You know how they say that “In space, no one can hear you scream?”

This week I’ve amended that to: “In your home office, no one can see you sneaking Sour Patch Kids fifteen times a day.”

I’m ashamed. Yes. I really am. Also: I’m eating Sour Patch Kids. Right now, as I type this. I’m desperately hoping that outing my addiction will help me to break it.

And I know that working in an office doesn’t make you immune to poor snacking choices. Heck, I worked in one office that had a fully stocked kitchen of junk food at all times, and I remember lamenting that they kept food around I would never buy at home, that I then found myself eating. The snack trap certainly isn’t limited to working with others or working at home. It’s not even limited to Halloween-time, thought this is pretty much the only time we’ll have candy in the house.

No, my problem is that I’m terrible at moderation and there’s no one here to see me.

Even in the office with all the food, there were, you know, other people around me all the time. So did I eat cookies? Yes. Yes, I did. Did I eat them all day long? Of course not, because people would’ve seen me and assumed I was an enormous pig and a total freak and talked about me behind my back. Or so I convinced myself. So I would take a cookie (or two) and then stop.

Here, at home, alone all day, with my office right off the kitchen, I’m trying to relearn self-control. Because in an effort to convince my children that we could skip trick-or-treating this year, I bought an enormous sack of Sour Patch Kids and we all enjoyed them very much. Our night of full-family Sour Patch Overload barely made a dent in the sack, though. And so for a week I have been munching on candy while I work.

I need to stop.

I’ve read about work-at-home folks packing their snacks and lunch right alongside their kids’ each morning, to help boost mindfulness and do portion control. At lunchtime, simply remove the meal from the fridge and enjoy. If it’s not a snack you “packed,” don’t eat it. I think that’s a great idea if you’re already very good at controlling yourself.

I’ve read that you can snack on whatever you want, but you can never take the package to your desk. Only what fits in your hand! Well, that’s fine. A handful of Sour Patch Kids is kind of a lot, actually, and if I finish them and want more, well, I go get another handful. I’m terribly resourceful that way. Needless to say, that approach isn’t really helping me, either.

Short of getting rid of the rest of the candy (which is the next step), I’m not sure how to break this cycle. And let’s face it—once the candy is gone, I’ll just snack on something else. While carrots would be healthier, the bigger issue is that I don’t need to be eating all day long. It’s a terrible habit and I don’t do it when my family’s around, only when I’m here alone.

Am I the only one who seems to snack endlessly when there’s no one around to see? Or am I just weird?

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