Problogger, Gina Blitstein, offers up simple, yet effective, solutions to common problems women entrepreneurs face and the stresses they can lead to.

By Gina Blitstein

Recently I read a comment from a woman I follow on Twitter. She’s a cool lady whose blog I was fortunate to discover a couple years ago. I enjoyed her authenticity and her sense of humor. She’s an all-around nice person I’d be happy to know in real life - but only know virtually. She tweets about everything from her children’s adventures and misadventures, her ostensibly wonderful husband, trials at work or rudeness at her local Burger King. Like I said, she has all the appeal of a friend - except, of course, we’ve never actually met.

But anyone who’s chatted with those we meet in online communities like Twitter know that sometimes among the more banal and mundane comments we share in order to connect with one another is once in a while a kernel of wisdom - or at least truth and genuineness. And on September 28th, that’s exactly what I heard from this friend, “C.” Here is her Tweet, verbatim: “All day I’ve been feeling like my life is running me. I want to change that, but … how to be in charge, but not rigid?” “Wow!” I thought…”That’s heavy.” Her comment struck me as a genuine cry for help. C is definitely not alone in feeling this way - we’ve all been there. It just came out of the blue at 7:06 PM and was a call to action. “That’s a great topic for a Work It, Mom article!” I thought. C’s words resonated with me and sparked a plan - I’d research and write on this topic to help solve this dilemma for C and the rest of us who suffer from feeling this way!

The first step to attacking a problem is to identify how it has come to be. Let’s explore some of the possible reasons our lives are leading us around by the nose.

“We have the sense our lives are running us versus our running them because we engage daily in the single most deadly combat known to the professional woman today: Clock combat,” says Christine Louise Hohlbaum, author of ‘The Power of Slow: 101 Ways to Save Time in Our 24/7 World.’ Christine explains, “We race against time with a collective sense of urgency and somehow think by doing so, we are productive. It’s simply not true. We may not be to control time, but we can control what we do in the time we have.”

Christine outlines the misgivings under which we operate that cause us to feel a loss of control over our own lives. Many of us - unfortunately - can relate to these ways of getting through the day.

Problem #1 - We attempt to do too many things at once. Multitasking is a myth. Science shows our brains task-switch. We simply cannot fully focus on more than one thing at a time.
Solution - Slow down and look at the Big Picture. What are you running toward? Take a moment to remember what is truly important, then focus on that ~one thing at a time!

Problem #2 - We say ‘yes’ when we mean ‘no.’ It leads to unnecessary stress as we try to please everyone other than ourselves (including clients, family, friends and colleagues).
Solution - Learn to say ‘no’ with kindness. Remember saying ‘no’ to something is actually saying ‘yes’ to yourself.

Problem #3 - We forget whose running the ship. Too often we think external circumstances are in control. The reality is we are.
Solution - Remember you are the master of your own ship. How you decide to divvy out the units in your personal bank account of time is entirely up to you.

Certainly these are issues worth taking some effort to think about. Often we are so busy and have so many demands upon our time and energy that we slip into ‘auto pilot’ rather than making the very changes that could put us back in the driver’s seat. No wonder we feel that we’re not in charge…we’re not!

Admittedly, we will rock the proverbial boat by delegating, slowing our pace and simplifying; however that is precisely the type of change we need to implement in order to get a handle on our life. But that’s the thing…it’s our life and we should - and can - be in charge. Now that we’re aware of some of the pitfalls to which we’ve succumbed, let’s climb out - one step at a time - and start making the changes it will take to be the one running the show!

What changes can you make to stop being run by your life?

Whether it is writers block, a deep purple funk or getting stuck in a rut, we’ve all been there. When you’re working from home - like me - or even if you’re working outside of the home, finding inspiration that triggers motivation can be a challenge. Wanting to give some tips on inspiration, I realized I’m not the foremost expert on the topic but wanting to get a new blog post up sooner than later, I thought I’d improvise and share with you the Top 10 Thing that I personally do to get inspired.

10. Drink coffee. I hate to admit I’m back on a coffee jag. There is something about the first sip of coffee that really gets my brain engaged.

9. Change my surroundings. If I’m working in the dining room, I’ll switch to the living room or the home office (which is woefully neglected because it is in the basement, and I have a slight phobia of basements). In my pre-married life, I’d literally change my surroundings by moving furniture around, but I think that would drive my husband crazy. When in the city, I love working from cafes with wifi.

8. Peruse blogs. I’m still not adept at perusing my RSS feed reader but when I do, I find great nuggets of inspiration. I’ve also used a Web app called Snackr to create a ticker-like display of blog headlines across the bottom of my computer screen. I turn it on when I really need some brain tickling.

7. Engage in social networking. My watercooler is on Twitter. I get my news, tips on how to do things, and inspirational messages from Twitter. In those lulls in my brain, all I have to do is peruse my Twitterstream and get fired up with new ideas.

6. Play with my daughter. While it is hard when I’m frustrated from writers block or feeling down to get into the playful spirit, hearing my daughter laugh or hearing her tell a story can create a shift inside of me toward something more positive and inspired.

5. Read a book. I’m talking about the paper kind of book, not the digital. Sometimes, just holding a “real” book in my hands can be comforting. Reading something different - like fiction - can help to pull me out of my rut.

4. Engage in retail therapy. While it is hard to do much shopping in rural Alaska, I do enjoy stopping by the Tok General Store for a few items. While shopping to get out of a funk can be risky, I have to admit it really does help. When I’m in the “big city” and have a plethora of stores available to me, just walking in and looking around can do wonders for me.

