What is it like being an entrepreneur mom in a family business? Pro-blogger, Gina Blitstein, recently interviewed Shane Evans, founder of Massage Heights, a massage therapy company sporting nearly 60 locations around the U.S. How does Shane manage her life and relationships while working side by side, day in and day out with her husband, brother and children? Shane provided the answers to these questions and much more in this interview on behalf of Work It, Mom!

Since launching Massage Heights in 2004, this energetic mother of three has managed to create a sense of graceful balance between her life and work. Here’s what Shane had to say when I asked her about her life as an entrepreneur mom:

WIM: What did you do for a living before you decided to start Massage Heights?
SE: I’ve held various marketing and medical sales positions. Before I started Massage Heights, I held a marketing position for a property management company in Chicago.

WIM: What factors made you first consider going into business for yourself?
SE:* My husband worked for a national fitness chain for 14 years and we were constantly moving from one city to the next.

• Our roots are in Texas and after we moved back to San Antonio from Chicago, we were pretty well established, we had our three children, and new home, and we didn’t want to give up what we had for my husband to make a lateral move at his company.
• I’ve always been a massage connoisseur, and after having a few bad experiences of paying $150 for just mediocre service, or having my massage cut short, I recognized the need for affordable, convenient, professional massage therapy
• My parents and brothers always had their own businesses; I’ve always been around entrepreneurs and knew that one day I wanted a business of my own, but I needed it to be the right time and concept

Working with family presents many blessings as well as challenges…
WIM: What are the best things about working with family?
SE:

• Trust – we have a level of trust that I simply can’t achieve with anyone else
• A new relationship/perspective – when you work with family, you have the benefit of also building a professional relationship with a person that is so important to you; it gives you different respect level for that person and even strengthens your personal relationship.
• Because we are such a close family, we make a very strong leadership team, something that allows us attract high quality employees and business partners

WIM: What are the biggest challenges when working with family?
SE:

• It is natural to be very comfortable with family – so its easy to react to a situation in a much more passionate or unrestrained manner when compared to how you’d react to an employee or employer.
• Define responsibilities – especially when starting the business, it is difficult to define your separate and specific roles, identify your strengths and weaknesses

WIM: How do you maintain professionalism in the workplace when working with family?
SE: We respect each other, and our employees in the workplace – just as if any company executives had a strong disagreement, they would address them behinds closed doors. We keep any family/personal issues out of the workplace, because again, you can react very passionately b/c you are so comfortable with family.

WIM: How do you keep business issues out of family life?
SE: This is very difficult and it’s hard to have a family dinner without talking about some aspect of work, but as now that our business is established and we’ve built a strong foundation, the work talks becomes minimal at home. When you are first starting out, you don’t have much or an option to live and breathe your business.

WIM: When work and personal life collide, how do you maintain balance?
SE: I’ve managed to find a healthier balance over time; I make sure I set aside some time that is just devoted to the kids. I never miss a single sport event or school function even if there is a lot of work to be done.

WIM: How do you involve your children in the running of Massage Heights?
SE: When she was 15, our oldest daughter worked in summer helping us w/ data entry and answering phones at our corporate Massage Heights retreat location.

WIM: What do your children learn from having a mom who is an entrepreneur?
SE: I think they’ve seen that hard work does pay off; they see the freedom that business ownership provides, but they also see that you must work hard to achieve the American Dream.

Your business is the “business” of pampering others.
WIM: How do others pamper you?
SE:

• For as long as I can remember, my husband brings a cup of coffee to me in bed each morning. This is the only way I will wake up. If he is traveling, he will set up the coffee pit on my night stand and set it to brew in the morning so it’s right in reach!
• I can also say that my staff really caters to my needs. They are always asking if there is something they can help out with, or do for me personally just to make my life easier.

WIM: How do you pamper yourself?
SE:

• Massage, of course! I also sleep in when you can and when I have a less hectic weekend, I like to relax around the house.
• I take advantage of travel – since I’m not with my kids, I have more time to just relax in the hotel room and I often use spa services if they are available

WIM: When you can’t do it all, is it easy or difficult for you to delegate?
SE: Always been a bit of a control freak, used to be hard to delegate, and hiring qualified people

WIM: To whom is it hard to delegate?
SE: New employees with whom I haven’t yet built a strong trust.

WIM: To whom is it easier to delegate?
SE: I have to say that as a bit of a “control freak” it has been tough to delegate important tasks to other people. But of course the staff that has proven themselves and gained my trust do take on more responsibility.

