Entrepreneur Mom
with Aliza Sherman
If you own a business - home-based or otherwise - this is the blog where you'll find practical tips and smart ideas about entrepreneurship. I've started and run 4 different businesses so "been there, done that." I'll also invite successful entrepreneurs to share their best advice with you.
To learn more about Aliza, check out her profile on Work It, Mom! and her website, www.mediaegg.com.
Sometimes, I feel like I have a split personality.
One personality is a mom to a 16-month old baby girl and wife to a wonderful husband.
The other personality is a career-minded businesswoman who has a laser focus on work, creativity, productivity and accomplishment.
These two personalities do not mesh. Just one superficial example of the difference: The first runs better when I’m calm and relaxed. The other works really well buzzed on a bit of caffeine.
I have to be honest - these 2 sides of me clash constantly and battle for dominance. They both want more time every day and both are pulled by outside forces to be present more often. On the mom side, there is baby and hubby. On the businesswoman side, there are clients, deadlines and dollars.
I wish I could say that I preferred one to the other. The “right answer” is that I prefer the mom side and that the businesswoman side is a necessary evil. The truth is that I’m so good at the businesswoman side that I feel a strong attachment to it. I’m so new at the mom/wife side that I still feel lost and confused at times and simply not sure what to do.
So how do I reconcile these vastly different sides to me? And how do I toggle back and forth without losing my mind?
1. Accept the Split. I have learned to admit that I do have two distincts side to myself and that’s okay. Trying to deny one or the other would cause more damage than good.
2. Breathe, Just Breathe. Sometimes, something as simple as taking a few deep breaths really can help as you toggle from one side of you to the other. One moment, I’m on my computer focused on work, the next moment - after a few deep breaths - I am playing on the floor with baby and reading her a book. And I make it work.
3. Skillfully Carve Out Time. I pay a babysitter to come to our home for 4 hours in the mornings and that is my Businesswoman Time. I can lock myself in my room and work without worrying how baby is doing and not feeling guilty. The rest of the time for work comes during baby’s naps or whenever I can squeeze it in and nobody else is looking.
4. Keep a Good Calendar. I’m going to try using an online calendar like the one that comes with Yahoo! or something like 30 Boxes. But truth be told, I still do a lot better with pen and a paper datebook. What I really should do is put my Mommy appointments in one color and my Businesswoman appointments in another! And also keep it out of reach of baby because she keeps ripping out the pages.
Toggling between both sides of me is a fact of my life after marriage and baby. I’m not going to be that superwoman who tries to do it all at once. I’m just going to toggle as needed.
How do YOU toggle?
Subscribe to blog via RSS
wow - you managed to put out there into words how i feel every day too! the difference for me is that my son goes to ‘work’ (daycare onsite) with my husband. so on days when i work from home, it is a HUGE help in keeping my worlds seperate! there are still always times when i feel like i am leaning too far to one side or the other which starts the guilt tripping. but then i also feel like my success and ambition in my career help feed my confidence at home and the same is true the other way around. i NEED both sides to be good at either of them! i try to remember this on super stressful work days or crazy family filled weekends! lol
Kate | November 7th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Yes, I think that helps a lot. When people ask me if I’m home with my kids, I tell them I stay home (run a home-based business), but my kids aren’t there. I focus on my business when my kids aren’t here. I still do home stuff during that time if I need to, so we aren’t doing laundry on the weekends, but my day is 9am to 4pm when all three of my kids are in school. If I have a lot of orders, I will do work when they are here, but I mostly just check e-mail periodically when they are all home.
I also have an old-fashioned dayplanner….pen and paper. I built my website on my own, but I’m a moron when it comes to gadgets.
AmyE
http://www.sofiabean.com
Amy | November 9th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Thanks for your split-personality analogy.
As a mom-preneur, you have to know how to give to both your business, your family, your clients, and yourself.
I wholeheartedly agree with all of your pointers above. I especially liked your mention of maintaining the ability to “skillfully carve out time.”
Because carving out the requisite amount of time to get your business goals accomplished is what it takes to succeed.
Thanks!
Latarsha | December 3rd, 2007 at 7:53 am