3. Cook or bake. I’m domestically challenged, but I’ve discovered cooking and baking as a way to loosen up my creativity. I tend to open up several cookbooks at once and work off of different versions of a recipe and often have to be creative when I don’t have all the right ingredients. So far the experiments have been edible, and the creative time a great respite.

2. Take a shower. While some people love a nice hot bath, I prefer a nice hot shower to just let go of all the things that may be burdening me and affecting my creativity or mood. I could stand in a shower for hours but find that I’m suddenly inspired with a great idea which cuts the shower short.

1. Hug my husband. Love. Endorphins. Nothing like ‘em. When things are really caving in on me or getting me down, I throw my arms around my handsome hubby and know that I’m loved, protected, and valued. Love is inspiration.

What do YOU do to get inspired?

I recently attended the Blogalicious Weekend in Atlanta which was the first blogging conference for women of color. And as with any major conference in the last few years, Twitter is all the rage as the tool of choice to document an event and send and receive short messages from attendees.

It occurred to me while at a conference where the tech savvy ranged from expert to total newbie that those of us who use Twitter regularly take for granted that it is there and ready for us to use. Anyone who hasn’t yet tried Twitter often can’t get past the “what the heck is it?” question as well as “how in the world would I use it?”

So I wanted to compile a list of 10 tips for starting to use Twitter for your business and your life because Twitter is flexible that way. But until you can understand - and communicate - the benefits and best practices, it is hard to convince anyone (including yourself) that Twitter has any value at all.

On with the tips.

1. Get a smart Twitter handle. When it comes to business, the best Twitter handle you can get is your own name or maybe even your company name. But whatever name you choose, make sure you have a strategic reason for using it. How do you want to be recognized and remembered in business circles? If you’re thinking you’ll only use Twitter for personal reasons, think again. The lines continue to blur between anything you do in social networks professionally and personally so choose your Twitter handle with care.

2. Choose a clear icon. Most people use a photo of themselves as their Twitter icon or avatar and that’s great because people want to interact with people. However, there it is also acceptable to use your company logo as your Twitter icon if you are speaking “as the brand” instead of more personally as yourself. In many small businesses, you the business owner are the brand. Choosing the right image to use is important to make a good first impression and to build a recognizable Twitter presence.

3. Brand your page. You have the ability to change the background on your Twitter page. Take advantage of that otherwise blank space to better brand your page with your logo, relevant photos, and even additional text and links. While the background image is not “clickable,” just spelling out your web site URL or including graphics to show you are also on Facebook can give your followers more information than the 160 character bio and single link Twitter offers you.

4. Follow selectively. While it may be tempting to follow as many people as you can in hopes that they follow you back, you should really have strategic reasons for following other people. Some good business reasons to follow someone include: they are a luminary in your industry; they act as a human filter and post links to relevant articles often; you do business with them; or they are someone you’d like to network with such as a member of the media. Follow a few people at a time, then listen and engage them in dialogue or retweet them. Then add a few more. Keep your following to follower ratio in balance, that is, you want to make sure you have more followers than the number of people you are following. Otherwise, you look like a Twitter spammer or at the very least, desperate.

5. Listen before you tweet. Like with any community, listen first by following along the conversations you see in your Twitterstream based on who you are following. Don’t pipe up until you know you have something of value to share. Value can range from a link to an interesting and relevant article to a useful tip to someone who is asking for advice to a retweet of someone’s great quote or giving kudos to someone you follow on Twitter for something they’ve done.

6. Pick your tool. There are many desktop-based, Web-based and mobile-device based applications to post to Twitter. Pick the mode that is most comfortable for you and the tool that makes the most sense to you. For desktop, many people love TweetDeck or Seesmic Desktop. For the Web, I still use my Twitter home page but also use Splitweet to post to different Twitter accounts. For my iPhone, I love Tweetie but have also tried Twittelator and TweetDeck. And there’s Twitterberry for the Blackberry among others. Most of these tools are free or cheap so don’t be afraid to try out a few until you find the right one.

7. Pay attention to what matters. It is easy to get swept up into the Twitterstream and get off topic. Keep your goals in mind when you are using Twitter. Are you ultimately trying to sell product? Don’t get so caught up in the tweet flurry that you forget to occasionally tweet links to your products. Are you looking for clients? Use Twitter to network and then be careful how else you Tweet because people are watching including potential clients.

8. Tweet regularly. While you can blog once a week at the very minimum and still keep some momentum going with your blog, Twitter is a much more immediate and constant stream of interaction. Expect to tweet at least daily, but you’ll be much more effective if you tweet several times a day. Don’t plan out every single tweet - spontaneity is a good thing on Twitter.

9. Reference and retweet. Be generous on Twitter and you will be rewarded. While it may be tempting to use Twitter to broadcast about yourself and your company all the time, you should balance self-referencial tweets with those that give kudos to others. Retweets are always appreciated by others - just make sure they are on message for your own followers.

10. Step away. It is easy to get sucked into Twitter for hours, but it really only takes 15 minutes a day to do good things on Twitter. Spend more time only if you have strategic business reasons to do so, otherwise, you can find yourself wasting time instead.

Overall, be yourself, be real, be engaged in your tweet community. The value of Twitter comes from the value you put into it.

What are some tips you’ve learned as you’ve incorporated Twitter into your communications tool kit?

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