(Oh, don’t worry. I’m not really going to bust out into song; no one wants that.)

For years I’ve written here about the intricacies of balancing life and mothering and work, and agonized over the time I spend building my business vs. nurturing my marriage and/or being a wholly present mother to my children. For years I’ve talked about how you get out of your business what you put into it, and how “just cruising along” might work in a corporate job, but in freelancing it means stagnation and less work.

I’m a big believer in life handing you the lessons you need to learn. And it would appear that I needed a lesson in work being less important than my family.

Lucky (?) me!
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I feel like I’ve written about this before… possibly because I’ve, y’know, written about this before. In fact, a quick poke through the archives here revealed that years ago, after appearing on The Today Show, I felt quite invaded to suddenly have so many people interested in how much money I make. I tend to be a private person, and I was raised to believe you don’t just go around asking people about their finances. Now, I absolutely believe in freelancers forming a helpful community where like-minded folks can learn from and help each other, and in that context, I think talking about money is logical and a good idea. But just general sort of “what do you make?” kinds of things? I find that tacky.

(This comes as a huge shock to you, I know.)

Anyone who has ever formed any sort of working relationship with me knows that I have no problem discussing business in a business or mentoring context. But now I’m wondering if “honesty” and “transparency”—qualities I think are necessary for success in this line of work—should extend to one’s financials.
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I love my accountant. You know this about me, because I say it all the time. I’m saying it again. Because I love him that much.

When I am not busy proclaiming my undying (yet completely businesslike and platonic, I assure you) love for my accountant, I’m probably saying this: Worth every penny. Because he is.

Everyone who freelances has a Starting Out period where every penny is precious. How long that time lasts varies, of course, and I went through it, too, so I totally get that there’s this start-up time when you’re not even making enough money to cover your expenses, not really, and hiring an accountant seems Completely Out Of The Question. That’s fine. What I do say, though, is that as soon as you can afford it, hire an accountant.

When can you afford it? That’s up to you. I would say that if you’ve reached the point of incorporating—or maybe even just thinking about it—it’s time. And yet, there’s always someone who will argue with me that they’re perfectly capable of handling their taxes and other paperwork themselves. My standard answer is that I’m sure they are, but I think they should hire an accountant anyway.
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We were on the road for two weeks over the holidays; two weeks of working on my laptop on a couch or at someone else’s table rather than my desk, two weeks of trying to work less so I could spend precious time with family and friends normally so far away, two weeks of dealing with various family crises and cramped quarters and long (oh my goodness, so long) treks in the car.

I’m glad we went, but I was elated to arrive back home. Two weeks is a long time for me to be off my regular routine. I missed my bed and my house and even my desk, I found.

Of course, after arriving home at practically midnight on Sunday, Monday was a day to unpack, ask the children if they ever planned to get out of their pajamas (their answer: “No, of course not!”), and try to get the house set to rights again. Today—Tuesday—the kids were back to school and I was ready to get back into my normal routine. Today would be an incredibly productive day!
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This week is the one in which everyone I know who isn’t a freelancer is lolling around, eating pie with their families. Of course, everyone I know who is a freelancer is also eating pie, but generally while balancing a laptop and trying to tie up all of the year’s loose ends.

Boo hoo, I know. Poor me and my pie-balancing act. Heh.

The week between Christmas and New Year’s is traditionally one in which people reflect and make resolutions to be better, stronger, thinner, and smarter in the new year. For me, being in business for myself means that this is when I reflect on all of the things I probably should’ve gotten done earlier in the year. Ahem.

I also think of my accountant, and start rooting around in my purse for receipts. (I am nothing if not supremely organized.)

So, yes, there is also planning for the year ahead, but first I have to finish up this year.
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I feel like I’ve been writing about how stressed out I am for at least a month, now. The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas—and all of the family time therein, or worrying about missing that family time—always seems so crammed full of obligations that I’m often left with precious little time to just enjoy, which I think is kind of a shame.

And as much time as I spend trying to figure out how to take time off, get away from my desk for an entire day (imagine!), the deeper issue is that day-to-day balance so that life feels like something to be experienced rather than an endless slog. (Okay, that’s a bit of hyperbole, but still.)

It’s not about figuring out a vacation, necessarily, but about making every work day more doable, more manageable. I mean, vacations are nice and all, but until I hit the lottery (which is difficult, I’m told, if you never actually buy a ticket), I still have to work for a living… so I’d rather figure out how to make most of my time more enjoyable than simply endure for long stretches between the nicer bits.
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In the midst of the “most wonderful time of the year,” when we should all be trimming trees or menorahs (hey, I know people don’t trim menorahs) (nor do I believe everyone is Judeo-Christian) (just go with me here, okay?), another community uproar has broken out over freelance writers and payment.

Specifically, there’s been a lot of discussion generated by the announcement of REDBOOK’s new “Motherboard,” a panel of bloggers who will be writing for them free of charge.

There’s been so much chatter about this already, I’m not going to subject you to my own long-winded commentary on this. Plenty of people have already covered a lot of what I would say, probably with less flailing around than I would likely do. But if you haven’t been following along—or would like to make sure you see several different takes on it—let’s take a look.
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‘Tis the season for my otherwise relatively peaceful slumber to be interrupted in one of three ways:
1) I can’t sleep. I toss and turn, thinking about all of the things I need to be doing.
2) I don’t go to sleep when I should, because I have too much work to do.
or
3) I fall asleep, and dream that I’m working. I wake up tired and grumpy.

The most wonderful time of the year? Uh, maybe for someone else. For me, pretty much the entire window from Thanksgiving to New Year’s is when I wish I did anything other than freelance. It’s a busy time for me, anyway, but the lack of vacation when my cube-farm friends are kicking back for a week or two is hard. And when my kids are off school and I feel like I’m chained to my desk, that’s hard, too.

I know. Wah wah wah.

I chose this life, and 95% of the time, I love it. Nevertheless, Burnout often feels imminent during the month of December, for me. So how do I get through? It’s all in the little things.
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In honor of the upcoming holiday—and because I’ve started sliding into Holiday Hosting Mode—I just couldn’t quite stomach an all-business post today.

(I hope you’ll forgive me. Come over on Thursday for some pie so I can make it up to you, if you don’t.)

I think a lot of us talk a lot about how other aspects of life have prepared us for various facets of running a freelance business, but today I’m turning that notion on its head; instead, I want to look at the things I’ve learned from freelancing that have absolutely made hosting a large holiday meal more doable, for me. (And no, this story doesn’t start with “Drink more,” although I can see why you might suspect that.) The truth is that working for myself has uniquely prepared me for the rigors of the Thanksgiving meal gauntlet, I think.
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In just about a week, I enter what my family (mostly lovingly) refers to as “Mom’s Invisible Season,” when I work until the holidays nearly twice as many hours as I do the rest of the year. There’s a method to my madness, of course; the more time and energy I put into Want Not while the entire world is busy holiday shopping, the more money I make. I can work extra hard for one month of the year more easily than I can add hours to my schedule for the entire rest of the year, so financially and logistically, it makes sense.

But.

It makes for a very stressful month. And we’re not even there yet, this year, and I’m already feeling stretched to the max and not as available for my kids as I’d like to be. And while every working parent feels like they wish they could spend more time with their kids (I mean, I assume), a huge part of the reason I decided on this work-from-home gig was precisely so that I’d be able to be there for my kids.
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