Cornered Office
with Mir Kamin
I'm a freelance writer and mother of two working from home, which theoretically means I can set my own schedule so as to best accommodate my family. In reality, "flexible hours" often equals "working too much." Yes, I'm my own boss; no, that doesn't mean life is easy. It's hard to leave the office when you live there. But I love what I do and feel very lucky. And not just because I get paid to work in my pajamas.
To learn more about Mir, check out her profile on Work It, Mom! or visit her blog at http://www.wouldashoulda.com/
My husband is bugging me for a vacation.
More specifically: He wants to take a couple of days to go away when the kids are off visiting their dad, and this is a perfectly reasonable request. Some might even say it sounds fun. (It does. Sound fun, I mean.)
But at the same time, I cannot get over feeling like I can’t possibly go away! There’s too much work to do! It costs too much! The sky is falling!
Okay, possibly that last one was a small exaggeration. I am just going to sit under this umbrella, to be sure, but still. (Do you feel sorry for my husband, yet?)
Look, it’s not that we can’t afford it or that a couple of days not working is going to cause my business to collapse, or anything.
But the realities here trip every security alarm I have. On the one hand, work is not as booming as it once was, which is… okay… but makes me feel like I need to be working harder on the gigs I do have, and/or on other projects that may lead to more paying work.
And on the other hand, remember how I was all ready to do my taxes? All proud of myself for making my estimated payments? Well, it turns out that I had a pretty good year. Actually, it turns out that I had a great year, financially. Which is… great. Except for the part where said greatness meant I’d grossly underpaid my taxes. Now, I have an account set aside for just such a situation (and once I’m incorporated the self-employment taxes won’t bite me quite so hard), but still. I’m writing a rather large check to my Uncle Sam, and not really feeling like it’s time to go on a frivolous trip.
Now, if I had a third hand, it would be waving in the air right now, Horshack-style, ready to point out that I work hard, and where there’s a will there’s a way, and my ever-patient husband deserves some of my undivided attention (and I deserve a break).
Perhaps a night or two away, close by, will be the right compromise. One might even say that I’d return refreshed and renewed and ready to work even harder.
Now I’m off to find the magic potion that will allow me to relax and unwind the moment I leave the house. Hahahahaha. (Don’t worry, once I find it I plan to market it at a very reasonable price, possibly through late-night informercials!)
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I know there’s more to this stress you’re feeling than just finances…BUT…have you considered staying at a state park? I was Not Interested in Camping at all, but I recently stayed in a little cabin at one, and it was quite nice. Linens and towels were provided, there was a bathroom and small kitchen with cooking implements, it had central heat and air and a screened-in porch. It pretty much amounted to a condo, but with outdated decorating. There was no TV, and we had a great time.
The weather is perfect for it right now, and the prices will probably be low.
Good luck with your get-away. Sounds like you need one.
Just me | March 10th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Mir, Savannah is lovely and just fits the bill. It will be beautiful this time of year. St. Simon’s Island is very close by and beautiful, too. (My stepson and his wife live there, were married on the beach last fall)
Grace | March 10th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Try AAA’s last minute deals in their travel section for good package vacations cheap!
JoAnne Lynn Spitale | March 10th, 2009 at 11:24 am
I hear you. My husband is the one who wanted to take time off last fall, and I thought “Great! We can do projects around the house.” That wasn’t what he had in mind, and he said he was only taking the time off if we went somewhere, anywhere. We took a trip to visit family, which satisfied both of us.
Have fun doing whatever you decide to do.
Sharon | March 10th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Mir - you are a wonderful mother and wife. We know that you try very hard to balance the work/life strategy, and it is never easy. But, some time for just you and Otto would be so good for both of you. There does come a time that you really do need to put the computers and phones away and just really enjoy each other. This does not have to be a trip that takes you far from home, or costs a lot of money. Wherever you you go and whatever you decide to do - have fun!!!
cheryl | March 10th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Maybe Otto can slip something into your drink to relax you. Kidding! Kinda.
Brigitte | March 11th, 2009 at 8:00 am
Mir, try and look at it this way: you work as hard as you do precisely so you CAN slip away with your husband when the kids are away. The emotional, marriage-nurturing payoffs of these getaways are priceless, not “frivolous” (and the monetary costs are cheaper than therapy or divorce). If we don’t put our marriages first once in a while, what will we be left with? A bank account to keep us warm? I’m as freaked out by the economy as anyone…but over the course of our working lives, we will earn enough to weather these storms. Leisure travel is down. Deals are everywhere. Go!
Jeannie | March 11th, 2009 at 8:43 am
You are all so kind, and so wise. There’s a pony in the mail for each and every one of you.
Mir | March 11th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Go! Enjoy yourself! Drink some wine and relax for a couple of days! Your marriage is important too.
Robyn | March 11th, 2009 at 10:51 am
What’s the point of working if we’re never living??
Enjoy!
Renee Taylor | March 11th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
When you find that magic potion, I’ll invest in your upstart brewing business. It’ll sell like wildfire!
Daisy | March 14th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Just be sure to increase your 2009 estimated quarterly tax payments to keep up with the gobs of money you’re going to make with your late-night infomercial…
RuthWells | March 17th, 2009 at 5:42 pm