Last week I stopped writing.

Not completely, of course. I have clients, I have contractual work to deliver. I continued writing where I had to. I continued writing about the things that matter less to me; stuff that has nothing to do with how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking.

For almost eight years I’ve maintained a personal blog, and it’s been my refuge to work out my talky impulses when it comes to sorting through things. That blog has seen me through the majority of my kids’ lives (and trials and tribulations therein), several romantic relationships (and lack thereof), remarriage, relocation, everything. Everything. Before that, I journaled. For most of my life. Writing about my life has been central to my existence for a long time.

And last week I looked at the “New Post” screen and just couldn’t do it.
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There’s a school of thought that says that information is best conveyed in a numbered list of items. (I’ve also read/heard that those lists should always contain an odd number of items, but that may be a bit more controversial.) As a lifelong rambler who never writes a sentence when a half-dozen paragraphs will do, the list thing isn’t something I do too often. (I should probably try doing it more.) I do find it a fabulous way to garner lots of little informational tidbits in a short amount of time, though.

Translation: I am not succinct, but I appreciate it when others are. Heh.

Anyway, in the spirit of the whole new-year-self-improvement kind of thing, I figured that as January is winding down, now, I’d direct you to a few master list-makers who’ve piqued my interest lately. If you’re looking for the best bang-for-your-buck mileage out of some blogging advice, check out these lists from people smarter—and more succinct—than I:
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I feel like I’ve written about this before… possibly because I’ve, y’know, written about this before. In fact, a quick poke through the archives here revealed that years ago, after appearing on The Today Show, I felt quite invaded to suddenly have so many people interested in how much money I make. I tend to be a private person, and I was raised to believe you don’t just go around asking people about their finances. Now, I absolutely believe in freelancers forming a helpful community where like-minded folks can learn from and help each other, and in that context, I think talking about money is logical and a good idea. But just general sort of “what do you make?” kinds of things? I find that tacky.

(This comes as a huge shock to you, I know.)

Anyone who has ever formed any sort of working relationship with me knows that I have no problem discussing business in a business or mentoring context. But now I’m wondering if “honesty” and “transparency”—qualities I think are necessary for success in this line of work—should extend to one’s financials.
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There’s no shortage of advice out there on how to deal with That Commenter. You know the one—he or she starts out with a few back-handed compliments in response to a post or two, and then the day comes when they’ve simply had enough. In a sentence or six they outline why you are the wrongest of the very wrong, your children will grow up to hate you, your spouse probably rues the day you married, and how you will die alone because everything you touch is tainted. (This is different than constructive disagreement, by the way. Not everyone who disagrees with you is mean and inappropriate. This post is just about the folks who really overstep bounds, get personal, and attack.)

This is part of living a semi-public life (which any writer who ever talks about anything personal is doing, intentionally or not). There are people out there that view any willingness to share personal stories as any or all of the following:
A) Your entire life laid transparent, a complete story with no missing pieces,
B) Permission to judge you,
C) An invitation to relive personal baggage, related to you or not,
D) An opportunity to unload vitriol.

Lots of people have great ideas on how to deal with this when it happens.
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In the midst of the “most wonderful time of the year,” when we should all be trimming trees or menorahs (hey, I know people don’t trim menorahs) (nor do I believe everyone is Judeo-Christian) (just go with me here, okay?), another community uproar has broken out over freelance writers and payment.

Specifically, there’s been a lot of discussion generated by the announcement of REDBOOK’s new “Motherboard,” a panel of bloggers who will be writing for them free of charge.

There’s been so much chatter about this already, I’m not going to subject you to my own long-winded commentary on this. Plenty of people have already covered a lot of what I would say, probably with less flailing around than I would likely do. But if you haven’t been following along—or would like to make sure you see several different takes on it—let’s take a look.
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We talk a lot about balance, ’round here. Work/life balance. Mother/wife balance. Mother/person balance. Balance is not an unfamiliar concept to anyone trying to manage a career and a life at the same time.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about this balance as it pertains to being a woman and solopreneur, generally, and how it pertains to being a woman and a writer, in particular.

Now before I go any further I will hasten to point out that I admire lots and lots of male writers as well, and nothing I’m about to say is designed to indicate that only women do what I’m about to discuss. I’m just going to talk about woman because, well, I am one and I know that for me it’s a big part of what I bring to the table as a writer.
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“The most wonderful thing about being a freelance writer is that I can work anywhere.” I wish I had a nickel for every time I’ve said that to someone. Especially now, when I’m realizing it’s such a dirty lie.

Oh, sure, technically it’s true—I have my laptop, I have a wireless internet connection, and I can sit down and so some where almost anywhere, provided that I have those with me. Yes. And I do… sometimes. But the bulk of my work is done here at my desk, in my office, which is how I like it.

And right now my office is trying to kill me. And by “trying to kill me” I of course mean “surrounded by noisy contractor wielding saws and pneumatic nail guns and heavy boots.”

Yay for home improvement! Boo for trying to work from home while it’s happening!
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To me there is probably no single more distasteful aspect of being a professional blogger than some of the weird proposals I receive in my email. Because naturally, making my living writing online, I would love to (take your pick of any or all of the following): write for you for free, let you publish your canned content on my site, advertise for you for free, highlight your product that no one cares about, tell my readers about a great opportunity that no one cares about, or otherwise just do whatever you—a complete stranger—ask of me because clearly I can’t generate content on my own.

Yeah.

Obviously not everyone is going to end up with an unbelievably entertaining story from every marketing disaster (see: The Bloggess’ recent adventure), but still, I think this recent encounter bears discussing, because I think it happens more often than we maybe realize. I know I only caught on at first completely by accident, and then did some digging.

But let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
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Regular readers know that I often preach the wisdom of finding conferences that “work” for you and what you’re hoping to achieve, and making the commitment not just to attend but to try to speak at those events periodically as well. It’s about networking, stretching your wings a little, and figuring out where you can best leverage your talents while best tapping into other resources.

And now that I typed that sentence I sort of want to punch myself in the face. Look; it’s about finding where you can do some learning, some leading, and a lot of finding your tribe amongst some folks you enjoy professionally and maybe even socially. Is that better?

This year I’m thinking about Savvy Blogging Summit, which is a conference I’ve never attended, but have heard really good things about from multiple people. The thing is, the next one isn’t for just over a year, so rather than my standard go-check-it-out method, I’m thinking I want to pitch a session. Even though I’ve never been, before.
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The concept of a brilliant writer who holes up in a dark office, writing day and night, living the life of a recluse while society celebrates their literary accomplishments, is mostly a fairy tale. I mean, I’m sure there are a few writers like that. Maybe that was more common back when writers mostly did just have to write, and there wasn’t an expectation that those writers would also market themselves, read to crowds, participate in professional development, etc. In fact, if you think about it… most bygone “famous” writers who were known for their reclusive ways didn’t gain much fame to speak of until after they were deceased.

But maybe you—like me—really aren’t looking to become famous. Maybe you’re thinking that just working hard and being a good writer is enough to make a living, which is all you really want. Surely then all you need to do is write well, right?

Weeeeeeeell… no.

So I have some good news and some bad news.
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