I’ve taken my laptop into the family room, today, even though I usually stay in my office all day long and never turn on the television. Today’s an exception, though, because today is President-Elect Obama’s inauguration, and while I can’t just chuck my work for the day, I can work while I watch CNN.

You’d be hard-pressed to find someone in this country who doesn’t believe that 2009 is going to be a year of change. Not everyone is excited about it, I guess, but I think we all realize that things are going to be different this year. Between the economy (I won’t use the “R” word, and certainly won’t utter the “D” word), the changeover in power in the White House, reorganization on Wall Street, etc., very few people are doing “business as usual,” these days.

Watching the Inauguration festivities is giving me chills.

A few months ago, someone asked me how difficult it is to weather an economic crisis when you’re a freelancer. I blithely responded that actually, it’s easy! We have the advantages of both 1) being relatively cheap for employers and 2) having many jobs at a time, so we’re less likely to lose our jobs when the belts get tightened and losing one job doesn’t mean total financial ruin. No worries! I’m good!

One of my clients cut back my contract, then, and I patted myself on the back about my sage words and how this was really not a critical issue. Less than a month later, I had a replacement gig locked up, anyway.

And then the holidays came along, and a lot of stress and introspection, and I have basically been sort of unhappy ever since. Nothing horrible has happened; and I’m not miserable or anything, but I was fretting about finances and contracts and the work I’ve long loved was starting to feel like drudgery. I most assuredly did not have that joy down in my heart, is my point. I was going through the motions.

A few weeks later, an opportunity presented itself to me. And unlike my usual gigs, it was something completely different both in scope and in terms of risk. Usually you hire me to write something, and we agree on a price, and that’s that. The risk is… well, I won’t say it’s zero, but it’s as close to zero as it gets. It’s all very tidy and safe.

This other opportunity walked in and basically offered me the chance to do something that could turn into something rewarding and lucrative. Or it might take a lot of work and end up being nothing more than a waste of time.

It scared the crap out of me. I am not a risk-taker. I know that sounds utterly ridiculous, coming from a freelancer, but it’s true.

I’ve been wrestling with this for a couple of weeks. Take the risk? Play it safe? And what I kept coming back to was this: In this economic climate, I didn’t feel like I could terminate any of my contracts in good conscience. Who turns down work when work is currently so hard to come by? Probably no one, and certainly not someone like me whose tendency is to play squirrel-with-nuts when it comes to my earnings and financial planning. But with my current work load, I simply would not have the time to work on this new project. I’ve been trying, actually. And failing.

My house is a mess, my children need more of me, and my husband reports that I’m snapping at everyone.

I simply cannot do everything. And I cannot turn away any of my clients right now without feeling selfish and risky and ridiculous. Because that’s how I am.

So when one of my clients called me yesterday and launched into a long, apologetic explanation of how they’d just laid off half their staff and they’d need to terminate my contract—please understand that it’s budget issues, nothing personal, we love your work—I suspect it was puzzling to them when I was positively cheerful to hear this news. I never would’ve walked away from them on my own; they’re great clients and the money is nice, too. But this was the sign I needed.

I’m stepping out of my comfort zone, this year. I’m taking the risk. Money is going to be tighter, and the work is going to be harder than anything I’ve ever done before. And there is an excellent chance that I will fail spectacularly. But this I know: 2009 is going to be a year of change.

And I can’t wait.