WIM: What do you know about yourself now that you didn’t know before you became an entrepreneur?
SE: I am stronger than I ever thought I was, capable of a lot more than I ever recognized.

WIM: In your opinion, is everyone cut out to be an entrepreneur? What qualities are most beneficial to an entrepreneur?
SE:

• No, not everyone is cut out.
• Drive and ambition to do what it takes to have some control over your future
  You need to be able to envision past tomorrow, think big, always improve on your business and your operating systems
• Recognize that you can’t do it all and be able to hire the right people, bring on the right business partners who can help you achieve your goals

WIM: What will be your legacy - as a mom, as a business person, as a human being?
SE:

• Mom: kids will remember that regardless of work load, that I loved them, was there for them, they weren’t overlooked
• Business Person: that I led by example, that I was passion about what I did, dedicated to people who have entrusted me with their future, employees, franchise owners

Working with family could complicate Shane’s business and her personal relationships but she has embraced this element, making it work in everyone’s favor. She stands as a strong example of how the different components of life can be integrated into a successful business scenario. The key is to keep in mind the the emotional elements and personal needs of everyone concerned. When everyone is taken into consideration, the business needn’t take presidence over family and the needs of the family needn’t interfere with those of the business.

Could you work with family in your business?

Pro-blogger, Gina Blitstein, recently interviewed entrepreneur mom, Lucinda Cross, founder of Corporate Mom DropOuts. As the name implies, Corporate Mom DropOuts supports women who have left the corporate world to start an at-home business while managing their families needs. Lucinda also runs a blog and radio show, and is the author of the book, Corporate Mom DropOuts.

Lucinda Cross says that she’s made it her life’s mission to uplift, inspire and change people’s lives. She likes to call herself a catalyst for motivation, passion and high energy and works with small business owners supporting them to work on their business and not in their business. Cross also trains and coaches women who are interested in learning how to work from home, take charge and create the life they love.

On behalf of Work It, Mom, I asked this dynamic lady some questions about her life as she gracefully bears the responsibilities of being a mother and an entrepreneur.

WIM: What factors inspired you to become an entrepreneur?
LC: My biggest inspiration is my children. I have two little ones and the fact that I was only spending 45 min a day with my kids after I came home from work was beginning to put a strain on the relationship I had with them.

WIM: How did your family react when you decided to become an entrepreneur?
LC: My spouse was not in agreement and we ended up in a separation but the kids absolutely loved it and of course my family thought I went crazy…

WIM: What is the most gratifying part of being an entrepreneur?
LC: Being able to live my life and use my creativity to create revenue. I am my own boss and it feels good to do what I want when I want and how I want.

WIM: What is the most challenging part of being an entrepreneur?
LC: Charging what I am worth. It was hard to adopt a sellers mindset when it came to pricing my products and services because I love what I do so much that I would give it away for low value. This was the most challenging part of my business setting my rates and sticking to it.

WIM: How does the life of an entrepreneur mom differ from that of other working moms?
LC: There is no hustle and bustle in my life as an entrepreneur mom. I don’t have to negotiate time with my kids or time with myself versus time on the job. My health is better physically and mentally. Less coffee, good meals throughout the day versus munching on a grab and go meal. Mentally I am not aggravated any more or exhausted all the time. I can breathe, follow my workout plan, nutrition plan, include meditation and prayer in my day and most of all my kids get to see me smile and play with them more often.

WIM: How do you keep yourself inspired to move forward with your business each and every day?
LC: I love what I do, I love inspiring and impacting other women and moms lives by helping them attain a lifestyle mompreneur business as well. I look forward to reaching out and connecting with fabulous women doing fabulous things.

WIM: Are you more likely to combine family time and business time or draw a sharp distinction between the two?
LC: There is a line I draw between family time and business time. I have business hours posted in my office space; I set my working hours according to their schedule. I have incorporated a system called the “no trespassing zone” which let’s my kids know that they cannot enter the office space or interrupt during the time when my orange cones are around. “No toys in the area, no noise in the area and no screaming mommy in the area.”

WIM: What do your children learn from having an entrepreneur for a mom?
LC: My kids are so excited about my business and I involve them in the process. They have already started to create little side businesses for themselves. They want to work for themselves and they are also learning that their creativity can make them money and make them happy. They watch every move I make and they are proud to say to their friends that their mom works from home. They have confidence to think out loud know. I see the change and the confidence.

