Cornered Office
with Mir Kamin
I'm a freelance writer and mother of two working from home, which theoretically means I can set my own schedule so as to best accommodate my family. In reality, "flexible hours" often equals "working too much." Yes, I'm my own boss; no, that doesn't mean life is easy. It's hard to leave the office when you live there. But I love what I do and feel very lucky. And not just because I get paid to work in my pajamas.
To learn more about Mir, check out her profile on Work It, Mom! or visit her blog at http://www.wouldashoulda.com/
Classroom tell-alls about blogging
Categories: Like talking but with more typing, Now I'm free(lancing)
Every now and then I’m asked to come give a little guest lecture at my local university, and I enjoy doing this because it tickles me to no end that anyone would find me an expert on anything. Also, many college students seem to regard professional bloggers as something roughly on par with unicorns—everyone’s heard of them, but they are regarded as mythical, for the most part.
And then I show up. And I’m neither flashy and glamorous nor some big, fat unwashed hermit who rarely leaves her desk. I look like… an unremarkable, regular person. Probably because I am. I didn’t set out to be a blogger; I didn’t go to school to learn how to do this. And yet, I make my living behind the laptop, and they find that interesting.
Every time I go in to do this, I wonder what to tell them. I’m headed in to a class again this morning, and I’m sitting here pondering what to say.
The truth is that I had no idea this was where I would end up, when I started blogging, five years ago. I can’t give them a glimpse of the “magic formula” because I’m not sure that there is one… or if there is, I stumbled into it by accident.
The truth is that this is a pretty cool way to make a living, but also that it’s not for everyone. I set my own schedule, but I find it difficult to ever really take a vacation or otherwise take a break from working. I get to work from home in my pajamas, but I don’t get any benefits like sick days or a company 401k.
The truth is that sometimes I get paid a lot and sometimes I don’t get paid nearly enough. I’ve made wonderful friends and gained some fabulous colleagues, but sometimes people who read my blogs assume that they know me and (as a result) cross boundaries in ways that make me uncomfortable. Freelancing means a kind of freedom that you simply cannot have with a more conventional job, but also means a constant level of uncertainty about future employment.
The truth is that good writing is important, but it’s not the only thing. A person can find success in this business as a mediocre writer who’s an impressive self-marketer, but even the greatest writer in the world will never succeed in blogging without some basic marketing acumen. A lot of it is networking, and timing, and chance. I personally believe a good chunk of it is karma, too.
The truth is that the balancing act between sharing enough of yourself to make a blog compelling and holding back enough to protect your life and your family’s privacy is really difficult, forever. That part doesn’t get easier.
The truth is that I don’t know that I would recommend this life to anyone straight out of college. Had I done this when I was that age, I shudder to think of the mistakes I probably would’ve made. But the truth is also that just because I wouldn’t recommend it, doesn’t mean that it’s a bad idea.
The truth is that I work hard, but I’ve also been very, very lucky. If I can figure out how to bottle that up into a neat little 45-minute lecture, I assume I’ll soon be rich! Heh.
The truth is that I always worry, after a lecture, that the students feel like I haven’t told them anything new or useful. I guess that even if I’m able to demystify the blogging life, a little, that I’ve done my job.
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I am officially old for playing the nothing-comes-free card, but what I’ve found as a writer/blogger is that everyone gets stars in their eyes over the stuff that sounds fun (in my case, eating at restaurants for free). And yet no one remembers that eating for free does not pay for my mortgage, my babysitter, my car payment, insurance, vacations, or everyday food shopping at Publix. Or that I have to cook a meal for my family so that I can go out to enjoy that meal on my own.
Same with working in PJs — it sounds so fun and comfy! And yet last year I worked in sweats and PJs because I was working so hard that I’d get up at 4:00 AM and write and write and write and invoice while doing my best to take care of a preschooler and very fussy, non-sleeping baby. Getting dressed and taking a shower was a luxury last summer. I was lucky to get 5 hours of sleep, and that lasted for over a year.
I think the road to writing success lies firmly in treating your work like a business — which in turn means that you have to know yourself and the needs of your own family (financial, emotional, physical, etc) first. In other words, it’s not just about having a gift for writing or a lot of experience in social media. But I’m wondering if I would have listened to that advice as a college student….
Melissa D | May 26th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
This may be the first time these college students have heard the view of someone who blogs for a living. I think you are the perfect person, Mir, to introduce someone to the pros and cons, the ups and downs. Anyone who is listening with take away something new.
Sharon | May 26th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Great points, Melissa!
And Sharon, they seemed a little sleepy, but hopefully it was useful for them.
Mir | May 26th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Whatever you do, don’t forget to tell them about the buckets. You know, for all the money…
Lylah | May 26th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Yer mighty purdy . . . oops, did I just cross a boundary there?
Brigitte | May 27th, 2009 at 8:36 am
It’s funny you mention readers who think they know you and, thus, cross boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed by strangers. One major reason I don’t blog as often as I do is related to this: people assumed that what I put on my blog was everything about me, which led to some very strange interactions with people who didn’t really know me. Long story short, I met my now-husband through blogging (very long story cut very short there…), and some people who were somewhat acquainted with him personally in real life (but mainly knew him through what he wrote on his blog at the time as well) but knew me only via blog made some interesting assumptions about who I was and what they knew about me (and my now-husband, then-best-friend). How do you write about your life without people assuming your blog is you, all you, and nothing but you?
I apologize for picking up only this one thing when you’ve hit on so many more good and bad aspects of blogging for a living, but this is one that really hit close to home. What do you do when some bloggers DO become closer to you (as friends, etc.) and the readers of both of your blogs assume they know you (or both of you) really well? How have you handled this situation when it crops up?
jess | May 29th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Jess: That’s a really interesting sidebar, actually!
The short version is that I assume most people realize this is (necessarily) only a small slice of my life that I share. Those who don’t get that aren’t likely to be open to education otherwise, and I generally just side-step them as best I can.
Mir | May 30th, 2009 at 7:08 am
You know what, Mir? I think you are very right about the educable ones are the ones who already know — at least from my own personal experience. The same people who overstepped in that area overstepped in other areas as well (blog-wise), so I suppose they are just generally “that kind” of person. ;~)
jess | May 31st, 2009 at 9:55 pm