied by the media that I make a living at this, I was barraged with emails wanting my “secret?” Not sure. (Also: The news doesn’t ask my husband about his salary!)
Mir | November 13th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Well, for whatever it’s worth, I watched the segment, and I didn’t get the message that you were making a ton of money at it. (Of course, I know better, because I saw the Today Show segment. Heh.)
Have you considered saying up front that you aren’t going to answer any questions about how much you make? I mean before you even agree to the interview? (Or, you know, have your people tell their people that you won’t do it unless they work off your approved script. OK, stopping now, sorry.)
Or, you could answer the question they really want answered, which I think is “how much money can a person make doing this kind of work?” You can keep it separate from your specific income by telling them what Google Ads pays, what a reasonable hourly wage range for freelance writing is, that sort of thing. I really do think that’s what their listeners are interested in — not just what you specifically are making.
Jan | November 13th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
It was a slanted article and I greatly appreciate all of your effort to do the hunting for me and my friends.
I wouldn’t worry about the people from school talking about you. This story will pass, something else will come up and sadly you will not be the first thing on everyone’s mind.
Please hang in there and keep the deals coming.
KLG | November 13th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Wow! Some reporters are awful.
I agree with a lot of the previous comments here. You work really, really hard to find all the great deals so that we don’t have to, and for that I am very grateful! I’m happy to slide a few nickels or dimes your way for my little purchases because I know how hard it is to be successful as a blogger.
As for the local folks… I live in a small, rural town (and I’m married to a state employee, too!), and they just don’t get what I do. I try not to let it get to me.
The people worth knowing are the people who understand you… the people worth knowing are the people who accept you as you are even when they don’t understand you.
To heck with the rest of them. It’s their problem!
Christina | November 13th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
I think the intro just stated a fact. People are more inclined to visit your site and make you money now than they were before the economy blew up, no? I didn’t get the vibe she was dissing you for finding a successful niche, which ps WAY TO GO!
I thought the comment about this affecting your kids was interesting. I don’t know what you have in mind about what people will say to your kids…but my dad is a lawyer and I believe I have a real chip on my shoulder about some of the things people said to me as a kid because of it. Now when people make lawyer cracks I know how to handle it, but as a kid I just took it all in and thought and thought and thought and then came up with an incorrect conclusion that lead to unnecessary stress for a kid. Two at school things were people making fun of me for wearing hand me downs as in, why would a lawyer’s kid have hand me downs, and also, in 8th grade gym class I was wearing sandals (b/c I wa a stupid teenager, I did have shoes) and the teacher said in front of the class that my dad was a lawyer and I could go home and ask for anything I wanted and he could go out and buy it. It was jarring to say the least. So, even though it sounds like you are already on it you might want to talk to your kids about what may be in store.
PS I know every kid no matter their sitch is going to get bugged about something, I wasn’t unique for getting bugged, just I should have friggin said something and saved myself some angst.
Anon | November 14th, 2008 at 1:35 am
I didn’t see the buckets of money either, but then I already know how pretty you really are. It’s hard for me to figure out objectively how a total stranger might have viewed the piece. And, of course, even harder for YOU to be objective about it!
Brigitte | November 14th, 2008 at 6:18 am
I would just like to state for the record that y’all are VERY PRETTY.
Thank you for all of your thoughts!
Mir | November 14th, 2008 at 7:11 am
Mir, I know how you’re feeling…because we have almost always been “mis”judged by others who think we have piles of money just sitting around, gathering dust. It’s very easy for someone to “peek” into the life of another person and decide something, but that old adage about walking a mile in my shoes is very true. Appearances can, and generally ARE deceiving. From my perspective, all you can do is continue to be YOU and just try to forget about the people who want to judge you. Talk to the kids about it, if you feel it would be helpful. But, bottom line, just teach them that it’s the things you DO, not the things you HAVE that define you as a person and that it’s wrong to judge another person based on *anything* other than the things they DO.
Stephanie | November 16th, 2008 at 4:07 pm