Entrepreneur Mom
with Aliza Sherman
If you own a business - home-based or otherwise - this is the blog where you'll find practical tips and smart ideas about entrepreneurship. I've started and run 4 different businesses so "been there, done that." I'll also invite successful entrepreneurs to share their best advice with you.
To learn more about Aliza, check out her profile on Work It, Mom! and her website, www.mediaegg.com.
I recently had the opportunity to speak on a panel at BlogHer sponsored by Pepsico. The discussion topic was Live with Purpose and what that meant to women today. The panel was part of a larger project to document women’s thoughts about purpose and indexing this discussion and future discussions to see if and how women’s attitudes change over time.
One of the first questions was asking each of us about our own purpose.
“What is your purpose?”
We went around the circle of panelists, and each one of them said either “my children” or “my family.” One after another, the women expressed how their family was their main purpose. Then it was my turn.
“I’m a troublemaker,” I said. “I speak the unspoken, the taboo.”
Here is what I said: “My purpose is my work.”
There, I said it. Shocking? But why is it shocking? My purpose is my work, and without my work, I am not fulfilling who I am. And when I’m not being true to myself, I’m not any good to my husband or my daughter. I love my family very much. But not at the expense of me.
Women don’t speak about their work in those terms. Maybe some women don’t have satisfying work or don’t have a mission or purpose where their work is such a vital extension of who they are, their work is their oxygen. And that’s okay. Maybe other women truly believe they were put here on this earth to be a wife and bear children. Good for them.
But if you are one of those women whose work defines them, do you feel guilty about it? Do you apologize for it? Do you suppress your own needs and put the needs of others first?
I argue that if you do, you are denying the very reason you were put on this planet. We each have a purpose for being here, and most of us were not put here for others. Sure, reaching out and connecting to others staves off the loneliness, however, we have very little to offer others if we are half of who we are supposed to be.
Do you agree or disagree with my thoughts about purpose? What is YOUR purpose?
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- Lee Woodruff: What Do Women Want? What I Learned at Blogher (huffingtonpost.com)
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My purpose in life is to simply be the best I can be. From there, everything else falls into place. Being the best I can be means looking within and tidying up my inner courtyard; giving it my all and Doing the Right Thing at work; Being the best Sergeant to my reserve troops and putting them above myself; Being the best wife to my husband - recognizing his needs, accomplishments and building a life together; Being the best mother I can be (and only being responsible for 50% of our daughter’s therapy needs down the road).
I agree with you, but I don’t. I think that defining your purpose with only one aspect of your life means that you disregard all of the roles you fill and focus only on one area. That’s a limited definition for a whole person and a limited mission for your life as well.
Phe | July 30th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
This is a good question, but everyone’s answer will evolve over time. In an abstract sense, I have always felt my purpose was to figure out what I was designed for by God and to pursue whatever that is. For example, I know that because I’m really good at breaking down and re-structuring complex problems, whatever I do needs to include that. But that can mean computer programing, financial modeling, developing a reading program for learning-disabled kids, becoming an interpreter, developing an optimal nutrition program, helping my free-spirited child develop a system for evaluating good and bad choices, providing a fresh perspective on stagnating community problems, or structuring my kids’ home lives for optimal learning. At different times, it has meant all of these and much more.
Although we may not know exactly how to define our “purpose” at any given time, it is very important to encourage our kids to think about theirs. I have always done this in the context of religion, but however it is done, it has been proven that youths with a sense of purpose make far better choices than those without.
SKL | July 31st, 2009 at 1:35 pm
its cyclic.. and changes with phases in my life.. but something which i have realised to be true all the time.. is to be happy.. my purpose in life is to be happy.. since i know if i am not, then no one around me will be.. neither will I be able to share in there happiness!I will be 100% in whatever i do, i.e work- wife-parenting, socialising, relaxing. .anything.
So yes. i think i say it affirmatively.. my purspose in life is to stay happy..
GNSD | July 31st, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Dear Aliza,
Thank You. Thank YOU. You get a standing ovation from me. Because like you, I can proudly say my purpose is my work, because today as an entrepreneur, I am creating amazing businesses with a mission I truly believe in. Of course i love my family. Love and will do whatever it takes to take good care of them. But I am Vera Babayeva and believe that it is my purpose to create what I am working on. Thank you.
vera babayeva | July 31st, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Well, my purpose in life is to be a good citizen in the community as well as in my family. Something like living a Godly life.
Patrice | August 13th, 2009 at 10:28 am