BlogHer 2010—just in case you’ve been living under a rock—is happening later this week. It’s a big conference. Huge. And of the previous five years of BlogHer and BlogHer Business conferences, I’ve been in attendance at four of them.

But this year I’m not going. And I’m totally okay with that.

I mean, in the last couple of weeks I started reading about it everywhere. People panicking about what to wear. What to pack. Whether they’d embarrass themselves. And as I read through the blogosphere’s collective angst I smugly said to myself, “Well. Thank goodness that’s not me. All those neuroses in one place? I certainly dodged a bullet, there.” And I went on my merry way, happy to be staying home.

But then I started reading blog posts and tweets from folks I adore. People I already know and haven’t seen in a long time, who will be in New York in a few days, and I won’t be there. And people I’ve never met, but wish I could, who will be in New York in a few days, and I’m missing the chance to meet them.

And suddenly I started feeling like I was Jan in that episode of The Brady Bunch where she gets herself good and worked up and into a snit over how everything is always about Marsha. And if I’m being totally honest, I was surprised to find myself feeling that way.

Because, look. I’m an introvert. I don’t enjoy huge masses of people. And although I’ve done BlogHer before and gotten a lot of good things out of it, it exhausts and even sometimes frustrates me. I go to conferences to network, most often to also work work, and although there are enjoyable bits, it’s never my favorite way to spend my time. I’m perfectly happy hanging out in my home office with my dog, versus being squashed amongst several thousand people, some of whom have gotten extremely drunk because they have confused a conference with a fraternity party.

So I’m glad I’m not going.

But. But. There are people I wish I could see. There’s the nagging feeling that I’m missing some opportunities by not going. And there’s the fervent wish that everyone would just stop blogging about BlogHer, already, although, hello Kettle! Pot’s the name and apparently hypocrisy is my game.

I remind myself that I made the decision not to go for good and valid reasons which still stand. We’re in the throes of back-to-school, here (yes, already), and this would be the worst possible time for me to be away. I’ve been sick this week, too, so if I had to get an airplane tomorrow I’d probably cry.

So there’s nothing for it but to soldier on and make my peace with people talking about it until the post-conference drama all plays out and blows over. That means at least a couple more weeks of All BlogHer, All The Time. Probably I am going to miss some things I’ll wish I hadn’t. And probably I am also much better off not being there, and my relief about staying home should be the predominant emotion I indulge right now.

Getting ready for BlogHer? Feeling left out because you’re not going? You know how that annoying “staycation” term became popular this year? Maybe those of us left behind should organize a stayference for the conference experience at home. Wear your pajamas and be ready to clink coffee cups over Skype, I guess. Heh.