WIM: How are you at delegating?
LC: I have a team of virtual assistants which I call my trusted advisors. I delegate most of the things that take my attention away from what I am good at. As a former virtual assistant and virtual assistant coach I understand the value of delegating and I do it in order to keep my business up and running and in order. I delegate my blog updates, research, media outreach, follow up calls. I delegate most of my income generating task.

WIM: How are you at managing “me time.”
LC: I create focus days and Wednesday is my “me time” day to do whatever I want to do, nap all day, hair salon, massage, food shopping, book store, and library. I love Staples so I like to go there and just browse and buy.

WIM: How does the business you are in help other moms?
LC: My business helps other moms learn “where” to start and “how” to start her own company to gain the freedom she desires, build better businesses, learn techniques that can balance both business and home. My business provides other moms with the learning tools to succeed such as webinars, tele-seminars, workshops and most of all coaching and mentoring.

WIM: What is your proudest professional achievement?
LC: Self publishing my book Corporate Mom Dropouts and an interview on ABC NEWS as the Mompreneur.

WIM: What is your proudest personal achievement?
LC: My proudest personal achievement is publishing my book Corporate Mom Dropouts

Lucinda firmly believes that there is a strong similarity between giving birth to a child and giving birth to a business, which both include “a lot of love, dedication, commitment, hard work – and occasional frustrations.” In accordance with that belief, Lucinda has partnered with Traci Bisson, founder of The Mom Entrepreneur for the launch of a contest called, The Business Baby Shower. The contest will celebrate and create awareness of companies that are run by mothers.

Even though raising a family while running your business is fraught with challenges, Lucinda shows that entrepreneur moms likewise enjoy unique benefits and a very special sense of accomplishment. She is proof positive that with ambition and diligence, you can drop out of the corporate rat race and create a life you’ll love in business.

Could you leave the corporate world behind to strike out on your own in business?

What’s the use of planning? It seems like every time you plan for something, Murphy’s Law kicks in and anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Case in point:

I got back from a conference last week and met up with my family for my husband’s business trip. The plan was that our 3-year-old would be with a babysitter every day for the week while I met with clients and got caught up with my work. Plus I’d get the chance to see friends and arrange play dates so my daughter could see her friends.

Enter good old Murphy.

On Sunday night, my little one came down with a sore throat with a barking cough and fever. Plus my husband’s chronic cough was getting worse. So on Monday, I set up doctors appointments for both of them. When I learned that our daughter had The Croup, I had to put the babysitter on hold.

Suddenly what was going to be an uber-productive week for me turned into 24/7 mommydom.

I began sending out messages to clients to rearrange or postpone calls and meetings even before we checked into our hotel. I was already drowning in work, however, could no longer see the life preserver of a babysitter in my sights. Instead of having seven uninterrupted hours of work every day for a week, I was couped up in a hotel room with Nickelodeon playing in the background, sequestering myself in the hotel bathroom during really important calls that I felt I couldn’t cancel or postpone.

Putting a 3-year-old and a working mom in a hotel room for hours on end is a recipe for disaster. Eventually, she began deliberately doing anything at all to get my attention, even things that she knew would annoy me like hanging on my arm if I tried to type on my computer and banging on the bathroom door when I tried to get on a call.

Our nights were filled with hacking coughs which kept waking us all up so sleep deprivation was added to the general cabin fever and malaise. I finally went to the doctor myself because I was feeling terrible.

“You’re exhausted,” he said. Really?

I asked him if he could write me a prescription for a trip to Hawaii. Alone. He laughed. I was dead serious.

By Thursday, I was cross-eyed with frustration and practically catatonic from exhaustion plus I had a small speaking gig that day. I had no other recourse than to bring my daughter with me. And it was then that she announced to me that resistance was futile.

“I don’t think I’m going to be on my best behavior, Mommy,” she told me with a glint in her eye and smirk on her lips. And she proceeded to prove herself with carefully orchestrated bad behavior. How was I going to get through my presentation?

Luckily, my husband called moments before I was going to speak to say he was on his way to help out during his lunch break. Right before he arrived, I started my presentation only to have my daughter walk up to me with one of her dolls asking me to dress the doll.

“I will in a moment, honey. Mommy’s speaking.”

“Dress Snow White, Mommy!” she insisted. I proceeded to dress tiny princess dolls while discussing blogging for business. I was already to far gone over the edge to think of a logical solution other than biting my tongue until my husband arrived.

