Cornered Office
with Mir Kamin
I'm a freelance writer and mother of two working from home, which theoretically means I can set my own schedule so as to best accommodate my family. In reality, "flexible hours" often equals "working too much." Yes, I'm my own boss; no, that doesn't mean life is easy. It's hard to leave the office when you live there. But I love what I do and feel very lucky. And not just because I get paid to work in my pajamas.
To learn more about Mir, check out her profile on Work It, Mom! or visit her blog at http://www.wouldashoulda.com/
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I don’t know if you know this, but I’m kind of a big deal.
Writing that makes me laugh. A few weeks ago I met up with some friends for coffee, and met another parent from my daughter’s school for the first time. When she asked me what I do, before I could respond, one of my friends said, “She’s a famous blogger!” I laughed and leaned in, conspiratorially.
“It’s true,” I said. “I am totally famous… on the Internet.” We all had a good laugh.
There is a reason I write for a living, from my home office. There’s a reason I don’t often tell people what I do. I enjoy relative anonymity, here in my small(ish) town. And that’s the way I like it. I think it would be a drag to have people recognize me at Publix while I’m trying to select a cantaloupe. I have friends and colleagues who are much more “known” than I am, and that suits me just fine.
Perhaps it’s because I generally enjoy flying below the radar that receiving an award makes me feel… kind of bad.
This weekend, Babble.com announced their Top 50 Mom Blogs for 2010. For the second year in a row (last year was their first year doing the list), my personal blog not only made the list, but was pegged as their top pick for “Most Confessional.” (For the second year in a row, my first reaction was the same: “How in the world is this not Heather?)
Anyway. It’s an honor, and I am touched to be in such awesome company on the list. Of course. It’s a little surreal for me, because when it comes to other blog awards, I am never a contender. Which is fine. I’m just not… one of those bloggers whose readers are all “we are going to vote for you until our fingers fall off!” or whatever. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) But the point is that I don’t win stuff when it comes to popular vote, because I generally eschew campaigning, plus I am simply not of the same rock-star caliber as the folks who do win those things.
So. Babble has humbled me for the second year in a row, and down in my soft pink parts of my mostly-blackened heart, I am deeply pleased to be appreciated.
But. As soon as the list came out, the complaints started. Twitter is a great place to watch people kvetch, by the way (second only to Facebook).
“Oh look, it’s a Babble list with all the same people on it, AGAIN.”
“Guess who’s NOT on the Babble list? Oh yeah!”
“How about Babble comes up with a list of unknown bloggers? I’ll be first!”
“Know what would be awesome? If anyone paid some attention to THE REST OF THE BLOGOSPHERE.”
Etc.
I get it; sometimes it does feel like the same people are recognized over and over. I’m just not entirely sure what people not on the list are thinking they’re missing out on. I got… a badge! And a warm fuzzy feeling for the 7.5 minutes between when I found out and when people started bitching about the list. I’m sorry if people are feeling hurt about not being included (seriously). I’m even more sorry if people assume that being on the list—particularly for those of us who were on the list last year—is some weird kind of default for “the elite” and automatically taints our cred. I don’t think that’s true, either. It’s just a list. I am just a writer doing what I do, as (I assume) are the other 49 writers on the list, and the countless masses of awesome bloggers out there who aren’t on the list.
(Liz had the greatest response ever to this, by the way. Love that woman.)
I don’t want to have to apologize for being recognized. And I don’t want people to feel bad, either. I just want to do my thing, and you do your thing, and we all recognize that sometimes a badge is just a badge. That badge and a buck will get me a cup of crappy coffee, y’know?
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don’t apologize for being great. be humble (which you absolutely are) but don’t apologize. and sometimes awards get it right — two years in a row!
KMayer | November 9th, 2010 at 6:57 am
My favorite comment on my post was from Nicole from Momtrends.com. She wrote
I’m happy living in my blissful little momtrends bubble. We plug along doing good work and that is reward enough–plus I get to work from home. This job rocks far too much to worry about rankings.
When I grow up I want to be her.
(And psst - congrats Mir. You are an awesome writer and you work your ass off at it, and you deserve to be acknowledged for what you do so well.)
Mom101 | November 9th, 2010 at 9:28 am
Absolutely no apology necessary. I read lots of Mom blogs and yours is always tops on my list. I don’t have a Mom blog, so I think I am unbiased. And I agreed with most of Babble’s list…except, how could they not know Chris Jordan moved more than a year ago???
Anyway…congrats Mir. Well deserved.
Jennifer Joyner | November 9th, 2010 at 9:50 am
What you got, though, was recognition. Which was AWESOME and you are AWESOME and YAY.
But having the same handful of people recognized over and over again is exhausting to those of us in the audience. I’m not sad that I wasn’t included or feeling like I missed out on something, I’m annoyed at being told that a very small section of the Internet is the only thing worth reading. Over and over and over again.
But the annoyance is not AT ALL with you or anyone else on the list. It’s with the people who benefit from creating these kinds of things in the first place.
Miss Britt | November 9th, 2010 at 4:43 pm
You are all awesome, by the way. Just wanted to mention that.
Britt: I totally hear you. What’s the solution? I’m asking seriously. Do away with the lists? Only allow people to be listed who’ve never been listed before? I mean, I really don’t know. And I hate that it’s icky for anyone, for any reason.
Mir | November 9th, 2010 at 4:45 pm
I think these can be a bit arbitrary anyway (I mean, no one in the world can read EVERY blog and know every blogger, right?), so just let the people who are able to be recognized enjoy it for ten minutes. I haven’t looked at this list yet this year (I remember looking last year), but I’m sure each person on it has worked his/her tail off to provide good blog content. Are there others who work just as hard, if not harder? Sure. It’s just like writing a book, though: I’ve discovered little-known books that have knocked my socks completely off, and I’ve wondered why those books aren’t known around the world. I’ve read big-name books where I end up wondering why anyone in the world has actually completed that drivel (although I completed it because I always have the thought in my head, “What if it gets better?”, so maybe others do that, too). Not all great and potentially transformative writers will even make it into print, even if they want to, and not all who make it into print will be widely recognized for their wonderful talent. That’s the nature of a world with seven billion people in it other than you.
I’ve read your blog for years, and I can honestly say you are one that I still enjoy reading day after day. Yours is probably the blog that I’ve read the longest and the most consistently, and it’s the only blog I went back and read the archives when I first started reading it years ago. You deserve all the accolades that you get, even if you try to “aw shucks” it away, because you are a wonderful, gifted, talented writer who also takes time to work at her writing to make it even better. What’s more, you also take the time to try to help others “make it” in the freelancing business.
Generally, those who are most well known will be those who are most recognized, and that’s the way the world works — as a whole, honestly, isn’t that the way the world and media work? (Okay, shutting up now.)
Jessica | November 9th, 2010 at 9:02 pm
Also, love Liz’s take. (And I agree about Yvonne’s blog.)
Jessica | November 9th, 2010 at 9:09 pm
You know I was Happy Happy to read some of my favorite bloggers on the list, but disappointed that some folks seem to get on these lists by default. Then, I realized lists are arbitrary. The unfortunate thing about the lists is that they provide fodder for those who would turn the world of blogging into a high school contest. (I also hate the voting cotests and the please to Vote for Meee!)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I like having a small audience because I can say what I want and do what I want and nobody leaves me negative comments or tells me how bad a mom I am.
elz | November 10th, 2010 at 10:23 am