Baby is leaving the nest!
It is time. Time for baby to go to daycare. And I have very mixed feelings about it.
I realize how lucky I am to be able to work from home with a babysitter watching baby for four hours every morning while other mothers have no choice but to go back to work outside of the home, I probably have complained more than I’ve counted my blessings.
Four hours is not enough time to realistically scratch the surface of my workload, but I can’t really afford to spend more. Now that the prospect of taking her somewhere and leaving her for eight hours sounds good on paper, but I’m beginning to dread the day she goes.
I know I’m not the only one who has mixed feelings over baby going to daycare, but my situation is different in that she doesn’t have to go. I’m just enrolling her because I think it will be good for her. Okay, sure, I’ll admit to a touch of selfishness - I mean what workaholic wouldn’t want their 8 hour workweek back? I’m already imagining all the things I could actually get done.
I’ve also been feeling very guilty about not having enough friends with kids her age and the ones I do have (two) are always so busy (overachiever workaholic types, like me) and that means baby is lucky to get one playdate a week. Sure I take her to Baby Gym every Tuesday morning and try to get my butt to the gym to work out at least once a week which gives her a chance to play with the kids in the playcenter there. I feel it is my fault that she is so isolated. Daycare helps relieve me of this guilt.
In a way, almost every reason for putting her into daycare is selfish other than this one:
She really needs interaction with other kids.
Have I mentioned that we’re actually not fully enrolled in daycare yet? We’re just on the waiting list, but they keep promising me each week they’ll be able to get her in sometime in early May.
But what if they can’t? Our steady babysitter is gone most of May so that could put a big wrench in my plans to catch up on all my work and get my business running like a well-oiled machine. Darn those reputable daycare centers with mile-long waiting lists. I should have signed up before baby was born like some of my other overachieving friends did!
All in all, I’m expecting to shed a few tears the first days I leave her at daycare. Then I’ll pick up a latte on the way home and immerse myself in my work. Hopefully the heartache won’t last.