That afternoon, our daughter’s cough changed from a bark to a horrible sound full and thick with gunk. I brought her to her pediatrician again and it turned out that she had developed RSV. We headed back to the hotel with a nebulizer and dashed hopes that she was no longer contagious. The hope of a babysitter on Friday was gone. I had a sick child, and I was her mommy and that was that.

Looking back at the past week, still exhausted and drained from it all, I don’t know why I didn’t just shut down the work side of my life and devote my entire time and energy and attention to my daughter. I was so entrenched in work mode, panicked that I would fall even further behind on deadlines or frustrate my team or let a client down that I couldn’t shift into full mommy mode.

Then I think of how “lucky” my husband is because he is so entrenched in old societal stereotypes that the man is the breadwinner and the woman is the homemaker and mommy that he gets to go to work - or in this case, a training conference - and not think twice about leaving me to be with our daughter while she’s sick, even if it means that I missed a full week of work. Somehow, because I don’t go into an office and don’t have a “boss” since I own my own company, my work just isn’t really work in his mind. I know he felt bad about the situation to a certain extent but not bad enough to miss a day of training so I could get something done with my job.

I’m convinced yet again that there is no such thing as work/life balance. I have often called it a “juggle” rather than a “balance,” but in this case, I dropped all of the balls.

What would YOU have done in this situation?

Problogger, Gina Blitstein, takes the opportunity to help a friend gain control over her hectic life.

Do you feel overwhelmed by your life? Do you feel as if it is swallowing you up or crushing the “you” out of you? My Internet friend, “C” does. C is probably much like a lot of the women you know. She currently finds herself feeling like a stranger to herself and to her life. She plays the roles of a mom, a wife, a daughter, an employee, a concerned citizen…but when does she get to be C, the woman who loves to write and knit, read and play games on her iPhone?

Her obligations attached to her many roles pull her this way and that. Her life, she says, is running her. Obviously it should be the other way around but how do we take the wheel and steer our own life when factors all around us seem to conspire to run us aground?

C wants to take control but she doesn’t want to be rigid about it. She simply wants to feel like she has some choices and some “say” about how she spends the precious hours of her precious days.

How did C get in this situation in the first place? No one dragged her, kicking and screaming, to this bustling existence in which she finds herself. She made choices and with them came responsibilities, right?

Sometimes, however, we believe we’ve made choices when we really haven’t.

Ian Coburn, author of the upcoming book, “Choice - The Meaning of Life: How to Have More and Better Choices in Business, Relationships, Government and Life” says that we often do things because we believe them to be the “appropriate” thing - not because we’ve freely chosen to do them. He proposes that as humans we tend to unthinkingly fall into the belief that there is a “proper” cycle to life, especially as an adult: job/college - career - marriage - children/family - divorce. We often unthinkingly follow that course for our life, believing we are making choices when, in reality we are following a pre-ordained cycle of behavior that few question.

Ian challenges us to seriously consider each step of our life, realizing that each is not a given. We can have love without marriage; marriage without children; children without marriage. We can go to college later in life and change careers ad infinitum. Ian maintains that by realizing that we have more options available than those that are ingrained in us as “proper,” we can make choices that are more personally suitable. That, Ian says, is the first step to feeling in control because true choice comes from a place of strength.

When we make choices that are personally relevant, we will automatically feel more in control.

You’ll want to bolster that sense of control by being aware of some basic truths. Take care to safeguard your psyche, Ian reminds us, by realizing the following:

• You are the only person responsible for your happiness. Only you know what you want and what will make you happy; hence, only you can guarantee action to pursue what you want and happiness.
• The only person you have to live with is you. If your mom annoys you, you don’t have to talk to her. You can divorce your spouse if your marriage falls apart. You can change your friends. You can quit your job or transfer. The only person you can’t get away from is yourself. You damn well better make sure you make yourself a top priority, then.
• People only have the power over you that you give them. People can’t control you unless you let them.
• You will die. The clock is ticking. Your happiness and what you want are regulated by an expiration date; hence, tomorrow is not another day—tomorrow is today’s backup plan.

So my friend C can rest assured that there are things she can do to regain her sense self. Take charge of your decisions and take care of yourself. That’s the prescription for taking and maintaining control of your life. When you are living your authentic life, you are best suited to take on the responsibilities that are part and parcel of the choices you make.

What factors govern the choices you make in your life?