Maintaining a close and happy relationship is a goal of most married couples. When other aspects of our life make us less than happy, that attitude can spill over into our closest relationships. Problogger, Gina Blitstein, explores the impact of happiness at work upon happiness in your marriage.

Most of us would agree in the theory that happiness begets happiness, right? Well, it seems that when it comes to career happiness and marital happiness, the correlation is more than speculation - it’s a fact.

In the results of a National Institute of Health study, the “Early Years of Marriage Project,” Terri Orbuch, PhD, has discovered a positive correlation between happiness in one’s career and happiness in one’s marriage. As project director of this, the longest-running study of married couples ever conducted, Dr. Orbuch has studied what makes marriages happy - and what breaks them apart - since 1986.

The conclusion of this landmark study is that those couples who include one another in every aspect of their lives - including their work - tend to have stronger, more cohesive relationships which are more likely to withstand the challenges that arise within the lives of married couples. It appears that because work is such an integral part of our lives, to avoid discussing it with our spouse is paramount to keeping secrets - or at the very least - to keeping our spouse at arm’s length. While it may not always be the most enjoyable topic, discussions about our work can foster deeper understanding, trust and commitment between spouses. Because work takes up such a large portion of our daily lives, talking to our spouse about our accomplishments and challenges in the workplace proves to be the ultimate act of intimate sharing - a true bonding experience. And couples who feel this degree of intellectual and emotional closeness are simply happier together.

Dr. Orbuch suggests that couples follow these guidelines in order to integrate their work life and their spousal relationship:

Seek support and help from your spouse. If you’re having a problem at work, solicit advice from your spouse. Research shows that the need for assistance is one of the three basic needs of all people in relationships (intimacy and reassurance of one’s value are the other two). Seeking solutions to work-related problems together strengthens the marital bond and feeling that “we’re in this together.” Moreover, because your spouse knows you so well, he or she is likely to come up with valuable insights and feedback.

“Grow” in your job. A recent large-scale study in Harvard Business Review found that the number-one factor that keeps employees happy and motivated in their job is “making progress”–the sense that they are provided with enough resources and time to excel at their job. Workers who are fulfilled and stimulated during the workday tend to be happier individuals, and much of that happiness gets transferred to their spouse at the end of the day.

Practice behaviors that relieve stress. Numerous studies have documented a link between workplace stress and poor health. The two most common workplace stressors are feeling as if you haven’t been heard or supported, and negative interpersonal work relationships. Find ways to express your needs, ask for assistance, and manage conflict at your job. Good health is sexy and attractive to a spouse, and so is an upbeat attitude. You won’t have either of those if your job causes you to gain weight, lose sleep, and develop stress-related symptoms like bad gut and hypertension.

Share your work life. My study found that the happiest marriages were ones where partners felt their spouse regularly disclosed information about his or her life, and did not keep secrets–even details from work that might be deemed “boring.” The upside for the worker, however, is that your work life becomes interwoven into your home life, which promotes a satisfying feeling of work-life balance and makes you happier overall.

Including your spouse in the details of your work life enables them to feel like they are a welcome part of every aspect of your life. Instead of a hard border between work and life, intertwining the two segments will help you feel like a more integrated person, professionally and personally. It logically follows that an integrated person is a happy person and a happy person makes a happier spouse.

Do you include your spouse in the details of your work life? Do they include you in theirs? How does it bring you closer as a couple?