Today I’m heading back to your questions to me again, to address one of my favorite topics. Today let’s talk about Sharon’s question, because this is one of those “everyone knows you’re supposed to do it, but very few people are sure how you do it” sorts of things. She asked:

I would also like to hear about networking - who, when, where, and how. At what point did you start “Want Not” and how did you publicize that website? In general, how do you market yourself?

When I worked in an office and had a boss who had a boss who had a boss who had a boss, I never really needed to toot my own horn. I was not required to find work for myself, and—generally speaking—if I did good work, my colleagues and boss would convey that to others without any additional effort on my part being required. The biggest mental shift required for me in starting my own business was the realization that if I didn’t sell myself, no one else would. If I want work, I need to pursue it. And if I want a good reputation, I have to build it myself… not just through doing good work, but also through discarding humility and self-effacement and being unafraid to not just toot my own horn, but assemble my own marching band.

Okay, that may have taken that metaphor a little too far. But you (hopefully) get the point.

It’s tricky, when you first start out, because you don’t have a lot of experience and you don’t want to look/sound cocky and naive. This is why I always emphasis that those just starting down this road take a two-pronged approach: First, get some experience as quickly as you can—do pro bono work for a non-profit, write a few articles for your local free paper, whatever—and at the same time, have your (professionally done) business card at the ready absolutely any time it might be appropriate to share. You want to be a writer? Tell people you’re a writer. Talk the talk, walk the walk. Don’t be obnoxious about it, but if you’re at a cocktail party or whatever and talk turns to business, do share that you’re a freelance writer and you’re always looking for more connections, and here, take my card, you just never know. Also join organizations which are likely to forward your goals; go to blogging conferences, if you’re hoping to land paid blogging gigs, but also consider your local business group options. Nearly ever city has a “Women in Business” association or something similar, and that can be a great place to start making connections, particularly if you’re new to the game.

Once you have some experience, the networking really isn’t all that different—you still want to have your business cards on hand (and they should display the URL of your professional-looking website, which of course you have, because you’re serious about this), you still want to pursue conferences and business gatherings where you might meet folks who can either hire or mentor you, but there is a subtle difference once you’re no longer a newbie. When I go to conferences and such, now, I’m still looking for work (I’m always looking for work; just one of the joys of being a freelancer), but rather than spending my time talking up the opportunities I’m seeking, I also try to position myself as an expert. Now, it can be tricky to balance self-confidence with not looking like a smarmy jackass. I’m sad to say that I have plenty of colleagues who tip into that latter category. My strategy is generally to join the conversation in a way that conveys I have the experience to back up what I’m saying, but also that shows I realize this is not the only way or that I’m right and everyone else is wrong.

Example:
Good: “Oh, well the way we handled that at XYZ was to implement ABC, which I think turned out to be successful because it had results DEF. I bet that something similar would work for you, too. What do you think?”
Bad: “Well of course that failed. The only right way to to achieve DEF is through ABC, like I did at XYZ. Obviously.”

In other words: You can be confident without being a jerk. Basic rules of courtesy apply.

I’ll even go one better: The most common networking failure I witness when I go to conferences is that some freelancers don’t even bother talking to people who aren’t clearly in a position to hire them. That’s a rookie mistake and it always amazes me. For one thing, you can learn a lot from colleagues (read: fellow freelancers) if you’re willing to view them as your cohort rather than as your competition. And even if you insist on viewing them as the competition… don’t you want to know what they’re up to, when formulating your game plan? Of course you do! And for another thing, networking is all about “what if”s. The nice woman at the conference whose company isn’t in need of your services right now but who is fascinated by what you do and wants to chat may be in a position to hire you in six months or a year. Or she may talk to a colleague at another company who says, “You know, I wish I could find someone who…” and she’ll say, “I met just the person for you at a conference last month. Let me give you her email address.” You just never know. And finally, when I see fellow freelancers who don’t give the time of day to anyone but potential clients? I notice. Those are people who don’t know how to Play Nice. Some clients don’t care if you can Play Nice, but guess what—a lot of them do. And they notice, too.

It is possible to be successful and be a jerk. But I posit that it’s a lot easier to be successful when you’re not. And anyone who tries to tell you that basic courtesy and interpersonal skills aren’t essential to marketing yourself is doing you a disservice.

This brings us to Want Not and how I essentially launched a giant gamble of a project and got the word out about it. Here’s what I did: Two years after starting Woulda Coulda Shoulda—so when I was already an established blogger—I got Want Not all put together and I started posting. I told just a few people about it, initially. And then when the kinks had been worked out and I felt like it was ready, I got out my megaphone.

I posted about it on my personal blog. I sent it out in an email blast to folks in my address book. I hand-picked a list of influential bloggers with whom I have a good working relationship (see why it pays to Play Nice?) and sent out an email that basically said, “Hey, I know you’re busy, and if you’re up for this, awesome, and if not, no worries. But I just started a new site and I’d love to get the word out—if you could give it a mention I would be eternally grateful.” (Many of those folks were happy to oblige, and I’ve returned the favor whenever I could.) I linked it on Facebook. I tweeted about it. I listed it in blog directories. I gave a few interviews to appropriate outlets.

In other words, I stood up and said, “Hey, guess what. I happen to be really good at saving money. I’m so good at it, I decided to devote an entire site to it. And if you come check it out, I’ve pretty much set it up so that you can save money, too, without doing very much work. Doesn’t that sound awesome?”

Today, Want Not gets more traffic than my personal blog. It has taken off in ways I hadn’t even dared to hope for when I started it. But I’ll tell you what—it never would’ve happened if I hadn’t been willing to say “I’m good at this.”

So what are your key takeaways from this?
1) Every interaction is a marketing opportunity (just try to gauge it appropriately; neither blow it off nor oversell).
2) Kindness, courtesy and cooperation are always good investments in the future.
3) Don’t be afraid to embrace and share your expertise, and to be your own best PR.
4) Don’t be afraid to ask others to trumpet for you as well. If you have good networking (or client) relationships with folks, they’re generally happy to help.

Confidence is key. Do good work, treat others the way you’d like to be treated, and confidence should be the natural result. I have spare pom-poms here if anyone needs ‘em.