I cannot work without childcare of some kind. I cannot easily find reliable childcare in the rural Alaska community where I live. Without someone with my toddler during the days, providing her with undivided attention, my work day is fragmented and frustratingly unproductive.
So for the last month, I’ve been exploring the concept of a nanny living in our home. Trying to figure out the logistics of it nearly gave me a nervous breakdown.
First, where would she sleep? In order to accommodate her, the only logical space is our double home-office/recording studio in the basement which means finding a place for two desks and all of our equipment. We could move the upstairs guest room set up downstairs to be the nanny sleeping quarters, but our two desks would never fit in the upstairs guest room. My husband offered to move his desk to the weight room when he realized how crazed I was becoming trying to work out the details.
We couldn’t have the nanny sleep in the upstairs guestroom because then when in the world would my husband and I have sex? We’ve mastered the “we’ve got a toddler who could walk in any moment so we really should get that bedroom door lock fixed,” but the hubby knows that when we have guests, our home is a sex-free zone unless we can find a time when nobody is within earshot.
If the nanny’s room was downstairs, then she’d have to brave the perilous basement stairs to share the bathroom with our toddler. This could be a liability of some kind that might not be worth the risk. There is no bathroom downstairs, and we are renting so no possibility of renovations.
Next, how would we be able to stand having someone around possibly 24/7? When we recently had someone nanny for us for two weeks, my husband commented that he felt like he had another daughter in the house. Since the weather is still nice here, the nanny stayed in our modern trailer camper which was helpful that she had her own space outside of our home, however, that is not a humane option in winter where we easily get minus 60 degree F weather.
Having someone around the house who is not part of the family is actually kind of creepy to me. I’ve had a hard enough time getting used to having a husband and then an infant-now-toddler, both being foreign entities in my years of bachelorette living. I don’t think I would even know how to behave around a nanny who is a total stranger. I’d end up coming across like one of those nightmarish mothers in The Nanny Diaries, I’m sure.
And I have to put this out there because it is something I’ve thought about - not often, but it is there. The whole “men who cheat on their wives with their nannies” thing. We’ve mostly heard about the celebrity incidents like Robin Williams and Jude Law, but a girlfriend of mine has a good friend who had that exact thing happen to them. Not that I truly think my husband will cheat on me - we have a great relationship (or so I believe). But that is exactly what this other woman thought.
But like I said, I’m not obsessing over that one although I did wake up in a panic about it one night. Just one.
Anyone out there have a live-in nanny? If so, how has it worked out…or has it? And were you actually able to get work done if you are working at home?