Back in the early days of blogging (you know, when dinosaurs roamed the earth) (kidding; more like about a decade ago), there was this constant conversation about audience and boundaries. Personal blogging was a new beast; no one knew for sure how much it was okay to share. Some advocated total honesty, others feared some sort of mysterious backlash that could only come of reckless secret-telling.

I sort of feel like we’ve come full circle. That conversation was a constant, for a while, and then it kind of petered out as people blogged about things other than their personal lives—and those who did blog about their lives figured out how to set workable boundaries—and now I see it coming up again in different ways.

A few months ago when BlogHer was soliciting panel proposals, I was approached about being a panel about blogging about your special needs kid’s school. Our panel was not selected, unfortunately, which is a shame because I think it would’ve been really interesting. More and more you hear about unintended repercussions particularly among those of us in the IEP/special education trenches, and I was eager to hear others’ stories on the topic. Of course, at the time, no one at my son’s school was reading my blog, so it was kind of theoretical for me.
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I’ve written before about the challenges that face any freelancer who attempts to take a vacation; unlike those who work salaried jobs, freelancers can (theoretically) take vacation whenever they want. The problem, of course, is that salaried positions limit vacation time, but then you are (usually) not expected to do any work while exercising said vacation days. I can go wherever I want, whenever I want, and if I have my computer, I can work.

The problem is that it’s very hard not to do that. It’s very rare for me to stop working entirely even while “on vacation,” and most of my fellow freelancers suffer from the same malady. All work and no play may make Jack a dull boy, but if Jack was a freelancer writer I suspect all work and no play would make Jack a burned out, bitter person. Just a guess.

I’ve taken several different approaches to various vacations over the years, from killing myself for up to a month beforehand to get work done ahead of time (stressful!) to just telling clients I will be unavailable and giving up income for some time period (also stressful!). This time, I’m winging it.
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You would think there would come a time when seriously misguided PR outreach would stop happening, but you would be wrong. It’s the gift that keeps on giving! No sooner does one crop of so-called professionals figure out that they’re being rightfully taunted, then another group steps in to take their place. It’s the circle of life, or something.

This is our cross to bear, as freelancers. There is always someone out there who figures we are just dying to work for them for free. I mean, that’s how you make a living, right? Giving away your hard work for the heck of it?

… no?

Honestly, most of the time I get this sort of “pitch” these days, I just delete the email. It takes time and energy to explain, over and over, why it’s insulting and ridiculous to be asked to work for no pay. So most of the time, I just let it go. For some reason, today I took the bait.
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(Pictured here: Much happier teens than the ones currently living with me. Clearly they’re actors.)

When my children were preschoolers/young elementary age, I remember thinking that I would give any amount of money to have ten—heck, five—uninterrupted minutes to myself while they were awake. Little kids are a lot of work. They’re demanding; they need you constantly. They can’t make their own food, they need help with dressing, bathing, packing up for school, doing homework, just about everything. They need close supervision so that they don’t attempt to “fly” off the kitchen counter (my son) or flush random objects down the toilet “just because” (my daughter).

Little kids are exhausting.

Working from home and parenting little kids is an exercise in constant frustration. When I first started freelancing, I never worked while the kids were home and awake. It just wasn’t possible. I did some work while they were at school, then finished after they went to bed. That was just the only way to make it happen.
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The harsh realities of my life right now are… less than ideal. I am still struggling with a continuing kid health crisis on the home front, and the havoc that’s wreaking on my career. Things get better, I start trying to get back to working more, then things get worse and I work even less, etc. [Pro tip: I find that I simply cannot recommend chronic illness as a "growing experience." I'd rather we have a little less personal growth and a little more feeling like life is manageable, thanks.]

Professionally, I am scaling back on everything (again!) and begging for mercy from my clients (again!) and feeling very much like a failure because I can’t seem to find my equilibrium. Personally, i am worried sick (literally, though my health issues are paltry compared to what my kid is facing), exhausted, and feeling like a terrible mother because I can’t fix this. And yes, logically, I know it’s not for me to fix. Emotionally—particularly when, say, my child is crying “FIX IT!”—I feel like… a failure. (Do you see a pattern emerging, here?)

So rather than focusing on the (rotten) reality, I thought a bit of fantasy would be more fun.
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