Whenever someone wants to talk to me about my career as a writer, they invariably want to know how I got started, what my plan was, and/or if I “always knew” I wanted to write.

I seem to end up answering these questions in bits and pieces. Have I “always” been a writer? Sure, if you count journaling, rambling letters and/or emails, and the fact that I’ve always enjoyed putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). It’s something I’ve always done in one form or another. But did I always plan to be a writer? Of course not. That’s not a practical career goal, you know. No, when I went to college, I planned to be an actress.

Stop laughing.

It’s true. Right up until my senior year, my plan was to get my degree in theater and then move to New York City and go on cattle calls until I hit it big and lived happily ever after. Or something. Only, I discovered that I had no desire to live in New York City (or any other giant city), and also that I probably didn’t have the patience and perseverance to try to “make it in the biz” when I’d already spent years being told by my theater professors that I wasn’t pretty enough to get good roles, anyway. (This is true—both that I was told that, and that it was the truth.)
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Those of us in the writing profession love lists. We love how-tos, must-dos, and both bulleted and numbered lists of things to avoid, steps to take, and ways to flourish in this biz. It makes sense, I guess… but I always find myself coming back to the idea that it’s good to know the rules, so that you can decide when you want to break them.

It boils down to this: There’s rarely just One True Way to do something. If you’re a newbie and you’re trying to learn the ropes of the business, by all means, read the lists. Take notes, even. But remember that people are people, which is to say that people are different and make different choices, and what’s the right path for someone else may not be the right path for you.

Learn the rules so that you can figure out which ones you don’t intend to follow. Because I promise that—just as following them all doesn’t guarantee you success—breaking a few doesn’t spell your doom, just so long as you’re mindful about what you do and don’t want to do.
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(Oh, don’t worry. I’m not really going to bust out into song; no one wants that.)

For years I’ve written here about the intricacies of balancing life and mothering and work, and agonized over the time I spend building my business vs. nurturing my marriage and/or being a wholly present mother to my children. For years I’ve talked about how you get out of your business what you put into it, and how “just cruising along” might work in a corporate job, but in freelancing it means stagnation and less work.

I’m a big believer in life handing you the lessons you need to learn. And it would appear that I needed a lesson in work being less important than my family.

Lucky (?) me!
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