Cornered Office
with Mir Kamin
I'm a freelance writer and mother of two working from home, which theoretically means I can set my own schedule so as to best accommodate my family. In reality, "flexible hours" often equals "working too much." Yes, I'm my own boss; no, that doesn't mean life is easy. It's hard to leave the office when you live there. But I love what I do and feel very lucky. And not just because I get paid to work in my pajamas.
To learn more about Mir, check out her profile on Work It, Mom! or visit her blog at http://www.wouldashoulda.com/
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‘Tis the season for my otherwise relatively peaceful slumber to be interrupted in one of three ways:
1) I can’t sleep. I toss and turn, thinking about all of the things I need to be doing.
2) I don’t go to sleep when I should, because I have too much work to do.
or
3) I fall asleep, and dream that I’m working. I wake up tired and grumpy.
The most wonderful time of the year? Uh, maybe for someone else. For me, pretty much the entire window from Thanksgiving to New Year’s is when I wish I did anything other than freelance. It’s a busy time for me, anyway, but the lack of vacation when my cube-farm friends are kicking back for a week or two is hard. And when my kids are off school and I feel like I’m chained to my desk, that’s hard, too.
I know. Wah wah wah.
I chose this life, and 95% of the time, I love it. Nevertheless, Burnout often feels imminent during the month of December, for me. So how do I get through? It’s all in the little things.
My mother and I have what’s become, at least to me, something of a joke of an ongoing back-and-forth at this time of year. We talk, she hears how stressed out I am, and she suggests that I take some time off and go get a massage. Haaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahha!
She’s just trying to help, and it’s a great suggestion, but I never do it. And probably I never will do it. I’m loathe to spend the money, and the one time of year when I need that massage the most is the very time when I can’t afford the time it would take. So she suggests, I say “Oh that’s a great idea, I’ll get right on that in my copious spare time!”, we both laugh, she tells me I really should, and I say I’ll consider it.
And then I never do it, for the aforementioned reasons.
So what to do? We’re talking about 4-5 week long chunk of time when I have very little free time, when I’m overworked and tired and trying to spend what little non-work time I have with my family. Over the years I’ve learned to do a few small things to help get me through these weeks.
I use good-quality scented body lotion. Does this seem like a ridiculous item? It is, kind of. I never spring for the fancy stuff except around the holidays; the rest of the time I use plain ol’ drugstore lotion and call it good. But during this crunch time, it takes me no extra time to put on the “good” lotion after I shower (said shower usually not happening until lunchtime, and feeling like the best part of my day when it does), and I get little whiffs of it for the rest of the day. I tend to pick calming scents like lavender, but I think whatever you like is a good choice if it makes you happier. It makes me happier.
I eat chocolate during the day. Despite trying to curb my snacking during the workday, this time of year I buy some dark chocolate—individually wrapped, smallish pieces—and have one piece every afternoon. (Often I’ll map out my schedule for the day and figure out what I have to complete before I’m allowed my treat.) (I wrote that sentence and then laughed out loud. Apparently I’m a very obedient dog!) Hey, if it’s a bad day, maybe I have an extra piece. It’s not going to kill me.
Even on the busiest days, I block off at least one solid hour to spend away from my desk. I’m not good at keeping up with, say, an exercise regime when I’m swamped, but as that hour (or more) is usually dinner with the family and other time with the kids, I make sure it happens. They need me and I need the break.
I forgive myself for letting other things go. The house is a mess and the laundry’s piling up. Know what? No one ever died from a little clutter and a few chores left undone. The rest of the family pitches in a little more and a little less gets done, and we all survive. I refuse to feel bad about it.
I play with the dog. My pup is a little bit of furry stress-relief, and when I find myself really keyed up during a hard day, I get down on the floor for a minute or two with Licorice. It takes very little time, she loves it, and I think it’s the quickest way I’ve found to blow off a little steam.
What little thing do you do to keep the stress at bay? Or do you just take my mom’s advice and go get a massage??
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During busy times, I find it helps to think of it as “my busy time” or “my busy season”: each previous in-a-building job I’ve had has had a busy time/season, so it feels familiar and fair that I would have one in my at-home job as well.
I notice you mention your cubical friends having 1 or 2 weeks off, and my guess is that that’s a huge part of the issue—like when a society is perfectly happy with it’s level of wealth, until it sees what a neighboring society has. I don’t much struggle with this, because when I had in-a-building jobs I always had 1-2 days off (and in retail jobs, the days around those days were particularly awful and busy and I always had to work Christmas Eve); my dad was an in-the-cubical writer for most of his career and he got 1-2 days off at Christmas; my husband has an office job and he gets 1-2 days off. So that really helps: in my circle, no one else is having a long vacation while I’m still slaving away. That’s the part that would kill me, I think.
Since November is the month that a lot of people do that daily-posting game, I’ve found I can take a break before things get holiday-busy and no one even notices I’m posting way less. Having a little rest while everyone else is working can also improve my attitude later when I’m working and they’re resting.
I do the lotion thing, too! I like Bath & Body Works lavender-vanilla. I also have French perfume that I like to wear when I’m feeling otherwise haggard and under-primped.
I also run. Not like people usually say (”Just take an hour every day to exercise!! You’ll feel so much better!!”), but as in “from my desk to the kitchen, if I’m going that route anyway.” Stress makes me feel in a hurry anyway, and the little 2-second runnings seem to perk me up. Plus, they make the kids laugh.
Swistle | November 30th, 2011 at 8:12 am
I like Swistle’s running plan! LOL! Cute! And I bet it’s effective.
I started Couch-5K on Monday. Partly because I’ve been wanting to try it, but partly to help me through the holidays when I ALWAYS stress out (not so much about work but about everything else). And I’m only telling you here, because I’m trying to tell LOTS of people so that I’ll be accountable.
But back to YOU: I saw a lady at my office yesterday, just standing outside the front of the building. I thought, “Hm. Kinda weird. I wonder if she’s just taking a break?” But why is that weird? And what a good idea! Especially in this cold weather, I bet that 5 minutes of fresh air, and letting her mind wander, were really helpful. A “smoke break” without the smoke. Think I’m going to have to try that.
el-e-e | November 30th, 2011 at 2:27 pm