Entrepreneur Mom
with Aliza Sherman
If you own a business - home-based or otherwise - this is the blog where you'll find practical tips and smart ideas about entrepreneurship. I've started and run 4 different businesses so "been there, done that." I'll also invite successful entrepreneurs to share their best advice with you.
To learn more about Aliza, check out her profile on Work It, Mom! and her website, www.mediaegg.com.
Our guest blogger today is Emily Bass. Emily Bass lives between Anchorage and McCarthy, Alaska with her husband and son and her dog Lucy. After 20 years as a professional skier and 10 years as Founding Director of a nonprofit supporting people with disabilities to ski, Emily has taken up working from home as a freelance grant writing and providing support for small non profits in her community.
I was a self proclaimed “excellent multitasker”. I felt productive and like a good person when I could check something off my list. I used to find multitasking calming - until I had a child that is.
As my 6 year old son sat at the kitchen counter, where he can do his homework and I can multitask, he was telling me a story. The story was something about an invention he was going to make that would help the world. Half listening I kept saying mmhmm, wow, that’s great. In between commands such as; “make sure your handwriting is clear” he called mom- MOM- MOM!
It took me a couple seconds to shift my thoughts and look at him. As if shaking myself awake from a dream, I saw him and recognized anguish on his face. He had asked me a question. I immediately went into defensive, cover myself, half hearted apology mode.
“I’m sorry honey, but I am trying to make your snack and get lunch done for tomorrow. What was the question again?”
He dropped his head and was probably trying to remember his question and give me another chance when my mind took over again because the buzzer for the washer went off. I told him to hold on a second as I ran down to switch the laundry.
When I came back he was gone.
This knocked me into awareness. I went and found him and apologized.
“What are you sorry for mom?” he asked as if he wasn’t sure.
The question forced me to put it into words. I am sorry for not being present for you. I am sorry that when I do my chores I make the next moment more important than this one. I’m not sure he got it, but I did.
I vowed to do three things;
- Remember to be present
- Practice being present
- Be present
My 6 year old son is like my own little sage who seems to perceive when I am present in my request to him, or even in my own doing. I notice that when I am present in my doing he respects my space more. When I am thrashing about, even just inside my head, he always needs something from me. Or could it be that when I am present it isn’t as distracting to be needed?
I notice not only children perceive when I am present in my actions and responses but my own customers and the person on the phone is also. I’m afraid even my dog can tell if I am petting her with presence or just as a sense of duty.
As a work-at-home mom, this being present thing has changed the way I feel at the end of the day when it’s time to go pick up my son from school. It was just one more thing on my list. Now the end-of-the-day pick-up is actually my best time of day because it brings me back to my very special present! (Pun intended)
Multitasking without presence is not calming, it is distracting.
Multitasking with presence brings such richness to what I do and to my relationships as well. It is a choice I make to Remember to Practice to Be Present. Multitasking with presence I AM a better entrepreneur-mom-multitasking person as I check off my list.
How have you learned to be more present? Or have you?
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Great text love the message, hoping to be as prescent as I can be for all and especialy my self
tim riedell | January 10th, 2009 at 4:56 am
OMG I had this same discovery recently when I work from home. I primarily work at my office, but work from home one or two days a week.
When my baby daughter was born (she’s now 16 months old) and as she became more demanding as an infant/toddler, I tried to work and watch her simultaneously and failed miserably at it. I would get frustrated while trying to type out an email and she would type on my keyboard or need my full attention
However, when I *stopped* trying to multi-task and rather dedicated my time to her or work depending on the time of day, it was way much more beneficial and let to more valuable time with my sweet little girl.
Jason | January 10th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
As I walk through life, I am realizing more and more that it is OK to multi-task TASK, not people. I guess that is why it is called multi-TASKing. Life is short, and people are much more important. Things will get done or not, but in the end, it is love that makes all the difference.As I walk through life, I am
Sarah Cook | January 13th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
I have definitely not learned yet. I’m working on it. This description sounds like something that happened to me so many times in my little endeavors to work from home. In fact, I gave up. I don’t know that if it was as much the working from home or the work I was doing: selling. I guess I’m not a seller. I like to read and I like to write. Anyway.
Multitasking is also something I have not mastered because I feel like I’m ADHD. When I try to multitask, I jump from one thing to another and never finish the one thing I sought out to do. And that includes something I was supposed to do for my kids.
When I make that conscious effort though to “be present” I can tell my kids appreciate it. They know, they really do. My son even tells me how much he loves me and how much he’s glad that I’m in our family. Isn’t that the cutest?! “Being present” may only take a second to stop what we’re doing and pay attention to what our kids need to tell us. I think that the more I do it, the less behavior problems we run into.
Karen | January 23rd, 2009 at 6:35 pm