Sometimes I feel like if talking about balance was the same thing as actually achieving it, I would be the world’s most balanced person, by now. Pity it doesn’t work that way. But I definitely appreciated Nancy Nally’s honesty about the catch-22 of taking time off as a freelancer, in her recent piece at Salon. She sums it up succinctly:

The entire process of essentially working double-time before and after my time off is so exhausting and stressful that most of the time, it completely offsets any benefit I might get from the time off itself.

(It’s really nice to know that I’m not the only person who wonders if time off is even worth it, given this conundrum.)

Nally goes on to talk about how she does find some respite, though.
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The most common question/complaint/comment I hear about working from home is, “I could never get anything done! I’d end up cleaning the kitchen or watching television!” The assumption seems to be that being in your own space, without the built-in accountability that comes from being surrounded by others, it will be impossible to stay on task. And for some people, I suppose that’s true.

I’m not saying that I always work efficiently or that I never find myself scrubbing grout in the middle of the day (hey, it happens), but my memories of cubicle life include a lot of things like filing into the break room to celebrate Diane From Accounting’s birthday, even though I didn’t even know Diane From Accounting. But there was cake, and so there went half an hour of my day (and probably half an inch on my waistline).

Working from home does present certain distractions, it’s true. But so does working in a shared office environment.
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Well, now I’ve seen it all.

I thought I’d seen all the lists—mistakes women make in business, mistakes male bosses make, mistakes freelancers make, mistakes male freelancing bosses overseeing women of a certain height during months that end in “ber” make. (Okay, I may have made up that last one.) The point is, society loves a list, particularly when it comes to a step-by-step accounting of how to do something right or how everyone is doing it wrong.

But now there’s this: Courtesy of FreelanceSwitch (which you should have bookmarked and should be reading religiously, fellow freelancers; do I have to tell you everything?), we now have The Five Most Common Mistakes of Female Freelancers and The Five Most Common Mistakes of Male Freelancers.
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When people ask me what I do, I tell them the truth: I’m a freelance writer. If they press it—asking what sort of writing I do—I tell them that I’m mostly a corporate blogger, which is mostly true. I’ll cop to adding the “corporate” part even though a big chunk of my time is spent on my own two decidedly non-corporate personal blogs. I think I add that to make it clear that I’m not just some unwashed social misfit ranting while hunched over a laptop in my basement.

(Because, you know, we don’t even have a basement.)

Plus, I do lots of writing for corporate clients, and there are numerous pretty people who send me money in exchange for my writing, so yes: I’m a freelance writer who specializes in corporate blogging. No shame there, right?

Well, maybe….
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So, a little time had passed since I was whining about the problem of responding to requests for information from readers. I’ve had some time to think about it, and I’ve talked to some colleagues and read your comments here and really mulled it over. The crux of the issue, for me, anyway, is that I actually love it when regular readers come to me with smart questions. What I really don’t like is when someone stumbles upon my corner of the ‘net and for whatever reason decides that I both can and should inform them how to do exactly what it is that I do.

In the former scenario, I am flattered, and I’m happy to help if I can. In the latter scenario, I’m aggravated, I feel my hard work has been overlooked, and (perhaps I take things I tad too personally?) I feel used. I may be cheap, but I’m not a cheap date. Heh. I require a little wooing, and my favorite love language when it comes to this stuff is Affirmation—I need to know that you understand that I work for a living. (It also helps if you tell me I’m pretty, though it’s not required.)
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I tackled my taxes early this year, on account of I knew I was in something of a mess and was enlisting professional help. So Tuesday was just another day, for me, but I know that for many it was a Day Of Reckoning.

If you’re new to freelancing or if you had the good fortune to make a lot more money last year than you did the year before, it’s possible that completing your taxes this year was a good deal more painful than it’s been in the past. This is the part of the program where we hold hands and talk about what we’ve learned, kids!
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You know that whole thing where the only way to get work is to have already worked, sometimes, and you start feeling very chicken-and-egg-ish about reaching your goals? I remember when I started out that I spent a lot of time being annoyed that I couldn’t get the experience everyone wanted without them, you know, giving me a chance to get the experience.

I also know that a similar conundrum can apply to setting up your home office, because until you’re making regular money, it can feel ridiculous and/or decadent to spend money on your workspace. But you really can’t work to your full potential without the right tools, so then you need to figure out the balance between what you need and what you just want.
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There’s no shortage of articles, books, and blogs to tell you all about why freelancing is the very greatest thing ever. I like reading those sorts of pieces because it’s nice to hear someone excited about what they do, in any event, and even moreso when they’re doing what you do. (Or—for some of you—what you want to do.)

And then there are also folks who want to tell you the “cold hard facts” about choosing freelancing as your way of life. I like reading those sorts of pieces because I’m a realist, and I want to know what I’m really look at, here. I don’t want my truth sugar-coated; give it to me straight.

And then there are the people who want to tell you how much it all sucks.
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You know, I always sort of get a chuckle out of articles that purport to tell you things you should or should not do as a [fill in the blank here]. Nine out of ten times, those pieces can be extrapolated outwards to apply to human relations in general, particularly when you’re talking about how to interact with others (as opposed to how to design your web page or what to wear). And the saddest part is that our society desperately needs these sort of how-to pieces, because people in general are often either self-absorbed or just plain clueless.

Nevertheless, every now and then I see one of these articles that spells it out in a noteworthy way, so today we’re going to turn our attention elsewhere.
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Dear Kristine Scalzi:

I sort of love your husband. Don’t worry, it’s not that kind of love, or anything. Nor am I a stalker of any kind. But the strength of my feelings are such that I just felt the need to apologize. So… sorry about that. If it truly bothers you, perhaps you could ask him to be less brilliant? Great; thanks.

Yours,
Mir

I feel better, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest.

The thing of it is, John Scalzi wrote something so completely awesome that you’re not allowed to read any further until you go read it yourself. Especially if you’re an aspiring writer. Go! I’ll wait.
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